


0031_log

by Buggy



Series: Of Metal Men [3]
Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, Mann vs. Machine, Robots, some language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-11
Updated: 2015-08-16
Packaged: 2018-01-04 08:09:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 34
Words: 59,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1078611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Buggy/pseuds/Buggy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Medical unit 0031 is injured, mistrusted by Dell's teammates, and a complete disgrace to his creator Gray Mann.  So when he's offered the chance to redeem himself and return to Gray's side instead of hiding in a besieged base, desperately trying to restore the Engineer's body while avoiding the watchful eyes of Miss Pauling, will he take it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

entry_1

1136 hours, Saturday, January 27, 1973.

Hello. This is medical unit 0031. I do not think this program was meant to be used as a record of past events, but Herr Engineer suggested it to keep myself busy while waiting for him to finish repairing me. He calls it "keeping a journal." I am a bit puzzled by this practice as I can recall things without having to keep a typed record of them. Most likely it is simply a human ritual. Many things that humans do make little sense to me, and Herr Engineer was human once. What is one supposed to put in a journal anyways? Which details should I insert and which should I leave out? How do humans make decisions like this? It is mystifying.

If someone were to read this at some point, perhaps they would require some context, so here is the context. I am a robot, but I am at a base with Herr Engineer's human friends because I helped him to escape. Drei is also here, sleeping in my lap at the moment. She is what is commonly called a pigeon though I can provide the genus and species names if necessary. She broke her neck against the building and died, but I fixed her. She still cannot fly yet. Eventually I will fix that too.

I am incapacitated at the current time and have been for longer than a week now, though I was powered down for most of that. My vital systems have only just been fixed so I can stay on for longer than a few minutes without shaking too badly. Herr Engineer has not had time to repair my pneumatics or even to patch my tire, so my motility is limited. Still I am able to move my arms and he has me propped up, so it is not as bad as it could be. 

He is wanting to replace a good many of my parts. It may be weeks before he is entirely done if he carries on with these plans, to improve my functionality beyond mere repairs. I will let him do what he likes because I think it helps him to not think about his current mechanical state. It also gives him a reason to stay in his room. It confuses me because he likes being with his friends very much, but he actively looks for reasons to stay away from them. Maybe he thinks they secretly do not want to be around him because he is a robot now, and he thinks they just do not want to tell him. I do not know; human brains are very complex things.

But even so, Herr Engineer seems happy to have escaped from Herr Gray. Being among the humans again has greatly improved his disposition. I wish I could be more pleased for him. As the matter stands I cannot overlook that I betrayed Herr Gray. He must hate me.

I want to stop recording now.

/entry_1


	2. Chapter 2

entry_2

1433 hours, Tuesday, January 30, 1973.

This is unit 0031 again. I wasn't going to utilize this journal any more, but something interesting happened today and Herr Engineer does not want to talk about it. Maybe it is these sorts of situations that lead humans to keep journals in the first place. Either way I will see if this recording helps sate the impulse I have for discussion.

What happened was that the human Soldier and the human Scout came to the workshop today. It was the first time they have visited while I was powered on. They knocked first to signify their presence, and Herr Engineer stopped taking off my punctured tire. They began to converse through the door, as follows:

Soldier unit: ENGIE WHY IS YOUR DOOR LOCKED?  
E-001: Just wait a minute, I'm coming!  
Soldier unit: THAT'S OKAY, I GOT IT!

The Soldier said that because he kicked the door down. Herr Engineer did not behave as though he were surprised, but he did not seem happy about it either. The Soldier did not notice, and neither did the Scout who followed him through the door.

Scout unit: Hey pally, you shouldn't shut yourself up like that. People are gonna think you don't want us around.  
E-001: Don't y'all have any notion of privacy?  
Soldier unit: PRIVACY IS FOR LITTLE GIRLS CRYING OVER THEIR FRILLY PINK DIARIES! BESIDES I HAVE SOME IMPORTANT INFORMATION TO DEBRIEF YOU ON PRIVATE!  
E-001: Yeah, well it'd better be pretty darn important if you couldn't wait for me to unlock the door.  
Soldier unit: IT IS INFORMATION FROM MEDIC AND HE SAID IT WAS IMPORTANT, SO THERE!

Herr Engineer straightened from where he was examining the damaged door so he could look at Soldier's expression, whatever wasn't covered by his helmet anyways.

E-001: What is it?  
Soldier unit: IT IS THAT MEDIC WANTS TO TALK WITH YOU ABOUT IMPORTANT THINGS! SO THAT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO TELL YOU!  
0031: Was?

And then Soldier and Scout turned around quickly to look at me. I do not think they knew that I was conscious.

Scout unit: Whoa, Engie why didn't you tell us that Champ was on?  
0031: Are you referring to me? My identification code is 0031, not--  
E-001: Maybe I would have if y'all gave me time to let you in instead of busting my door down.  
Soldier unit: FIXING THINGS IS YOUR JOB! I'M SURE YOU CAN FIX YOUR STUPID DOOR!  
Scout unit: Yeah, stop being a big crybaby.  
E-001: Scout, do I look like I'm even capable of crying in my present state?

The Scout ignored him except for he snorted a little. His attention was turned toward me anyways, and he began to walk over to the workbench. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do, especially as Herr Engineer and the Soldier were moving as though to leave the room. I did not want to be left alone with this human I didn't know.

0031: Ah... hello.  
Scout unit: So you're like, a real robot? One of the ones that keep trying to kill us all the time?  
0031: I am not trying to kill you right now, so no. Besides I was retired by Herr Gray several months ago.  
Scout unit: Why, you get too old?  
0031: Er, partially, though I would rather not talk--  
Scout unit: Dude, so your eyes like glow in the dark and crap, right? Does that mean you never need a flashlight?  
0031: No, I--  
Scout unit: How about your body? Is that solid or is it hollow?  
0031: Now really, if I was solid metal where would my circuitry und the like-- STOP BITTE, THAT IS NOT PLEASANT!

I grabbed his wrist because he started to bang on my chest. He scowled and yanked out of my grip.

Scout unit: Okay, geez, I was just curious.  
0031: You are asking questions too quickly for me to answer them. Also please do not hit me. I don't like that.  
Scout unit: You're no fun.  
0031: I didn't realize that "being fun" was a condition to being allowed to stay here.  
Scout unit: It ain't. I just thought it'd be cool to have a robot at the base. Didn't expect you to be completely lame.  
0031: There is not much I can do about that. Herr Engineer is still repairing my motility functions.

Then he gave me a strange look as though he had no idea what I was talking about.

Scout unit: You're freaking weird, you know that?  
0031: Er, you may think so I suppose, but that is a matter of opinion I think.

He looked like he was going to keep talking about that, so I changed the subject to something I actually wanted to talk about.

0031: What is it that your Medic wishes to discuss with Herr Engineer?  
Scout unit: Hell if I know. Medic won't even say what he's doing to me when I'm on the table in his surgery. He ain't about to say anything about what him and Engie are up to. Believe me, I asked.  
0031: Why not?

He rolled his eyes and leaned against the wall.

Scout unit: Something about me not being able to keep my trap shut. That's just an excuse though, cause I can keep a secret better than anyone and he knows it. Like this one time when I was back home one of my pals took ma's car for a joyride, see, and I didn't say nothing about how the windshield got busted to her. It's not like--  
0031: Yes, I think I understand now. But, ah, aren't you curious about what they are doing?  
Scout unit: Well yeah, but they still ain't gonna tell me. Why?  
0031: Oh, I was only wondering about it. Your Medic's job sounds very interesting, working with true organisms.

He laughed slightly.

Scout unit: Heh, yeah, the way that crackpot does it makes things a little TOO interesting if you get what I-- oh hey!

The Scout turned to face the door because Herr Engineer had returned. He did not look up immediately on being addressed. This served to irritate the Scout.

Scout unit: Yo, gear-head, I'm talking to you!  
E-001: I heard you, now shut up. Wait... have you been in here this whole time?  
Scout unit: Well yeah. Me and Champ here were having some quality time, you know, like I was showing him the ropes kind of and--  
E-001: He didn't mess with anything did he?

The words were directed at me.

0031: Oh! No, we were only talking as he said. I think he likes talking.  
E-001: Good.

He rubbed the back of his helmet distractedly. I hesitated before continuing the conversation.

0031: Ah, if I may be so bold Herr Engineer, might I ask what it was the Medic und the Soldier were talking with you about?  
E-001: Soldier wasn't talking with me about nothing, just Medic. I doubt Soldier even... yeah.

The Scout looked between us.

Scout unit: Seriously though, what kind of stuff were you--  
E-001: That ain't none of your concern, boy, now how about you leave so I can fix the door y'all broke?

The Scout scowled but made his way toward the exit anyways, even though he hadn't actually been the one who had broken the door.

Scout unit: Your fault for locking the door to start with. Anyways I'll see you Champ. Maybe when you get your wheel fixed we can hang out.  
0031: Goodbye, human Scout. It was interesting to meet you.

After he was gone, I scooted myself forward a little along the workbench so I would be marginally closer to Herr Engineer. He did seem terribly distracted as he stood there staring at the empty door frame. He didn't even proceed forward to examine where the hinges had been torn off by the force of the Soldier's boot.

0031: Is everything all right?  
E-001: Yeah.

There was a pause in which I expected him to say more but he didn't.

0031: Would you be willing to converse about it?  
E-001: Nope.  
0031: Oh. I am sorry, I did not mean to--  
E-001: I'm gonna lie down. You should get some rest too.

I only nodded in reply, but he wasn't looking at me. He was leaving the room so all I could see was his back.

I do not know much about human behavior yet, but his shoulders were tense like they had been when he was human and Herr Gray was asking him questions that he did not like. It is worrying to me a little bit, but then we are among his friends. They will not let anything bad happen to him most likely, unless they are not truly his friends or they are secretly still angry about him going to work for their enemy.

Which is not reassuring now that I am processing it, as these are both possibilities. Perhaps once I am mobile again I can find out what is wrong.

/entry_2


	3. Chapter 3

entry_3

1500 hours, Wednesday, January 31, 1973.

Hello, it is me again. I have some interesting things to record, as well as a mildly distressing thing that I learned this afternoon.

Today Herr Engineer repaired my wheel stalk so that I can get up and move around. It is still not entirely stable, unfortunately, and I am unable to move as swiftly as before. Nevertheless it is an improvement on my previous condition. I thanked him for it once he finished, but he shook his head at me.

E-001: This shouldn't be so damn hard to fix. I dunno why it's taken this long just to get you upright again.

Sensing that he was frustrated, I attempted to console him.

0031: Well, you are operating under a gut many distractions. It hasn't even been two weeks since we escaped, und look at what you have already been able to do! I am conscious, I am able to see, I can communicate, I can even move. It is more than I deserve, Herr Engineer, und I am fine with however long you need to take.

He snorted.

E-001: Yeah, except I'm not fine with it.

I replicated a sigh because that is what humans do when they are talking to someone who is being stubborn, sometimes.

0031: It does not mean anything about your capabilities, if that is why you are upset. If you do not believe me, then perhaps you should go see your human friends und ask them.  
E-001: Eh... I don't really feel up to being around a lot of people just now.

I crossed my arms. That is a good movement to remember; I like it very much.

0031: Herr Engineer. You do enjoy being with them. It does not make sense that you stay in your room by yourself so much. It is counter-intuitive.  
E-001: What are you now, my pa?  
0031: That makes very little sense. I am only concerned. Either way you are avoiding the subject.

He rubbed the back of his helmet and shifted his weight. I have seen him do this movement several times, usually when he is making a decision that he does not like. I think it may be a means to prolong the time he has until he must make this sort of decision, or at least to acknowledge it.

E-001: Fine, I guess. You're coming out there with me though.  
0031: Ah, was?  
E-001: Well you're staying with them ain't you? You'll need to meet everyone proper if you want them to feel comfortable around you, given the nature of your previous encounters.

I didn't like that very much. I must have shifted my weight like Herr Engineer without thinking about it, because I lost my already precarious balance and fell backward into the bench top. He grabbed my arm to stabilize me.

E-001: Careful!  
0031: Entschuldigung, mein Freund. I, ah... yes, you were saying that I should go talk with the humans.  
E-001: Unless you can think of a real good reason not to, yeah. Are you okay?  
0031: I am fine, yes. You simply... you surprised me. That is...

I thought carefully about how best to word my thoughts.

0031: I just... would not think you would suggest that I converse with your teammates more than necessary, that is all.  
E-001: Why, just because you helped kill them a few times?  
0031: Er, it was more than a few times, and I wasn't always just helping to kill them.  
E-001: So what? We get along with RED now, and we've been killing them for longer than you've existed.  
0031: But they are humans, Herr Engineer. It is different.  
E-001: And you're just making excuses, Thirty-One. Come on, they're probably all watching TV right now. We're supposed to be rolling out to head Gray off at Mann Works this week, so they've got plenty of down time. Might as well use it to get better acquainted.

Needless to say, I still did not like the idea, but it seemed that my excuses had proven ineffective.

0031: Egh... all right. I will require assistance moving if the television room is very far down the hall though.  
E-001: I can do that. Here.

He wrapped an arm over my shoulders so I could lean against him somewhat, and we exited through the still broken door. The hallway outside was rather dim and the floorboards uneven, which slowed our progress. I did not notice so much at the time though, because something Herr Engineer had said had captured my attention. I gave him what might be called a sidelong look.

0031: You called me Thirty-One. Why is this?  
E-001: Huh? No reason really. Just 0031's kind of a mouthful.  
0031: Mmm. I suppose that Thirty-One is three syllables shorter.  
E-001: Why, you not like me calling you that?  
0031: Oh no, I do not mind you calling me anything. Well, I might disapprove if you called me something as an insult.  
E-001: In that case we might have to find you a new name altogether. Numbers ain't really a name anyhow.  
0031: Ah yes, you do not like being called by your identification code.  
E-001: No. No I don't.

We stopped talking for a moment as he helped me across a particularly uneven and creaky patch of floorboards. It was an interesting thought, to have an actual name like a human. I was not sure how I felt about it, as it seemed rather irreverent to give a machine something designed for our creators. Herr Gray would not approve. However it hadn't been my suggestion. If these humans and Herr Engineer thought it was all right, then maybe it did not matter as much as I thought it did. I steadied myself as we reached a door at the end of the hallway.

0031: Well... your Scout did call me something earlier. "Champ" I think it was, though I do not know what that means.

Herr Engineer made a snorting sound as he grasped the doorknob.

E-001: We can do better than that.   
0031: Why? You don't use a name either. "Engineer" is a title.  
E-001: That's different, and anyways we're here. Just try to relax and act normal.

I shifted in my discomfort, then stopped because my wheelstalk did not appreciate that very much.

0031: If you say so, Herr Engineer.

He opened the door.

Quite a few of his teammates were present in the little room, making it appear even smaller than it was. The Demoman and the Soldier sat on a worn couch with their feet propped up onto a short table of some sort. A bowl of some white and yellow pieces of fuel sat on the seat cushion in between them, and they were rapidly consuming its contents. The Pyro sat on the floor right in front of the television screen with its head resting on its hands. (I am not sure if the Pyro is actually a human or not, but it seems impolite to ask. Besides it does not behave like a robot.) The Heavy occupied a very strained-looking folding chair on the opposite side of the room from the door, his mouth turned down into a slight frown. The Scout was also present, perched on the back of an armchair. 

All of them turned their attention from the television to us when we entered. Scout waved and immediately fell backward from his perch so I could no longer see him.

Scout unit: OW! Hey Champ, how's it hanging?

I twisted my hands together without thinking about it much. It is odd; I did not notice how much I do this until after I came to this human base. Anyways Herr Engineer stepped forward through the door first, still keeping an arm on me in case I wobbled again. Pyro immediately jumped up and went to hug Herr Engineer, then looked at me very very hard. I did not like that much. Behind it, the rest of the mercenaries were watching me very hard as well. I liked that even less even if they didn't necessarily seem belligerent.

Herr Engineer clapped Pyro on the back but kept his grip on me firm.

E-001: Hey there buddy. This here's Thirty-One. He's a friend of mine, so play nice you hear?  
Soldier unit: HELLO ENGINEER! WE ARE WATCHING A MOVIE ON THE TELEVISION!  
Demolitions unit: I think he can see that. And stop picking out the saltiest pieces ye great arse.  
Soldier unit: YOU ARE A GREATER ARSE, WHATEVER THAT IS!  
Heavy weapons unit: Engineer, why do you bring robot doktor with you?  
E-001: Well, I figured it's high time y'all met him proper-like since I've got him running again.  
Scout unit: Pssh. He already knows who I am 'cause I met him before anybody else. Here, I'm great at telling people what's what.

The Scout popped up from behind the chair and in an instant had an arm around my shoulders. It was good that Herr Engineer was keeping me upright or I might have fallen over.

Scout unit: Okay, so that fat guy over there is Heavy. He's from Russia so sometimes he don't talk real good, but don't call him stupid or nothing because he might rip your arm off and beat you with it. Uh, the guy with the helmet over half his face is Soldier, and the guy with one eye is Demoman. And Pyro's the other guy.  
0031: Ah, danke human Scout. H-hallo everyone.

Demoman nodded politely, though his eye was narrowed just a little bit. Soldier was using his momentary distraction to stuff the bowl's contents into both his mouth and pockets. The Heavy's eyes narrowed as well, but he did not nod like the Demoman. Then Pyro got very close to my face and stared at me so I leaned back and almost fell over again. I did not want it to smudge my optical sensors.

E-001: Careful!  
0031: Ach, sorry Herr Engineer. Und I am sorry for intruding, everyone else. I should probably leave.

The Demoman shrugged and turned back to the television.

Demolitions unit: Nah, don't let us scare ye off, robot. If Engineer trusts ye then you're welcome here.  
Soldier unit: MMF, WHAT TAVISH SAID!  
Demolitions unit: Bloody hell, you've gone and finished off all the popcorn ye bucket head!  
Scout unit: See pally? They're all right, you just gotta get to know them first. I mean, I know we're pretty intimidating and all; if I met me in the street, and I was you, I'd be pretty scared too. The thing is--

The Heavy rose from his seat without waiting for the Scout to finish.

Heavy weapons unit: Robot doktor IS trustworthy, da? You are sure of this Engineer?  
E-001: Well he saved my life, kind of. If that don't make him trustworthy I don't know what does.  
Heavy weapons unit: But you also said that it is why you are like robot now.

I jerked a little in surprise.

0031: You told them, Herr Engineer?

He shifted his weight again. I took note of that.

E-001: I, uh, might have mentioned it. But it's complicated, Heavy, just trust me on this. He's fine.

The Heavy continued frowning but regained his seat.

I nodded slightly to myself, then turned to Herr Engineer. The Pyro had also lost interest and was now sitting in front of the television again.

0031: All right, they have met me. Can we please go back now?  
E-001: We could. You still haven't met Medic, Sniper, or Spy yet though.

I made a groan.

0031: Herr Engineer, please, I am not sure I want to meet everyone all at once. It is rather overwhelming.  
E-001: Well... I suppose we could head back, and you can meet them tomorrow if you want.

He almost sound relieved. I consented, though I still did not know why he was avoiding his friends. It is very different from my situation.

0031: Ja, that would be most appreciated. Thank you.

Herr Engineer began to help me back down the hall. To his apparent displeasure the Scout followed us instead of going back into the television room. That was a small annoyance to me as well; I wanted to ask Herr Engineer about why he told the others about my role in his surgery.

E-001: Don't you have a movie to watch?  
Scout unit: Nah, I'd rather hang out with you guys. They keep getting on to me for talking. But like, it's a movie; what do they expect me to do, sit still and just do nothing while it's running? That's bogus.  
0031: But isn't the point of a movie to see und hear what is happening on the screen?  
Scout unit: Well yeah, but I wasn't being all that loud even!  
E-001: Sure you weren't.

The Scout said something in reply, but looking back over it the conversation was not nearly interesting enough to write down here. It is as I observed before, the human Scout is very much like the robotic ones in that he simply enjoys talking a good deal. I do not understand it myself; if there is nothing of importance to say, why would you continue to say things? But the inner workings of the minds of others, human and robot alike, is not something I have the privilege of looking into at the moment. Herr Engineer did not give him much in the way of replies, but it did not stall the Scout's jabbering. It was rather impressive really.

Anyways Herr Engineer got me back to his room and onto the workbench easily enough. The Scout came inside right after us, still talking.

Scout unit: But yeah like I was saying, I've seen heads explode before, and they didn't make it right at all. You didn't even see brain chunks or-- hey Overalls, I thought you were gonna fix this door yesterday!  
E-001: Huh? Oh... yeah I'll do it later. I'm pretty tired right now. Probably gonna take a nap, so you're gonna have to clear out.

Somehow I doubted that Herr Engineer really did need to take a nap, but the Scout just rolled his eyes and proceeded back toward the doorway again. Then he snapped his fingers and turned back to us.

Scout unit: Oh hey, before I go, there was something I was supposed to tell everybody.  
E-001: Make it short.  
Scout unit: Okay, geez, what's your problem?

Herr Engineer crossed his arms and just glared at him, so the Scout kept going.

Scout unit: Yeah, so basically Miss Pauling's coming over to talk to us or inspect stuff or something Saturday before we leave. I got the call today, and man she was SO flirting with me on the phone, you should have heard it--

Herr Engineer clapped a hand to his face and groaned.

E-001: Aw hell.  
0031: What is the matter?  
E-001: She works for the boss, that's what's the matter.

It took me a moment to fully process the implications of those words. If she worked for the boss of the humans, and neither of them knew that Herr Engineer and myself were at their base, it could be problematic to say the least.

Scout unit: Well yeah she works for the... oh. I didn't think about that.  
E-001: Really. Why don't you go back and do something useful like tell everyone else about the inspection?  
Scout unit: Stop trying to boss me around. It's like ever since you turned into a robot you're pissy all the time--  
E-001: GO.  
Scout unit: I'm going, I'm going!

The Scout left with a huff and an eye roll. Herr Engineer slumped into a chair, rubbing his helmet. I watched him for a moment, trying to think of something useful to say. I couldn't, so I settled for something encouraging.

0031: We may still be able to think of a way to hide, Herr Engineer. Do not worry yourself too much.  
E-001: Easy for you to say. Dammit though, I should have seen this coming.  
0031: You were preoccupied. I think everyone is preoccupied. But let's just... let's think about the facts, shall we? You, Drei, und I are not supposed to be here, apparently, so we will either need to be somewhere else or we will need to conceal ourselves.  
E-001: Yeah. The question is how? Miss Pauling ain't an idiot, and she ain't blind neither. If she sees anything that puts her on our trail, we might as well jump in a trash compactor right then and there. She'll relay anything she finds directly to the Administrator, and that means we're both dead.  
0031: Goodness, that is a terrifying thought.  
E-001: Yep.

I sat twisting my hands and trying to think until Herr Engineer got up with a sighing sound.

E-001: Look, I'm gonna go back and talk to the others, see what they think about all this. You hang tight here and I'll be back before too long. If you think of anything, I'll be glad to hear it.  
0031: Yes, I will think very hard Herr Engineer. We might still be alright.  
E-001: Maybe.

He left so that I was alone in the room except for Drei. I took her out of the little box I had made into a nest to inspect her mechanical parts while I thought. She is still in my lap right now; it has been approximately half an hour since he left.

I do not feel at all useful at the moment. No good solutions to our problem are forming in my head. Of course I am not so good at solving these sorts of problems that require sneaking and concealment anyways. It is not what I was designed for. If only Herr Gray had made me a Spy, perhaps I could figure out something to do!

/entry_3


	4. Chapter 4

entry_4

1925 hours, Thursday, February 1, 1973.

I met another team member today and learned more things that I did not necessarily want to learn.

It started when the Scout entered the workshop this morning. He seemed so excited when he entered, looking over his shoulder almost constantly and rubbing his hands together. I was going to ask him what he was doing but he spoke first.

Scout unit: Okay here's the deal Champ. You know how you were asking about what Medic and Engie were up to, yeah?  
0031: Ah... yes, but why are you--  
Scout unit: Well I was just in the doc's room, see, and there's something in the back he's got kind of covered up with a sheet. I figured since you're fixed we could go see what it is. I bet you anything it's the secret thing they've been working on.

I watched him closely for a moment, confused. It seemed very odd for him to approach me on this matter for some reason.

0031: Why didn't you look for yourself when you were in his room?  
Scout unit: With him right there watching me? I thought you were supposed to be smart! I'm not giving him an excuse to cut me open!  
0031: Oh. So he would not want you to look at this unknown object.

He rolled his eyes.

Scout unit: Why the hell would he keep it covered up if he wanted people looking at it?

The realization of what he was suggesting materialized in my processor. I stared at him.

0031: You wish for me to assist you in looking through your Medic's things without his knowledge or consent.

The Scout grinned.

Scout unit: Yeah, something like that. Let's go before he gets back from lunch.

He turned toward the door. Wishing to prevent rash actions on his part, I took hold of his arm.

0031: But human Scout, bitte, won't we get into terrible trouble with your Medic? This seems foolish.

The Scout pushed my hand off his arm. His face made a scowl at me from annoyance.

Scout unit: We'd only get in trouble if we got caught. That's why you're gonna keep a lookout for me, see how that works?

0031: But--

Scout unit: Look, if you want to help me then stop being a wuss and come on.

I did not like that. Wuss was not a term I was familiar with, but it sounded like an insult.

0031: I am not weak, if that is what you are saying-- oh!

I said "oh" because Herr Engineer had come in through the back without us noticing. He stopped walking and stood very still when he noticed me and the Scout talking. I fidgeted with my hands as I watched him. His arrival made a feeling of guilt start inside of me even though I had not done anything.

E-001: What do you want Scout?

Scout grinned at Herr Engineer as though he weren't doing anything wrong. I should try that sometime. Except my face doesn't work that way, so never mind.

Scout unit: Oh hey! I just wanted to say hello and stuff, you know, check up on Champ. I was thinking maybe I could take him to see Medic since he ain't met him yet.

I looked at Herr Engineer, not sure if I wanted him to allow this or for him to tell the Scout to go away. All the same it did not seem like a good idea to tell him what the Scout had suggested. I did not want to get him into trouble. I was surprised though, because Herr Engineer didn't do either of these things.

E-001: Actually I was gonna take Thirty-One down there myself. Got something I need to talk with him about. You can tag along if you want.

Scout's smile stopped very quickly.

Scout unit: What? But, uh, we were kinda gonna make it like a... a thing, you know?  
E-001: No, I don't know. What I do know is that Medic's gonna tan your hide if you go poking around down there without permission again, and as fun as that might be to watch I don't reckon it'd be good to have a team member laid up because he pissed off the one person here who can patch him up. You ready Thirty-One?

Scout scowled again. I watched the human's agitated reaction out of curiosity. I was rather pleased with the disruption of his plans; the thought of being sneaky and trying to do things without being noticed when Herr Engineer and everyone had been so nice to me made me very uncomfortable. I swung my wheel stalk over the side of the workbench.

0031: Jawohl! But, ah, I will still need help.  
E-001: Right. Maybe before we leave tomorrow I'll be able to fix you the rest of the way.

He pulled me off the bench then held my arm to make sure I stayed steady. Scout watched with that scowl on his face still. It made him look a bit silly I think, but my opinions on facial expressions do not mean much. I will need to study them more closely before my opinions on such matters can be considered.

Fortunately the trip to the human Medic's improvised surgery was not a long one. There was a flight of stairs which needed to be negotiated as it was a basement room, but it was only comprised of 14 steps, and Herr Engineer helped me considerably. The Scout tried his best to help also, so that much can be said for him even if he called me a "fricking fatso" and almost dropped me numerous times.

At the bottom of these steps stood the door to the basement-surgery. It looked old like the rest of the abandoned building-turned-base, with white paint mostly covered by dirt and dark stains where it didn't peel away from the door in long strips. The wood underneath was turning gray. Such an odd place to practice medicine, especially when compared to the stainless steel of the tanks and the smooth, well-cared for interior of Gray Gravel Company headquarters. If I did not know that the human Medic had to be very good at his job, I would question whether or not the location was sanitary.

Herr Engineer brought his fist against the door twice to knock. The second time his fist penetrated the structurally compromised wood and caused it to splinter.

E-001: Dammit!  
Medic unit: Ach, what is it now? Unlike SOME people I have work to--  
Scout unit: Yeah yeah, whatever. Engie wanted to talk with you about something. Oh, Champ's here too.  
Medic unit: Champ? Did you get a dog?  
Scout unit: Heh, no, I mean the robot. I figure Champ's a good name for him anyways, and since I can't call Engie Rex anymore--  
E-001: No, you damn well can't.  
Medic unit: Well if Engineer und the Machinenmensch are with you, I suppose that is another matter. Give me a moment to tidy up.

We could hear the sound of drawers rolling open and closed along with the clangs of metal objects being thrown into a bin, or perhaps a sink. I felt as though I should say something to announce my presence at that point, except I couldn't think of what I should say. It seemed a daunting task, to address the man one was designed after. In the end I decided to simply stand up as straight as I could given the circumstances so I looked more presentable and wait.

He opened the door. The human Medic was in his shirtsleeves instead of the laboratory coat I always saw him wearing into battle. Somehow the lack of his uniform didn't make him seem any less imposing. This may have been partly due to the blood on his hands, which suggested that we had indeed interrupted him in the middle of something, and also because he looked quite cross. I know the cross expression somewhat better than the other ones; Herr Gray has it on his face often enough when he has to deal with us robots sometimes.

He looked at me, and his frown became more pronounced. I stood up even straighter and forced myself not to wring my hands.

0031: Ah, hallo Herr Medic. I am--  
Medic unit: I know perfectly well what you are. Engineer, can I have a word in private?

I looked to Herr Engineer, feeling a little... perhaps the correct term is disappointed. The Medic's reaction was not what I had hoped for. Meanwhile, Herr Engineer shook his head.

E-001: I already know what you're gonna say Doc, and you know full well he's our best bet if we want to pull this off.  
Scout unit: Pull what off now? What'd I miss?  
Medic unit: Egh... fine then. Come inside-- touch ANYTHING Scout und I will make your next death a particularly unpleasant one!

The Scout muttered several insults as he followed Herr Engineer and myself inside, but not very loudly. The Medic either didn't hear him or pretended he didn't and went on with closing the door behind us.

The basement was not very large, at least compared to the surgeries I am accustomed to. He had several gurneys crammed into the space along with a good bright light and a heart monitor and all the different machines one needs for surgeries. This left only a little room for movement, but this was good for me because it meant that wherever I might go in the room, there would always be something to use as a support. I held the side of an industrial sized metal sink near the door, which held some trays with fragments of a recent project still on them. It looked like skeletal muscle with accompanying connective tissue. I wanted to get a closer look but was quickly distracted.

Scout unit: Whoa whoa whoa, what the hell is that thing?

I looked up. The thing the Scout was referring to lay out on a gurney directly under the light, with the beam from the Medic's healing gun aimed onto it. I didn't know how I missed it before.

A human arm lay there on the brushed steel surface. It was miniature, bloodied, and there was something wrong with its proportions. It seemed to be shifting slightly under the medigun's bluish glow, the fingers reaching out a bit longer by fractions of centimeters, then retracting again in a pulsating pattern. A stained sheet was draped on one end of the gurney with an icebox sitting on top of it. My best guess was that this was the covered object the Scout had wanted to examine surreptitiously.

The Medic's brows rose a little, and it looked like he might smile. I think he was excited about the project.

Medic unit: Oh, that? That is an arm, mein Freund, which I have been growing myself. I took a sample of tissue from the RED Engineer (he was most accommodating) und by exposing it to the healing effects of the medigun was able to replicate a section from around the area from which it was harvested.  
Scout unit: That's freakin' sick man. It's moving and stuff.  
Medic unit: Oh it is not only moving; it is GROWING! That is the entire point, you see! Now, ah, unfortunately I do not think I will be able to grow the entire body out from the arm. It is taking a long time to just regenerate this much, as you can see. Apparently being detached from its progenitor und lacking a steady blood supply makes a difference in these matters.  
Scout unit: Why the hell--  
E-001: He's growing it for me. We're trying to make me human again.  
Scout unit: Oh.

It was quiet for a moment as we watched the thing expand and contract. It must have been getting bigger by minuscule increments of measure. I could not see that it was really getting any larger at all.

0031: But what use is a single arm going to be, if it does manage to generate skin und the other necessary bits?

He stopped smiling and gave me a look that was decidedly annoyed.

Medic unit: I am going to take other samples from the RED Engineer, of course. It should not be difficult to stitch them together once I have everything grown. We may still try cloning as we had originally intended, but that would take a decidedly longer amount of time.  
0031: Oh, I see. I am sorry if I seemed--  
Medic unit: But some of those involved in this project don't seem to think I am capable of the final stage of operations, for some reason.

Here he glared at Herr Engineer. I looked between them, an idea of why Engineer had brought me here happening in my head. Herr Engineer only shrugged at the Medic.

E-001: I just figure that since it's my brain, I'd like someone who's experienced with brain transplants involved in the operation.  
Medic unit: Bah, brain transplants! I put in your uber-meter didn't I? I have held your heart in my hands and you were perfectly fine with that, but for some reason you do not trust me enough to work with your brain?  
E-001: For cryin' out loud, just because I want 0031 to help with this don't mean I'm underestimating your skill! You're still in charge of putting everything together and all; I wouldn't let you do that if I didn't think you were up to scratch.  
Medic unit: Hmmph. I would think you would show it better than I TOLD YOU NOT TO TOUCH ANYTHING!

The Scout jumped back from where he had been poking the arm with his index finger. A moment after he moved, the Medic's bonesaw came crashing down onto the gurney right where his hand had been. The arm bounced slightly from the impact. I jumped and clanged against the sink.

E-001: CAREFUL WITH THAT THING!  
Scout unit: Geez, I was just looking!  
Medic unit: You do not look with your HANDS you stupid boy! Didn't I just tell you not to TOUCH anything? Sie haben die Aufmerksamkeitsspanne einer Mücke!

I pushed myself fully upright again as the Medic sank into incomprehensible muttering and the Scout said swear words under his breath. Herr Engineer had stepped toward the arm to make sure it was undamaged. I imitated the sound of clearing a throat.

0031: Ah... ah, perhaps we should leave, Herr Engineer. I do not want to disrupt Herr Medic's work further.

He straightened and nodded.

E-001: Yeah. Yeah, we'll get out of your hair doc, and thanks. Scout?  
Scout unit: I'm coming, I'm coming.  
Medic unit: I will talk with you later about the project, Engineer. And next time, do not bring Scout.

We left the room. No one said much during the ordeal of carrying me up the stairs. In fact I didn't bother saying anything until Scout had stalked off and Herr Engineer and I had arrived at the workshop again. I leaned in the corner.

0031: So... so you have found a way to turn yourself back?  
E-001: Medic and Spy came to me with the idea first. They were just gonna clone the RED Engineer, but then Medic reckoned he found a faster way to do it.

I looked at my hands and tried to process this information fully.

0031: And you wished me to assist with the final operation, to put you back into your body?  
E-001: If you're willing.  
0031: Your Medic does not seem thrilled with the idea.  
E-001: He'll get over it.  
0031: Still... I was rather looking forward to meeting him. I didn't think he'd be so offended by my presence.

Herr Engineer did his sigh again.

E-001: He'll get over it, Thirty-One. He's a grown man, and since you've done the reverse of this surgery before it only makes sense that you help. Medic knows that.

I nodded.

0031: I will help then. It is a gut thing, to be back to how you were originally manufactured, and I am... happy for you.  
E-001: I appreciate it.  
0031: It is no trouble. Really it isn't.

As he turned away to work on something, though, I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like when I was the only robot left at the base. Hopefully nothing will change, but the fact remains that the Scout is the only human who seems to like me much.

/entry_4


	5. Chapter 5

entry_5

2204 hours, Friday, February 2, 1973.

We may yet escape notice by Herr Engineer's employer. I must say I was quite worried about what was going to happen to us, and even now it is not certain that everything will work together for our good tomorrow. All the same, concealment is at least beginning to look possible. I only wish that I was better at not making the humans angry with me.

It did not surprise me that it was the Spy who finally approached us with a feasible plan. He entered the workshop today with the Sniper, whom I had not met until that point, and Herr Engineer rose to greet them. I was resting on the workbench again because Herr Engineer was putting away the tools he had just used to finish repairs on my wheel stalk and I did not want to be in his way.

Spy unit: Don't trouble yourself, mon ami. I do not intend to stay for long.

The Sniper inclined his head to Herr Engineer and slouched against the wall near the doorway.

Sniper unit: Dell.

Herr Engineer nodded back to them. I pushed myself into a sitting position so they would know I was awake. The Spy did not do more than glance at me, but the Sniper frowned a little bit.

E-001: What brings the two of you down here?

Spy unit: Sniper has agreed to let you and Monsieur Robot stay in his van for the time being. It is highly unlikely that Miss Pauling will see fit to examine anyone's personal property, so provided that all of you will fit...

Herr Engineer's gaze turned quickly to the Sniper.

E-001: You'd do that? I mean, you'd be okay with us staying with you for a while?

The Sniper's mouth made a frown. It seemed more like an annoyed expression than an unhappy one, I thought.

Sniper unit: It's only gonna be until Miss Pauling's gone back again. I can manage things being a little cramped for one day.  
E-001: Well thanks. That's awfully kind of you.  
Sniper unit: Heh. You sound surprised.  
E-001: Oh I ain't surprised or nothin'. I just...

He allowed his sentence to trail away. For a moment I was confused, but then I remembered something.

0031: Oh! You thought that because you-- I mean, ah, never mind.

All three of them looked at me, which made me feel very foolish. The Sniper was tense suddenly, like Herr Engineer used to be when he was agitated and still human. The Spy didn't tense up though. He watched us almost as though he thought me almost saying something impolite on accident was amusing. He tapped the ash off the end of his cigarette.

Spy unit: No, go on. I'm interested in what you have to say.

Herr Engineer looked at the Spy, which probably meant that he was angry or annoyed with him. It made me feel bad, so I tried to think of something besides what I had really been going to say.

0031: Well, er, I was simply thinking that, ah, probably the reason that Herr Engineer is surprised is something that is... um...

I couldn't think of anything. I need to practice lying. Unfortunately Herr Engineer knew exactly what I had thought of.

E-001: Because I strangled him half to death? Yeah, that's part of it.

He sounded quite angry, so I decided to be quiet until the others left. Except then the Sniper was frowning at me. I started wringing my hands again because it made me feel a little better.

Sniper unit: How the bloody hell did you know about that?  
0031: Ah, well, unit 1197.

The Spy looked curious now as well.

Spy unit: Another robot?  
0031: Well, yes. There was a Spy unit present during the, er, event in question. They transmit video signals back to Herr Gray, und I saw what happened.  
Spy unit: Ah. Engineer, why have you not said anything about the robots having cameras before?

Herr Engineer's fingers curled into fists. His voice stayed calm though, and he didn't look at the Spy.

E-001: Didn't think about it until just now. I found out right after I was about to get my memory erased see, so I had other stuff on my mind.  
Spy unit: But you designed the robots.  
E-001: Hell, Spy, d'you think Gray wouldn't be able to modify them to suit his own needs? The man knows his stuff; he don't need me just to add a camera, and I did not originally include recording equipment in any of them.  
Sniper unit: Wait, Gray was gonna erase your memory? He can do that?  
E-001: Reckon so. He was gonna try anyways.

Everyone was quiet for a moment. I spun my wheel a little. It occurred to me how nice it would be if the Sniper and the Spy would leave so I could go take care of Drei and feel less uncomfortable about how bad I was at conversing with humans. They didn't leave. Spy was watching us very hard with an expression I was unfamiliar with, though I didn't like it much.

Spy unit: Forgive me if I seem tactless, but isn't that a rather serious oversight on your part?

The Sniper pushed off the wall a little and looked at the Spy with more interest than he had displayed before.

Sniper unit: How d'you reckon?  
E-001: Yeah, Spy. I want to hear this.

The aggression in Herr Engineer's voice was unmistakable. The Spy did not change his tone of voice.

Spy unit: I only mean that we might have approached certain situations differently had we known that the robots could be transmitting our movements to Gray, perhaps without their knowledge.

He stared very hard at Herr Engineer, who did not like that much I think. He drew himself up to his full height even though that was not so much.

E-001: You listen here, if Gray were tracking us through me or through Thirty-One, we'd know already. There ain't no way he'd wait this long to use information like that against us.  
Spy unit: I am not saying it is likely. I am saying it is a possibility that needs to be taken into account.  
Sniper unit: Well... maybe, but wouldn't Gray know just about anything he wanted already if they were bugged?  
Spy unit: Possibly.  
Sniper unit: And what about when we were getting the Engineer out of his place? He'd have headed them off before they got to us if he'd been able to see where they were, right?  
Spy unit: Most likely.  
E-001: So it don't look like either of us are bugged, does it Spy?

The Spy shrugged. I made a throat-clearing noise because I did not like how agitated my friend was getting.

0031: Please, Herr Engineer, it is objectively a very gut thing to think of such possibilities, ja?

Herr Engineer shifted his weight and relaxed slightly.

E-001: Sorry. Just been on edge lately.  
Spy unit: Mmm. You are worried that we do not trust you any longer, perhaps?

Herr Engineer did not answer. The Spy chuckled and turned toward the doorway, flicking his cigarette to the ground as he did so.

Spy unit: I sympathize with you all too much, my metal friend. Good day.

He left. The Sniper rolled his eyes and put his hands in his pockets.

Sniper unit: Bloody spook.  
E-001: Yeah. What you said.

It was quiet again. Neither of them really wanted to look at the other one. Finally the Sniper spoke.

Sniper unit: Should probably let you blokes get packed.  
E-001: We don't got a whole lot with us. Gray's got all my stuff that I took with me.  
Sniper unit: Right. Well, later on tonight when you're ready to get packed in, we should have a drink. Or I'll drink, and you can have a few bills or whatever the bloody hell you run on now.

Engineer laughed a little bit.

E-001: You not worried about me broadcasting the inside of your van to an ugly old bastard from Europe?  
Sniper unit: I reckon he's got better things to worry about than what happens when I get drunk. See you Truckie.

He left. I relaxed, which was odd because I did not even know that I was very tense.

0031: You... don't think we are bugged, do you?  
E-001: Hell if I know. Sniper brought up some good points anyhow, and I figure it ain't too likely.  
0031: Mm, maybe it is not.  
E-001: Just you worry about getting Drei and her food packed and ready, all right? I'll let Frenchie be paranoid about Gray for once.

He patted me on the shoulder before setting to putting up the few tools he had left. It seems to me that he is much more cheerful at the moment, perhaps because of the Sniper not hating him.

Part of me wants to be concerned about the possibilities that the Spy brought up. I do not like the thought of Herr Gray seeing my new friends and knowing that I have been consorting so closely with the other humans, or of him using what I have seen to harm them in any way. I am doing my best to not continue processing the matter though. That will do no one any good.

Drei is packed now, and I am waiting by the door for Herr Engineer. I can only hope that this Miss Pauling does not find us.

/entry_5


	6. Chapter 6

entry_6

1241 hours, Saturday, February 3, 1973.

We are in transit to the next base. The Sniper's van is small with a good many seats in the way of where one might want to walk, and there is a fold-out table in the wall that keeps falling down every time the Sniper hits a bump in the road. Herr Engineer does not seem comfortable with how tightly we are packed in. I do not mind it much, though if I were to move around it would be difficult to maneuver. That is one reason I am remaining seated. The other reasons are that I would probably fall over and hit myself against everything if I got up while the vehicle was in motion, and I am dented enough as it is.

It is odd; I did not used to need to keep myself occupied as much as I do now. On the long tank rides, I would never see anything wrong or unpleasant with sitting still for hours on end, but that was when I was still a combat medic. Now I have only sat for thirty minutes and seventeen seconds, and there is a compulsion in me to do something to keep busy. I was not sure what this something was, which is why I began recording more in this journal. It is helpful, but I am running out of things to record about, and Herr Engineer told me to shut up when I tried to talk with him. I think he is worried about being overheard, even if that is a little silly.

That reminds me that there was something that happened before we left, of course, which is that Miss Pauling arrived. I was able to hear her conversation with the Sniper through the window, which was a little bit open. Her voice is curious to me in that it is higher in pitch than any of the human voices I am accustomed to hearing. That is probably due to her being female; I believe the Administrator Herr Engineer talks about sometimes is also female, and I used to hear her voice over the speakers on the battlefield. Her voice still wasn't as high pitched as Miss Pauling's though.

But yes, the conversation was interesting, so I will record that too. It started with just the Sniper sounding angry but being too far away for me to make out what he was saying. As they drew nearer to the van I was able to decipher the conversation.

foreign entity(assign name="Miss Pauling"): I know I said this was a routine equipment check, but she wanted--  
Sniper unit: I don't bloody CARE what the Administrator wanted! Neither one of you is about to invade my privacy just because the old-- I mean, I don't want anyone poking around in my business.  
Miss Pauling: I understand that, Sniper, but I'm not going to be doing anything besides making sure your van is up to the trip. Trust me on this; the last thing I want to do is make you uncomfortable. And I'm checking tire pressure and oil for all of the vehicles, not just yours.  
Sniper unit: (unintelligible grumbling noises) I can do that meself. I don't need nobody poking around under the hood. Besides it ain't like it's a company van. It's MINE.  
Miss Pauling: Well you know how the Administrator gets about things like this. She wants me to do all of them. It's not that she doesn't trust your judgment, it's just...

It was quiet for a moment. Herr Engineer and I glanced at each other before I slowly raised myself up to glance out the window. I could just see her standing beside the Sniper through the blinds. I was surprised to see that she was even shorter than Herr Engineer and thinner than the Scout. Her clothing was not a uniform like those of the mercenaries. I tried to get a better look except then Herr Engineer crossed the back of the van to pull me back down.

Sniper unit: I take good care of my van.  
Miss Pauling: I'm sure you do. Here, you can watch and make sure I don't do anything you don't like if that makes you feel better.  
Sniper unit: ...fine. I still don't like it though.

They walked off to check the functionality of the Sniper's van. Herr Engineer let go of me.

E-001: You're gonna get us found out.  
0031: I was only curious, und they were preoccupied with their conversation. She would not have--  
E-001: I don't care. You keep your head down and your mouth shut for the rest of the trip, or we're going to be in trouble.

I made a sighing noise and shut the window all the way. We could hear muffled voices as they walked back around, then Miss Pauling's voice became faint. She must have walked away. The Sniper opened the back of the van.

Sniper unit: Bad news. Everywhere else is full up, so if Miss Pauling wants a seat belt she'll be sitting with me up front.  
E-001: (groan) There's got to be somewhere else. You could switch with somebody.  
Sniper unit: Sorry mate, but that's how it is. There ain't no connection between the back and the front so it's unlikely she'll hear you or nothing.  
E-001: Yeah, that makes me feel loads better.

Sniper smiled a little bit and then left. I settled myself into the seat, and I've been sitting there still and quiet until now.

The folding table just fell down again. It made a very loud noise this time; I do not know why Herr Engineer keeps putting it back

No, we are stopping.

I do not think the noise was from the table.

/entry_6


	7. Chapter 7

entry_7

1607 hours, Saturday, February 3, 1973.

I am shaking quite badly so that I can hardly speak. This is bad, the very worst thing that could have happened to us, and I cannot help but think it is my fault.

The Sniper pulled the van to a stop soon after the loud noise had sounded, the one mentioned at the end of the previous entry. The vehicle jerked so sharply that Herr Engineer slid out of his seat a little, and I had to hold onto Drei's box so she would not end up on the floor. The noise happened again several times in quick succession. I tried to look out the window again.

E-001: Keep down!  
0031: Herr Engineer, those are gunshots.  
E-001: I know! That don't mean you have to look!  
0031: But what if they need our--  
E-001: Our presence ain't gonna help no one, trust me!

I began to slide down below the window though I did not like the idea of not seeing what was happening outside. Before I was down all the way though, I saw Miss Pauling and the Sniper run around the front of the van. Both were armed. Miss Pauling was shouting into a large rectangular device I could only assume was a telephone. I paused.

E-001: Didn't you hear what I said?  
0031: Please Herr Engineer, I want to keep informed of the situation. What if our attackers come to the van? It would be best to be prepared, ja?

He didn't say anything, so I kept watching. The Sniper kept running, hesitated briefly, then threw himself to the ground. A bullet hit the side of the van. I didn't observe where the bullet came from, but Miss Pauling turned to see where it had gone. I had to stoop to make sure she did not see my head through the blinds. Both of their voices raised as soon as I was out of sight. It sounded as though they might have been running nearer to us.

E-001: Dammit, did she see you?  
0031: No, I don't think so.  
E-001: Then why--

The van rocked sideways as though impacted by a large mass. Drei did fall onto the floor that time. I could hear her flapping and making distressed noises through her box's lid.

0031: Was geschieht?

Herr Engineer muttered something that was probably cursing and scrambled backward toward the door. I did not trust myself to stand, not in the tumultuous environment that was rapidly gripping my surroundings. The thing, whatever it was, hit the side of the van again. I could hear the Sniper shouting outside, sounding panicky, and shots that might have come from Miss Pauling's gun. Then I heard another voice.

A voice like mine.

It seems so obvious in retrospect; who else would have set an ambush for us?

Herr Engineer wrenching open the door brought me back to my senses. I scooped up Drei's box and pulled out my saw before balancing precariously on my wheel, little though I wanted to. I glimpsed the dull gleam of sheet metal over Herr Engineer's shoulder, sheet metal of the same quality and color as he was. Two pairs of glowing blue optics glared at us from two mechanical faces.

Mein Gott, I must be shaken. These descriptions sound almost like something a human would write.

Heavy Weapons unit 1266 drew back from where he had been about to pound on the van again. The other robot was Pyro unit 0805, and its flamethrower was raised toward us. Both myself and Herr Engineer paused. 1266 raised his voice.

1266: WE HAVE FOUND THEM! THEY ARE IN LITTLE VAN!

Herr Engineer jumped out and ducked underneath 1266's arm. He and 0805 turned to follow his progress, which gave me time to lower myself clumsily over the bumper and onto the ground. Drei flapped harder as I raced out of reach. 0805 spun toward me so that I had to skip back even farther, away from his fire and 1266 and, unfortunately, Herr Engineer as well. 0805 only watched me instead of advancing. I set Drei down on the ground and readied my saw, watching to see what the other robots would do.

1266's enormous arm swung out in an attempt to loop around Herr Engineer's chassis. He jumped to the side out of the larger robot's reach, then delivered a blow with his wrench to 1266's elbow joint. It bent back on itself. That is something a Heavy unit's elbows are not supposed to do.

He shouted and swung his other fist toward Herr Engineer's head. His injured arm swung at his side, the joint jammed into the incorrect position. Herr Engineer was forced to retreat again, away from me and the van.

I had my own trouble to worry about. 0805 advanced, apparently under the impression that my attention was absorbed by the fight, and sent another burst of fire at my face. I jerked backward before it could sustain any damage. It was most unfortunate that I did not have my syringe gun; I had forgotten it during the rescue from Herr Gray's headquarters. Trying to fight a Pyro at close range is not a good idea, to put it lightly, but when one is only armed with a melee weapon there is little choice. I circled around 0805, trying to lure it away from the box holding Drei. It did not seem willing to attack just then though. It kept its face to me, watching for me to make some mistake.

A scream that I only just recognized as being Herr Engineer's rang out through the air. It directed my attention to the fight just in time to see 1266 rip his jaw from his face.

0805 tried to burn me again. I slammed the saw down on its arm and sped around it toward my friend, ignoring the slight pain signals registering from my side. Human shouts were mixing with the robotic ones; several of both were drawing near to us. I did not process them at the time.

Herr Engineer went rigid, apparently shocked, then pulled the Heavy unit's bad arm out as straight as it could go. 1266 didn't have much warning or time to react. The smaller unit pulled, turning and dropping his weight at the same time, so that gravity and his own momentum worked against 1266. He crashed to the ground just as I arrived at Herr Engineer's side, but I needn't have bothered. 1266 had barely touched the ground when Herr Engineer was on top of him, jamming his wrench's handle down into the weak point where the neck connected to the head. 1266 jerked and shouted. Herr Engineer shoved it deeper, and the shouting stopped abruptly. He didn't move anymore.

Before I had time to say anything, a blast of air sent me hurtling sideways so I crashed into the van. 0805 was bearing down on the two of us. It sent a steady stream of flame making the Pyro unit barely visible from my vantage point. Herr Engineer jumped up and ran at it, sparks flying from the disconnected wires at his jaw's joint. 0805 shifted its trajectory just slightly, turning so it could keep Herr Engineer in his sights as well. It was all that I needed.

I skidded forward, skirting around the edge of the fire, and struck the Pyro unit's arm with the saw again. The flamethrower slipped, but 0805 kept its grip. I had to make a quick decision. Dropping my saw, I grabbed its weapon with both hands and wrenched it to one side with all of my strength. 0805 didn't like that and had to focus its attention completely on me, jerking and twisting the flamethrower as it made its incoherent shouts of frustration. It rocked me dangerously on my wheel so that I was constantly in danger of losing my balance. Herr Engineer could not approach as the fire flashed in an almost unpredictable pattern. I thought for certain that this fight could not end in our favor.

Demolitions unit: OUT OF THE WAY LADS!

The bellow caught me off guard. I looked up in time to see the human Demoman charging at us. Ah, I am being literal here; he was charging and not simply running quickly, charging with a shield and sword as though hoping to make impact against something with the force of a small truck. I let go of the flamethrower in surprise, which to my alarm was the only thing keeping me upright. I fell backward to the ground. 0805 didn't seem to have noticed the shout. Seeing that I was incapacitated it turned on Herr Engineer.

The Demoman bashed into it with his shield, and now it was the Pyro unit that flew backward into the van. The sword raised high over the human's head. 0805 lifted its flamethrower, head tilting as though confused as to what was happening. It was the last thing the robot did before the sword cleaved through the top of its head, splitting the metal with a terrible electric hissing and a shower of sparks.

I tried to push myself up while scanning the area for other foes. There were no other robots standing besides Herr Engineer but many destroyed metal shells. I turned my attention back to the Demoman.

0031: Danke.  
Demolitions unit: Stop moving and stay quiet.

I hesitated, confused. Herr Engineer stooped next to the fallen 1266 to retrieve his displaced jaw. As I watched, the Demoman sent a kick to his back so he went sprawling over the destroyed robot. Herr Engineer gave a shout, though it was distorted from the destruction inflicted by the Heavy unit.

E-001: What... dammit--!  
Demolitions unit: I GOT ALL OF 'EM OVER HERE, MISS PAULING!

Herr Engineer froze. I turned my head just slightly to see the Sniper and the woman in question approaching, both looking quite harried. I went as still as I could, hoping that she would not notice the glow of my eyes. Fortunately Miss Pauling's eyes were on her gun as she reloaded it.

Miss Pauling: Great, but Spy says there's more on their way, mostly Scouts with some heavier classes sprinkled in.  
Sniper unit: Bloody...

He was looking down at myself and Herr Engineer. Demoman stared at him pointedly as though trying to convey information through his expression alone. I tried to keep looking dead instead of watching him.

Demolitions unit: I got those ones meself just now. Put up a fight, they did, but they were no match for the Eyelander in the end. 

Sniper nodded in comprehension, shoulders relaxing, before he glanced back to his companion.

Sniper unit: How's it looking for us Miss P? Any casualties so far?  
Miss Pauling: *sigh* Medic's had his hands full keeping everyone alive, but no. We can't hold out for much longer, not if Gray's sending more troops our way. We have to keep moving.  
Demolitions unit: Er... what would happen if we were to have any casualties? We haven't been attacked on the run before.

He sounded slightly nervous. Miss Pauling looked up from her gun.

Miss Pauling: We'd have to go back and get you from the last base. The Administrator seems to think that Gray knows where you were stationed last, so basically you could be materializing right into a trap.  
Sniper unit: Right. How's about we go round up the others then, eh? I don't fancy getting me head blown off while we stand here chatting.  
Demolitions unit: You two go on ahead. I need to clean the oil off this.

He hefted his sword. Miss Pauling and the Sniper left, and he relaxed.

Demolitions unit: God I need a drink. Ye owe me one, Dell.

He helped Herr Engineer to his feet and frowned at his marred face. Herr Engineer held his dislodged jaw up for him to see.

E-001: ...metal... son of... ripped off...  
Demolitions unit: Cripes, why are ye still talking boyo? That's only got to make it worse!  
0031: Ah, n-not necessarily. A jaw on a r-r-robot is mostly useless for t-talking.

Both jumped and stared at me as though they had forgotten I was there, which they probably had. Herr Engineer offered me a hand up.

0031: D-danke.  
Demolitions unit: All right there lad? You're shaking like a leaf in a gale.  
0031: O-oh I am f-fine. Only... I d-do not know h-how to prop-perly describe the s-sensation.

I retrieved Drei's box partly so I would not have to look at either of them. Herr Engineer's face sparked a little, and the Demoman sighed.

Demolitions unit: Let's get ye packed into the van before she comes back, all right? We can get ye fixed up later.

Herr Engineer nodded, and the human helped us into the vehicle. Fortunately the van hadn't been badly damaged by the Heavy unit's barrage.

E-001: ...thanks.  
Demolitions unit: *shrug* We're teammates, aren't we? Just try to keep yourself out of harm's way from now on, if ye can help it.

He shut the door. Herr Engineer and I did not speak for a long time. Even when the van started moving we said nothing; I assume he had much on his mind to process, just as I did. Do, I mean. We are still in the process of getting to the next base.

Herr Engineer's jaw is nothing. His speech will be fine once we identify which wires have been pulled loose, and then we can reattach the jaw whenever he has time for it. What I am concerned about is Herr Gray.

I know his process. If he is sending out robots for us, he is not going to stop just because his first attempt to take us was unsuccessful. And though I have not been able to communicate with anyone for more information on our current predicament, it would not surprise me if they were still giving chase. There has been no gunfire or other interruptions of course, but that is more of a source of concern than if they had been firing at us. It means that Herr Gray is thinking of a different way to approach this, and what that is I am uncertain. He is a highly competent human, a decisive leader, and perhaps even more intelligent than Herr Engineer in some ways. Predicting his every action would not be an easy feat.

I only know that whatever plans he has will not end well for us.

/entry_7


	8. Chapter 8

entry_8

2117 hours, Saturday, February 3, 1973.

When I said last time that Herr Gray chasing us was the worst thing that could happen, I was wrong.

We are besieged in the base.

I thought we had escaped Herr Gray. Everyone thought we had outrun him. Dummkopf that I am, why didn't I just think for once? I know him better than the others, even better than Herr Engineer, so how was I content to think he wouldn't plan ahead in case giving chase wasn't enough? It should have occurred to me that he might have split his forces! And why did they think they could keep the new base's location secret from him anyways? He is a genius; of course he was going to figure it out!

At the moment the forces outside of our boundaries are mostly Spy and Sniper units. They are well-hidden in the trees, as our new base is located further north of the old one and in a forest instead of a desert. We did not even find out they were there until the vehicles were inside the walls and Soldier tried to leave, presumably to scope out the surrounding territory as I have been informed is a custom of his. Herr Engineer and I were still in the van waiting for Miss Pauling to leave when the shot rang out. Everyone outside was cursing and yelling loudly in an instant, and despite Herr Engineer's impending disapproval I re-situated myself to look through the van's blinds again.

The Soldier was lying on the ground in the gate. Red fluid leaked from a puncture in his chest and pooled around him on the ground. He was still moving, but it did not look like he would be able to function for long. Even as I watched the Scout and the Spy dragged him back from the space in the gate, leaving a long and quickly darkening smear behind him on the asphalt. The Scout yelled something over his shoulder, and the Medic sped into my field of view with his Medigun in hand. I pushed myself up further to look, intrigued, but my attention was diverted.

E-001: ...look.

Herr Engineer had moved beside me, perhaps to try to make me move again, but now his gaze was on the trees outside of the chain-link fence. He was pointing to a space I estimated to be 2.3 meters off of the ground and to the left of the gate, where two points of blue light shone out of the shadows. I could not make out the silhouette of the sniper through the pine tree's needles, and the lights quickly drew back to be hidden from view entirely. But in that instant it was as though my processor started a search for anything similar in the area, and the eyes of my brethren popped out at me from under every tree and from many of the branches. Most were disappearing into the shade to hide as the first had done, the thin shadows that I could make out sinking back to where they were indistinguishable from the tree trunks. A few stayed at their posts however, lights glinting down at us like the LEDs of security cameras. In a way this was quite accurate; the few that were close enough to recognize were surely Spies, which meant that even at that moment they were sending images of our movements back to Herr Gray.

0031: This is bad.

Herr Engineer didn't reply. I turned my attention back to his teammates. Soldier was sitting up now, though Medic still had the beam from the gun aimed on him. The others were looking to the trees as we had been. They were not yelling anymore, perhaps because they were afraid. The thought made me feel odd; they are not often afraid. Miss Pauling stood apart from them with the blocky communication device in her hand. She kept speaking into it, pulling it from her ear with a grimace, hitting it with her hand, and speaking into it again. The ritual didn't seem to be improving the functionality of the telephone.

After three minutes Herr Engineer motioned for me to get down again. I complied.

It was only after 29 minutes and 3 seconds had passed that the Sniper came to the van to give us news. Herr Engineer stood as soon as he opened the door.

E-001: Well...?  
Sniper unit: You know what happened?  
E-001: Yeah...out through...blinds.

The Sniper sighed and shook his head.

Sniper unit: Looks like Gray's got us surrounded, so far as we can see. They're not firing on us or nothing, not so long as we're inside the fence from the looks of things.  
E-001: Any...why?  
Sniper unit: Well... Heavy reckons they might be trying to take us alive. That shot at Soldier might've been a warning shot. It's kind of strange they didn't aim for his head anyhow.

I took Drei out of her box and petted her back. It made me feel better, because I had just thought of something unpleasant.

0031: Ah... there is another possibility, perhaps.

Both of them turned to me. It struck me at that moment how different robotic faces like Herr Engineer's and my own are from human faces like the Sniper's. A small crease formed between the man's brows, and the corners of his mouth turned down with a subtlety of movement I have never seen replicated in the un-pliable metal of a machine. Herr Engineer's face did not move at all, especially now that his jaw was missing. It was a curious juxtaposition.

Sniper unit: What's that?

0031: Well, might he be trying to hold us stationary until the main bulk of his forces rejoins these? It would be much easier to take us alive if he had us outnumbered with larger, stronger robots. Spies und Snipers are for neutralizing units one by one; they are not gut at taking bases by force.

The Sniper frowned more and rubbed the eyes behind his glasses.

Sniper unit: God I hope not. I've had enough of these bleeding trashcans for a lifetime.  
0031: Trashcans?

I was unsure as to whether I should take offense, but Herr Engineer interrupted at that moment.

E-001: ...bout... Pauling?  
Sniper unit: *grunt* Well she can't bloody well leave, can she? She's stuck here with us. It looks like they've got our communications cut off, so no contacting RED or the Administrator. No outside help, but on the other hand she can't tell on you until we get out of this.  
0031: So in the meantime what will Herr Engineer und I be expected to do? Where will we stay?  
Sniper unit: For now you ought to stay right where you are. She could still potentially get through to the Administrator at some point; there's no avoiding that. We'll try to get you moved to inside the base soon as we get the chance, but for now...

He kept shifting his weight a very little bit. I thought he looked nervous, and Herr Engineer did also.

E-001: ...that ain't... dammit, ain't all... is it?

The Sniper shrugged.

Sniper unit: Well, it's just some of the others reckon Gray found out where we are cause maybe you're bugged.

This did not make Herr Engineer happy.

E-001: Stupid... son of a... RED Engineer... looked over...  
Sniper unit: I told them mate, I really did, but they're still suspicious. Just stay put until tonight, we'll get you moved, and then we'll talk it over with everyone. In the meantime get your face fixed up. Them sparks are going to catch something on fire.

Herr Engineer sat back down rather abruptly, in a fashion that I thought signified he was upset. The Sniper looked like he was going to say more things, but instead he clapped him on the shoulder and left the back of the van.

I think we will be leaving the van soon. I have had time to patch Herr Engineer's wiring and am about to reconnect his jaw. It is a very good thing to have something to occupy my hands with at the moment. It is easier to feel that everything is following a preset schedule and that we have the situation controlled that way.

Nevertheless Herr Gray is still coming for us. It is because of my treachery, I know it. I have been a very bad robot indeed, and yet I continue to help Herr Engineer and his teammates. It is a terrible thing, to choose one's friends over one's Maker, but really what choice did I have at the time? I was becoming too aware of myself to stay with Herr Gray. Perhaps this is a fault of mine. Perhaps it would have been better if I had been reset or decommissioned instead of leaving the role I was made to fulfill. At the same time though, I cannot pretend that I do not like Herr Engineer's company. He thinks about things, and he will talk with me about these things sometimes, and it is just very pleasant to have someone there who feels like an equal.

It is a pity that he will be human again before long.

/entry_8


	9. Chapter 9

entry_9

0203 hours, Sunday, February 4, 1973.

The Sniper was kind enough to join us in the back of the van tonight as we waited for the news. I think Herr Engineer appreciated this very much, especially once we no longer had jaw repairs to keep us busy. It was cramped, but they acted as though they didn't mind. In fact they were in the middle of a game of cards when the others came to fetch us.

The Medic was there when the Sniper opened the back door, with the Heavy and the Pyro standing just a little bit behind him. It seemed odd to me that they sent three of their own when one would have sufficed, but I didn't say anything about it. I only tucked Drei into her box and set her down next to me.

Sniper unit: You got something worked out?  
Medic unit: I would hardly be here if we didn't. Und I would recommend that you bring your van closer to the base; there is too much open area to cross to get out here.  
E-001: Hell Medic, since when do you care about safety?  
Sniper unit: Reckon he's just feeling grumpy. You have to stop in the middle of a dissection for us?  
Medic unit: I am NOT grumpy! I am simply--  
Heavy weapons unit: We have area ready in surgery for you to stay. Doktor is right; it is bad to stand outside long now.

The Sniper grinned.

Sniper unit: Oh that's why you're grumpy, is it? Don't want to share your room?  
Medic unit: (scoff) The surgery in this base is certainly big enough for the three of us, I assure you, und keeping Miss Pauling out should be a simple matter.

I had my own thoughts as to why the Medic might be irritable about Herr Engineer and myself staying near him in the base, but I kept those to myself.

0031: Ah, so. So are we ready to leave?

Herr Engineer tossed the cards he had been holding onto the table before rising from his seat.

E-001: It ain't like I've got nothing to bring in besides my toolbox. See you Sniper.  
Sniper unit: See you Truckie.

We climbed out through the back and into the open air, where I was able to take better notice of our surroundings. It was almost overwhelming at first; I had never been among so many trees before, and they were all so BIG! Their branches obscured the sky all round except for one big patch directly over us. Looking up to see the stars like many bright sparks shining their white lights at us made me feel odd. It is difficult to explain the sensation precisely, but it was almost as though for the first time I was realizing what a small powerless thing I was when compared to the entire world. I edged closer to Herr Engineer, still looking up, except then Pyro squeezed in between us and grabbed his hand. I backed away again and regained control of myself. The Pyro gave me one inscrutable look before it and Herr Engineer pulled ahead. The Medic was well in front of us already, apparently eager for the protection of the building against the world outside. I accelerated a bit.

Heavy weapons unit: What was robot doktor looking at?

I spun around in surprise at the human Heavy's voice. His capability to move quietly despite his bulk is rather alarming.

0031: Ah, nothing much. Just our surroundings.

He nodded slowly.

Heavy weapons unit: Mm. Trees are nice.  
0031: I am not used to them yet to be honest. They are very large.

He frowned at me.

Heavy unit: Large is not bad always. These trees keep sneaky robots hidden now, yes, but Gray will have hard time with tanks and giant robots in forest.  
0031: I am not so sure. Herr Gray is a brilliant man. He very well may find a way through.

We proceeded in silence for three seconds.

Heavy weapons unit: Why do you call Gray 'Herr'?  
0031: Was? Ah, well, Herr is like saying... it is like saying the English 'Mister' I think.  
Heavy weapons unit: I know what this word means. That was not my question.

I slowed down and looked up at his face. It was hard to tell in the dark with my limited knowledge of human faces, but it seemed likely that he was not looking at me in an angry or overly suspicious way.

0031: Well... it is mostly out of respect. He built me und took care of me for all of my functioning existence until the past several weeks after all. I owe everything that I am to him.  
Heavy weapons unit: (grunt) This is also why you say Herr Engineer, da?  
0031: Somewhat, yes. He made the first versions of the designs which led to my construction. It is also because he prefers I do not call him by his serial number, und I respect that.  
Heavy weapons unit: So you respect Engineer, but you helped to make him a robot also.  
0031: Exactly. Why do you ask?

He tilted his head and gave me a look that confused me. It was certainly not like any expression Herr Gray had worn before, not in my presence at any rate.

Heavy weapons unit: I think little metal doktor would do better if he forgot about Gray.

I stopped and looked at him very hard. My fists clenched without me telling them to.

0031: Oh? Und why is that, exactly?

But the Heavy only shook his head and was silent. He did not even stop walking, so I had to follow him again. I kept watching him, wanting him to give some clue as to why he would say something so outrageous. Suggesting that I forget about Herr Gray... but, yes, anyways, he did not say more about that. He did say something that distracted me though after a moment as he looked at me over his shoulder.

Heavy weapons unit: I thought you had bird, like Medic.

I pulled up short.

0031: Ach, I am an idiot. I left Drei in the Sniper's van.  
Heavy weapons unit: Sniper can bring bird in the morning.  
0031: Nein, tell the others to wait for me. I will not take long.

The Heavy frowned again, but I turned back without any hindrance from him. I moved swiftly, not wanting to keep them waiting for long.

When I reached the van and knocked, the Sniper answered looking annoyed. There was a loud agitated flapping coming from in the van behind him.

Sniper unit: Forget something?  
0031: Er, yes. I am sorry.

He handed me Drei's box, and she quieted down immediately.

Sniper unit: Right, maybe now I can get some sleep.  
0031: Ja, ja, sorry again for disturbing you.

He shrugged and shut the door, leaving Drei and me alone together outside. I turned and raced along in hopes of rejoining the others before I had been gone for every long. I did not want them to be annoyed with me than they were already.

A noise like 'psst' stopped me.

I didn't really want to look around. It was dark, I was so far behind the others, and I really just wanted to shut down until the morning. But I looked around anyways.

The fence was approximately 3.1 meters away, much closer than I had anticipated. It was open asphalt then dirt with grass to that point, and right outside the chain links the enormous tree trunks stood like the legs of the giant robot Soldiers I would sometimes heal on the battlefield. At first I could see nothing else.

Then the 'psst' happened again. Something moved near the fence, somewhat beneath my eye level, and I saw a set of glowing blue optics.

A Scout unit was watching me. As soon as he realized I was watching him back, he stuck one thin arm through the links of the fence to beckon me toward himself.

I turned and sped after the others as quickly as I could. My processor buzzed almost audibly with this new data. I did not understand.

I hardly paid attention to what I did when I rejoined the others. I made my excuses for seeming flighty, we got inside the base and inside the surgery without any further delays, and I set Drei's box out of the way. Herr Engineer is watching me now because I keep shaking. He continues to ask me if I am all right and I continue to tell him that I am. He will shut down soon, and the Medic unit has already gone into his office. I do not know if I want to shut myself down though, because I do not understand.

That was unit 0396. Scout unit 0396.

I killed him in my old workshop on January the 18 of this year.

/entry_9


	10. Chapter 10

entry_10

1341 hours, Sunday, February 4, 1973.

Everyone met in the surgery this morning while Miss Pauling was taking a shower so that we might discuss our current situation. It made me anxious; the mercenaries were all so loud, especially the Soldier who cheerfully declared that we were "backed into a corner" and "should face death like those good men in that trench I dug for that war I fought in", and the Medic's office is a relatively small enclosed space with walls that bounce noises around so they seem amplified twofold. The experience made me cringe. Perhaps the sensation was similar to what Herr Engineer felt when we were in transit on the tanks, something he referred to as "claustrophobia." Maybe the sounds reminded me too much of the shouts on the battlefield when we were still enemies. Either way they were sufficient to drive me from the conversation and leave me leaning against the wall, watching a small animal crawling along the floor as muddled thoughts of last night's encounter passed through my processor.

It was apparent that 0396 had been repaired after I dismantled him so thoroughly with my bonesaw. The mystery was why. Herr Gray had many robots at his disposal when we escaped, and going back to repair a broken one did not make much sense from a monetary standpoint. Furthermore, such a move would run counter to his method of operations preceding my departure from his base. Robots are mass-produced and put together on assembly lines, calibrated each the same as the next, deferred to repair stations if we have minor operational problems, and discontinued if we can no longer function properly. Herr Engineer and myself were the only exceptions I could think of, and that was because we offered some amount of use in skilled labor outside of the realm of combat. And what good would a Scout unit be when it came to medicine or robotics engineering, or anything that required intelligence for that matter?

Unless, perhaps, Herr Gray hadn't been the one to repair 0396. Was it possible that another robot had reassembled him? Was that why he wanted to contact me, because there was another robot who had his own projects just as I did?

These thoughts kept me entirely preoccupied so that I didn't notice the meeting ended until Herr Engineer interrupted my train of thought.

E-001: Whatcha looking at there?

I jerked upright from where I'd been slouched. Everyone else had left besides the Medic, who was watching us closely from the other side of the room.

0031: Oh. There is a little animal on the ground. I think it is an insect, but it is difficult to tell without getting closer to the floor. Which, as you probably know, I would rather not do given how difficult it is for me to right myself again.

Herr Engineer made a quiet noise like "huh" and stooped where I had pointed.

E-001: Where is it?  
0031: It is by the wall, at the very bottom, crawling alongside its base.

He looked at the indicated spot, then with a movement that was faster than I expected trapped the creature against the baseboard. He stood up and held his closed hand out to me.

E-001: Here you go.  
0031: Oh, danke.

I took the thing in my hand, cupping it so the animal would not get away. Closer inspection revealed that it was small and black and definitely an insect, as I had suspected. I could tell because of the shiny exoskeleton and the multiple legs. I held it up close to my eye so I could see it in more detail.

Medic unit: It is a cricket, Machinenmensch. Don't tell me you've never seen a cricket before.  
0031: Well it is possible that I have, now that you say it. There were sometimes insects in the tanks, but I was always too busy und not wanting to fall to look at them. Organic beings are remarkable, aren't they?  
Medic unit: Some more so than others, yes.  
E-001: Hey doc, Thirty-One's got a little project of his own he did. Did he tell you about it yet?  
Medic unit: A project? What do you mean?  
E-001: Just something that might interest you. Where'd you put Drei?

I pulled my hands away from my eyes so I could look at Herr Engineer.

0031: Ah, she is over here in her box. I placed her by the sink so she would not be stepped on.

I proceeded to the area I had indicated on the counter. The Medic approached slowly, frowning and watching the box with his brows drawn together.

Medic unit: Is this the bird the others were talking about?  
0031: Ja, here.

I lifted the lid so he could see inside. He adjusted his glasses.

Medic unit: Was she injured at some juncture? I see that you have added some sort of life support system to her back.  
0031: Well, it is really just a battery. She, ah, was damaged beyond the ability to function, so I had to modify her so she would be fixed.  
Medic unit: Fixed? Do you mean that you resurrected her?  
0031: That is one way to put it, I think.

The Medic didn't answer immediately but prodded at Drei's back. She ruffled her feathers before shuffling away from his finger on her wheels. He blinked slowly, and his brows rose up toward his hairline. The expression puzzled me.

Medic unit: You brought this bird back to life?  
0031: Is that not what resurrected means? I hope I did not misunderstand you.  
Medic unit: You didn't.

He pulled back from the box. His more familiar grumpy expression crossed his features once more.

Medic unit: Hmm. I suppose that is impressive. For a first project.  
0031: She is my first independent project at least. I had to learn very many things before I was able to do that, und Herr Gray taught me a gut deal of it.

I stopped talking then because Herr Engineer does not like it when I talk about his transplant, which was really my first project of course. As though he knew what thoughts I had in my processor, he interrupted.

E-001: Well, if y'all don't mind, I'm gonna head out.

I almost dropped my cricket. For the first time I noticed voices in the hall. It seemed the others had been waiting for him.

0031: Out? But where are you going?  
E-001: Weren't you listening none during the meeting? I'm gonna see if I can't make contact with RED team. We've got some radios and mics and all; I just need to figure out how to get a signal past whatever Gray's doing to block us.  
0031: But what if you are seen?  
E-001: Only person I've got to avoid is Miss Pauling, and just about the whole team's gonna be there to watch for her.

The Medic rolled his eyes, I think at me. In the future I must remember to pay attention during meetings. Either way I was uncomfortable with the idea of staying in the surgery with the Medic while Herr Engineer left, but I only nodded.

0031: Ah, yes. I hope you manage to contact them.  
E-001: Thanks. Maybe you two could work on my body while I'm out.  
Medic unit: We'll see.

I looked at the Medic cautiously. It seemed he was still adverse to my presence there. Herr Engineer did not act as thought he noticed however. He only nodded to us and left the room. The Medic kept his eyes on the door after he left with a slight frown on his face. I was unsure about what he was looking at. After a few minutes I imitated that noise humans make with their throats sometimes when they are about to say something.

0031: So, er, Herr Medic, would you like to work on Herr Engineer's body as he suggested, or--  
Medic unit: Egh. "Herr Engineer", as you call him, doesn't realize that there is very little to be done at the moment. I can do nothing to speed the process along without risking damage to the tissues, und he has already made it clear that he does not want me to experiment more than necessary.

He crossed his arms and turned to watch me. His brows came close to one another over his eyes again while his mouth turned down at the corners in a pronounced frown. I felt almost as though I were in an inspection and doing badly.

0031: Ah. Well... well, if it were not adverse to you, you could show me how far along it is und explain what we will be doing. I am quite curious as to the process you have thought up.

His frown lessened slightly.

Medic unit: ...I suppose that would be wise, as we are supposed to work together on this particular project. Here.

The Medic spun on his heel. A gurney sat against the wall behind him, pushed there to be out of the way during the meeting I think. Several ice boxes sat on its brushed steel surface, partially covered by a sheet, with the medigun lying next to them. The boxes had brownish stains like those made by dried human fluids, namely blood, which was intriguing. He grabbed the gurney's handles to push it to the room's center.

0031: Oh, you haven't set it up yet?  
Medic unit: Does this look set up to you?  
0031: No, no of course not. I was merely observing, as you said there was not much to do, but--

The Medic rolled his eyes at me again. He stopped moving the gurney.

Medic unit: I don't require assistance to do this, Machinenmensch.  
0031: But, er, perhaps I could--  
Medic unit: I already told you that I do NOT need your help! Is this such a difficult concept for you to grasp?

I felt bad and didn't answer. It didn't seem as though I could do anything without irritating the Medic more.

He bustled around the gurney for a bit while I watched quietly. After a minute he stopped and sighed.

Medic unit: Put the cricket down und I will show you what I am trying to accomplish.

I complied. My cricket scuttled under a cabinet, and I hesitantly took up a position across the gurney from the Medic. He had opened a particularly familiar looking icebox and was in the process of pulling out something long and fleshy. I forgot about feeling bad because I knew what it was.

0031: Oh, the arm has grown much bigger! Und the skin is there und everything now!

Then I remembered the Medic's annoyance and stopped talking. To my surprise it almost looked like he might smile for a moment.

Medic unit: Ja, it has come some ways since you last saw it. The process has been working faster than I originally anticipated.

Encouraged, I looked over the other ice boxes. The knowledge of what was inside the first filled me with a feeling of excitement.

0031: So... so these other boxes, are Herr Engineer's other parts in them?  
Medic unit: Of course. I was fortunate enough to procure all of the tissue samples I needed from RED Engineer before we left our last base. He, ah, had some second thoughts as to my methodology, but I persuaded him in the end. It is for a noble cause after all; no man's comfort should stand in the way of scientific advancement.

I nodded vigorously before I fully processed his last sentence.

0031: I thought we were doing this so Herr Engineer will be human again.

Medic weighed the arm in his hands in a distracted sort of fashion before stowing it carefully back into its box.

Medic unit: Well, yes. That is why he wants us to do it at any rate. Still, the project appeals to me more for the challenge it poses. Just think, Machinenmensch; if you can put a man's brain into a robot, und I can grow an entire body from parts, what else might be possible?

I thought about Herr Engineer's first surgery and nodded again, this time more slowly.

0031: That does make a gut deal of sense. Such advancements are of a great benefit to the whole, und you cannot put one person's comfort over such things. That is what you are saying, ja?  
Medic unit: Ah, yes, I suppose. But let's focus on the project at hand, shall we?  
0031: Oh yes, I am sorry. Please, could you tell me what we are going to do?

The Medic then began to explain to me the process involved. He became quite animated; I have the idea that he very much likes to talk about his work. Given the varied interests of the other mercenaries, I am not sure how often he is able to talk to them about such things. Herr Engineer is certainly capable of understanding it of course, but he does not seem as consumed by such interests as Herr Medic, if that makes any sense. But I digress. Herr Medic explained how he had begun growing the other body parts together under the medigun's beam to save time, so he would be setting them up on the gurney together in a moment. He then elaborated on what it would take to join them together once the process was finished: he would stitch the pieces together as best as he could, then heal them into one body once they were secured. The very last piece to go on would be the head, which would have to have its brain removed at that point.

Medic unit: But of course that takes the process into your category. Engineer would prefer it if you preformed that bit of surgery, seeing that you have done it before.

A bit of his old stiff manner crept back into his speech, and he frowned again. I wondered if he thought I would not be able to take out the brain properly, though that did not make sense. Herr Engineer functions perfectly after all.

0031: It is not so difficult of a surgery, I think. With both of us together it should go, ah, how did Herr Engineer say it... "without a hitch", yes?

Herr Medic peered at me over his spectacles. The frown on his face had changed a bit; he almost looked confused, or perhaps suspicious. But before I could ask why the door burst open, and then he really looked annoyed.

Medic unit: Scout, what are you doing here? We are in the middle of something important!

The Scout walked in with a very large grin on his face as though oblivious to the fact that he was not welcome, which he might have been.

Scout unit: Hey Doc! I ain't here to interrupt or nothin' I swear. Engie just wanted me to get Champ; he's got somethin' he needs help with.  
0031: Oh? What does he require my assistance with?  
Scout unit: Hell, I dunno. Somethin' with wires and buttons and stuff.

Herr Medic's shoulders slumped very slightly.

Medic unit: Does he need him right now? We were discussing an important procedure.  
Scout unit: Yeah, sorry, he said it was kinda important, so I guess that means we should, you know, get going or whatever.

He jerked his head toward the door and gave me a very hard look that I didn't really understand. I moved to follow him.

0031: I will be back soon Herr Medic. Und thank you; I really do enjoy learning about these things.  
Scout unit: Well maybe not soon, he said it might take a while, so bye Doc see ya!

He ushered me out the door and closed it behind him. He stood still and rubbed his hands, looking very pleased about something. Disregarding this, I started down the hall. I didn't hear him move, so I paused and looked back. He still wasn't moving.

0031: Shouldn't we go to help now?  
Scout unit: Nah, Engie doesn't need you. See, I have a better idea, 'cause you know, you and Engie are supposed to be hiding out or whatever. I dunno if they really want you leavin' the surgery. Thing is you said we could hang out sometime, so I figured this would be a good time to play hooky.  
0031: Play...? What does that mean?

Scout rolled his eyes.

Scout unit: It means we go out and do whatever we want for a while, then come back when we're done.  
0031: But what if Miss Pauling sees--  
Scout unit: Oh come on, live a little! Everyone's watching out for Miss Pauling by where Engineer's working! I just thought you might want to go outside and mess around some.

I was going to argue, but then I stopped. An idea came into my processor, a wonderful idea to get some peace of mind. I carefully avoided wringing my hands.

0031: We could go outside?  
Scout unit: I just said that, dumbass, now are you comin' or not?  
0031: Oh, ja, of course. Lead the way.

He grinned and took off so that I had to follow as best as I could in his wake; my stalk is still a bit unstable. We have been sneaking along quietly for a while now and are almost outdoors. Hopefully I can get him distracted so that I can go examine the fence line. With any luck, 0396 will be nearby.

I think it is time to find some answers.

/entry_10


	11. Chapter 11

entry_11

1502 hours, Sunday, February 4, 1973.

I made contact. Mein Gott, I am still so shaky; one of them will certainly suspect something is amiss.

Certainly I cannot tell the humans; few enough of them trust me to any extent at this juncture anyways. And what if they wanted me to spy on Herr Gray for them? Yet still as my processor struggles with the information I have obtained, I feel almost compelled to say something to someone, which is troubling. I simply must think things through on my own. It is a miraculous chance which has been presented to me; I must not ruin it even if in the end I decide it is something that I should not pursue.

But I should start at the beginning if I am to organize my thoughts properly. The Scout and I left the building without incident. We had proceeded to the parking lot containing Sniper's van before he decided we had gone far enough and stopped. I glanced at the chain link fence with the forest just beyond. If I hoped to make contact with 0396, I would need some sort of distraction.

0031: So... so now we are playing hooky, ja? What do we do now?  
Scout unit: Basically whatever we want. Say, you think Sniper's got any cigarettes in his van?  
0031: He might. I do not know if he smokes or--  
Scout unit: Score, I can see a pack through his window! Help me break in.  
0031: Ah, was?  
Scout unit: All you got to do is watch out for Sniper; I've seen my brothers do this like a million times. It'll be a piece of cake.

This seemed very foolish. It took me a good deal of willpower not to ask Scout what watching for Sniper was going to do, as there was no chance of hiding his attempt given the openness of the parking lot, and that should we be discovered Sniper would eventually be able to confront us due to the siege keeping everyone stuck on the base. Nevertheless I just nodded so that he turned back toward the van. It would be silly of me to turn down a decent distraction after all. As he huddled over the keyhole to the vehicle with a paperclip I began to slowly roll myself back toward the fence. He noticed nothing, and I inched across the asphalt closer to the dark spaces between the trees. The fence would still need to be negotiated, but I could worry about that when the time came. I had almost halved the distance between my starting position and my intended destination when we were interrupted.

Sniper unit: OI! What are you doing to my van?!  
Scout unit: Aw crap.

I spun around to see an aggravated Sniper closing in on Scout and the van. Apparently Scout thought that pretending he had done nothing wrong would be easier than running for it because he hastily tucked the clip into his pocket and grinned at the Sniper. I stopped to watch what would happen.

Scout unit: Oh hey! We were just going for a walk, you know, like I thought Champ could probably use some fresh air.  
Sniper unit: Fresh air? He's a bloody robot; what's a robot want with fresh air?

He had, however, slowed his pace and looked over toward me. I waved, trying to seem nonchalant. I may have managed it; it is difficult to tell.

0031: Oh he only meant that he thought I would enjoy seeing the rest of the base. Perhaps it was a bit foolish, but--  
Scout unit: Foolish my ass; you're enjoying yourself out here aren't you?  
Sniper unit: No, he's right. I was just coming out to move the van closer to the building meself. Should have thought to do that earlier come to think of it. Anyways it's a lot safer for everybody if we stick close, especially... what did you say you were calling him again?

Scout rolled his eyes.

Scout unit: CHAMP. I named him Champ.  
Spy unit: That is ridiculous.

Scout jumped approximately .41 meters into the air. Sniper almost lost his balance and spun around, his hands firmly clenching his rifle as the BLU Spy's cloak faded. He was leaning against the van's hood, perfectly at ease. I must say I felt rather unnerved as well.

Scout unit: Don't DO that!  
Sniper unit: What are you on about, sneaking up on people like that?

The Spy smiled to himself as though satisfied with their reactions.

Spy unit: Well, when the Scout departed from our midst I thought it would be best if someone kept an eye on him. Now that you've arrived Sniper, I will take my leave.  
Sniper unit: Oh sure, dump him on me.  
Scout unit: Hey hey hey, I don't need anybody to babysit me.  
Spy unit: Your little foray into the parking lot would say otherwise.  
Sniper unit: Yeah, what were you doing by me van anyways?  
Scout unit: I was just looking! Geez, why do you got to be so suspicious?  
Spy unit: Since when has it ever happened that you "just looking" at something doesn't turn into decidedly more than looking?

I listened to the conversation as the others turned on Scout, and slowly I backed toward the fence. I thought the Spy's gaze flicked toward me once or twice. Either way he made no move to stop me whether he noticed my actions or not. After a few moments I came to a stop as something solid yet flexible blocked my progress backward. I had reached the fence. I stopped to listen to their conversation, hoping they were still distracted.

Sniper unit: How is Stephen a bad name? Least it don't sound like something you'd call a dog, like Champ.  
Scout unit: I named him first! I called it, so that means he's Champ!  
Sniper unit: Yeah, sure. Maybe we can ask him which one he likes better.

For an instant disappointment took me. They would turn and see me, and then I would have to give up my chances of making contact. Who knew how long it would take for me to find another opportunity like this? I prepared to rejoin them at the van, defeated.

Except then something jerked my wheel stalk backward so I fell. I felt the jagged edges of the bottom of the fence scrape against my back, hands clamped just above my wheel, and before I could so much as shout another hand pressed over my speaker. The fence sprang into existence in front of me, nothing but a bit of disturbed earth at its base to show where I had been pulled backward into the forest.

0396 looked at me from where he knelt. The hand that wasn't over my mouth went to his own, a single finger up in the gesture humans use to tell others to be quiet. He was listening. I was still and did the same.

Sniper unit: ...anyone hear that? It sounded like something fell down.  
Spy unit: A better question would be where has the robot gotten to?  
Scout unit: Ugh, seriously? Champ! Champ come on, stop playing around!  
Spy unit: Shh!

Quiet footsteps sounded on the asphalt. They were coming toward us. 0396 let go of my face and motioned for whoever was gripping my wheel stalk to move further back into the dark. Someone much stronger than a Scout unit dragged me backward. I didn't struggle or make any noise but listened carefully as the movements and voices of the humans grew faint. The thick layer of pine needles lining the forest floor swept past my optical receptors as though it were on a speedy conveyor belt. I cringed at the thought of how much dirt might get wedged in my joints after being transported in such a manner. Then, as the branches overhead grew so thick that only small patches of light made their way through to the ground, we stopped. The unit gripping me let go, and I sat up to get my bearings.

There were three robots besides myself in the little clearing. 0396 stood across from me along with another Scout I recognized as 0395. The unit who had dragged me was a Soldier I had watched explode into several large fragments during a rooftop battle not so long ago. 0484 was standing beside me so that I had to look up to see his face. With his eyes covered by his helmet and his arms crossed disapprovingly, he was quite imposing.

0396: Took you long enough. I thought you'd never get the guts to sneak out and see us.  
0031: Ich verstehe nicht. I killed you.  
0395: Correction: you hit him a bunch of times with your saw and took my head off. There's a big difference between not being able to function and being broken beyond repair. You ought to know that Doc.

I sat up a little straighter, a feeling of wariness starting in my head.

0031: Why did you want to meet with me? Und how did it happen that you are all here now? Herr Gray does not regularly repair units as badly damaged as each of you were. I... I thought you were dead.  
0396: Hey hey, we aren't here to get revenge or nothing if that's what you've got going through your head. In fact you're the whole reason any of us are here now anyways.

0395 nodded vigorously in agreement.

0395: Yeah, see like, he didn't think any of us could do what you did. Like how you came up with plans on your own and had your own ideas or whatever. Right now he's got the idea that any robot that lives for long enough will start to get smarter like you.  
0484: AND THAT COULD BE--

0395 jumped while 0396 turned on the Soldier.

0396: Do you have to yell everything moron? The Maker doesn't want the humans knowing we're here, remember?!

0484 glared at 0396, but he continued in a quieter voice.

0484: And that could be an advantage, if we can come up with our very own battle plans and learn how to fight better. Then Master Gray won't have to re-program every maggot on our team any time he wants to change tactics. That's what he said anyways.

I nodded slowly, and inside I was a little bit relieved. They didn't come to me on their own accord to kill me, so that was a good thing. But I was still not entirely satisfied.

0031: That is lovely, but why did you need to talk with me? I...

I stopped and looked down. My hands were wringing themselves again, and I couldn't bring myself to make them stop.

0395: You what?  
0031: I betrayed Herr Gray, if you do not remember. There is no chance that he will want anything to do with me now. I have been a very bad-- no, the worst of all robots. I knew he would want to have me dismantled once he knew that I was the one who... once he knew what I did, und that is why I had to leave.

0396 knelt beside me again.

0396: No no no dude, you've got it all wrong. The Maker ain't mad at you.

I made a scoffing noise.

0395: Seriously, we wouldn't be here if he didn't send us. I mean, it's freaking dangerous to be camping out in human territory like this. He wants you back.

It was silent for a moment. I looked at the Scout, unsure of what to think.

0031: Why?  
0395: Ain't it obvious? He wants you working for him again. It's like he said, older units have like... development, or something. It's why he put us back together; we were the oldest units he could salvage.  
0396: There is something he wants you to do first though.

I turned my attention to the other Scout. 0396 was watching me closely, so I folded my hands in my lap.

0031: Herr Gray wants me to do something? What is it?  
0396: Well, he wants you back, see. The thing is he also wants unit E-001 back.

Despite the seriousness of the conversation I almost laughed. Scoutbots were just as stupid as I remembered, older models or not.

0031: Herr Engineer? Do you honestly think that after his escape I could convince him to return with me? Or are you suggesting that I take on the entire BLU team single handed in an abduction attempt? I am an old robot with many instabilities, und a Medic besides. He did not design me with subjugation in mind.  
0396: He don't need all of the Engineer, genius. If you could trick them, see, find some excuse, something about maintenance or something, you could take the processor out and bring it to us. All Master Gray needs is the brain; he can build the rest.

I turned this over in my head quietly. Part of me balked at the very idea of tricking Herr Engineer, and yet...

0484: HE W-- I mean, he won't be able to do anything if we don't get him back to the humans. They are going to get suspicious.  
0395: Eh, crap, he's right. We need to get him back to the base.

My musings dissolved, and I tried fruitlessly to push myself upright.

0031: Wait, they are all looking for me now. How am I supposed to return without raising suspicions?  
0396: Hell if I know. You're the oldest.  
0031: Oh that is VERY helpful. I would have hoped that-- AGH!

0484 grabbed my arm at this point and pulled me forcibly to my wheel. I tottered for a moment but soon caught my balance once again.

0484: There is no more time for talking private! It is time to return to your post and fulfill your mission!  
0395: Yeah just get back there and wing it. Everything'll work out just fine.

I wanted to protest, to stop them and make them tell me more information about what was happening at the base, but the Scout units were already darting away between the trees. 0484 stayed, but that was only long enough to half-drag me back to the fence and, without so much as a warning, shove me under it again. I lay in the dirt, dazed and with several new scrapes along my plating, as he trundled off into the forest once more. I pulled myself up using the fence.

Sniper unit: Oi, there he is!

Before I had time to look up, the three humans had arrived by my side. Scout immediately leaned against the fence and crossed his arms as though unconcerned.

Scout unit: What did I tell you? He's fine! You guys ought to stop worrying so much about--  
Spy unit: Why are you covered in dirt?

His eyes narrowed. Their gaze flicked from my front to the base of the fence, where there were undoubtedly scuff marks.

0031: I... I was waiting by the fence for you to be done arguing, und something grabbed me from behind. It knocked me down, but I managed to get away just now.

The Spy's eyes narrowed still further, but Sniper looked toward the trees uneasily.

Sniper unit: Everyone get in the van. I'll drive us up next to the base, and then we can all get under cover.

I happily obliged, though I avoided the Spy's eyes the entire time. We arrived back without further incident; I am recording this from the surgery. Herr Engineer is back from what he was doing, but for some reason I am having trouble looking at him in the eye when he addresses me.

I always thought that was a human thing.

/entry_11


	12. Chapter 12

entry_12

1859 hours, Wednesday, February 7, 1973.

I need to talk to Herr Engineer. The only reason I haven't yet is that I do not want to talk to Herr Engineer.

This is extremely frustrating. I have been in the surgery with him and Herr Medic all day. There have been plenty of opportunities for me to speak with him privately, but I cannot gather the... willpower, I suppose, to communicate before Herr Medic returns. I do not understand this at all; before if there was some task that needed to be completed, I would simply do it. There was no deliberation, no question of how I would approach the task unless it was to determine which method had the highest probability of success, and now I am standing here for hours over the gurney and letting every opportunity pass by as though that will keep me from having to speak with him eventually. It is maddening in its futility. Hopefully I will be able to find what discrepancy in my programming is causing this and learn to bypass it.

Though I suppose extraneous factors are to blame as well. It doesn't help that Herr Engineer is entirely focused on the project at hand. Herr Medic and myself are doing most of the work of course; our patient may have eleven doctorates, but he has no training or experience in the medical field save for emergency first aid and the time when he amputated his own perfectly healthy hand for some reason. That does not stop him from being at least as enthusiastic about it as Herr Medic. Which, besides giving me a reason to be hesitant about approaching him about his humanity, goads him away from conversation about anything but his body.

For instance:

E-001: It's really coming together well, ain't it?  
0031: I suppose, though ain't is not actually proper terminology.  
E-001: And it's my business if I want to use improper terminology or not, ain't it? Anyhow like I said, them bones seem to be knitting together just fine. Still ain't any skin over the connective tissue here, but that'll come soon enough I figure.   
0031: Er, ja, the ectoderm und endoderm should be the next things to develop if all goes well. Then we will have to attach it to the main body.  
E-001: Anything I can do to help just now? Make things run faster?  
0031: Well no, it is as Herr Medic said. You cannot just adjust things on living tissue und make the processes happen faster, not if you do not want him to start experimenting with, er, alternative procedures.  
E-001: Yeah... I guess I don't want that. Still, it's gonna be so nice to be myself again.  
0031: But you are yourself now too, are you not? You are simply in a different chassis.  
E-001: You know what I mean. I want to be able to feel things like normal, and eat meals and have that sting in my knuckles when I throw a punch. I miss human stuff.  
0031: About these "human stuffs", Herr Engineer. Do you, ah... do you have a moment to talk? I wish to ask you something privately.  
E-001: Can it wait? I mean, I don't want to distract you from your work.  
0031: Well I did think that maybe since Medic is gone we could discuss--  
Medic unit: (enters loudly) Ha, I have found the extra spray bottles und pipettors! Now we can keep it properly moist!  
E-001: Hot damn! Sorry Thirty-One, let's just talk about it later.

And so forth.

There is also the problem of interruptions. When these arise in the guise of a team member they are troublesome enough; when it is Miss Pauling, the situation is much worse.

Thankfully she only came into the surgery once today, and what is more we had plenty of warning when it happened. We had just started examining the upper right quadrant of the abdominal wall to see how far along it was when the door crashed open. Soldier put down the boot he'd just used to surpass the lock and barged inside, shortly followed by Demoman. Herr Medic said something very impolite in German.

Medic unit: How many times must I tell you--?!  
Demolitions unit: Sorry Medic, I was going to stop him but we've got a wee bit of an emergency--  
Soldier unit: MISS PAULING IS COMING PRIVATE SO GET YOUR SORRY ASS IN GEAR! ALSO I HAVE ALREADY TOLD YOU HOW I FEEL ABOUT LOCKED DOORS IN MY BASE!

Herr Engineer backed away from the gurney in alarm.

E-001: What's she coming here for?  
Demolitions unit: Agh, it's the Scout bothering her. She was half-running down the hall last I saw her with the lad close on her heels.  
0031: He certainly enjoys bothering people, doesn't he?

Herr Engineer ran a hand over his face, then quickly stopped as the humans flinched at the scraping noise it made.

Medic unit: Stop DOING that!  
E-001: Sorry, keep forgetting. But we'd better get out of sight Thirty-One.

I looked up briefly as he steered me backward toward the supply closet. For the first time since I could remember, I almost wished that he had a fleshy face again so I might be able to discern what he was thinking, however clumsy my expression-deducing might be. As it was his gaze seemed fairly intent upon me before he looked back to the door of the closet. It was probably foolishness, but for a moment I thought that perhaps he already knew about the meeting with 0396. It seemed prudent to distract myself, so I turned my attention to the little closet. It could not have been more than 1.5 meters squared in area, even without the supplies in it.

0031: Is that big enough for both of us?  
E-001: Don't really matter, does it? We'll make it work.  
Demolitions unit: You know, it'd have been smart to have thought about hiding places available in the surgery BEFORE Miss Pauling was actually going to show up.  
E-001: Shut your trap; we've been busy.

Footsteps echoed in the hallway, swifter and lighter than the ones that had preceeded Demoman and Soldier. Soldier spun around on his heel and barged into the hall.

Soldier unit: HOLD IT RIGHT THERE MISSY! I NEED TO MAKE SURE YOU ARE NOT A ROBOTIC IMPOSTER!  
Miss Pauling: Soldier, move. I don't have time for this today.  
Medic unit: Why aren't you both concealed yet?!

Herr Engineer grabbed my arm and pulled me into the closet, which was a bit unnecessary as I was already halfway inside. Then he reached forward and pulled the door completely shut so that the only lights came from the bottom of the door and our optical receptors. I could see Herr Engineer watching the back of the door with rapt attention in the dim blue glow. As well as he could given our restricted mobility in such a small space, he leaned his head toward the door to listen. I did the same.

Soldier unit: WAIT-- THAT IS A RESTRICTED AREA MISS PAULING, YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED--  
Miss Pauling: You kicked the door down again?  
Soldier unit: IT WAS LOCKED!  
Miss Pauling: Because it's a restricted area, right? Hello Medic. Hello Demoman.  
Medic unit: Oh hallo Miss Pauling! Und to what do I owe this pleasure?  
Miss Pauling: Nothing, I just thought it would be good to check in on things back here.  
Demolitions unit: Did ye now? From what I saw there was a bit more to it than--  
Miss Pauling: Okay, yes, I'm avoiding Scout. Can you blame me though? He hasn't given me a moment's peace since I got up this morning.  
Demolitions unit: Aye, I understand. Maybe we could convince him to climb the fence and run through the robots.

There was a low chuckle, probably from Herr Medic.

Medic unit: I doubt he would get very far by himself.  
Miss Pauling: I just hope we can get through to the Administrator soon. You guys looked at our equipment, right?  
Medic unit: Yes, yes we did.  
Miss Pauling: And you're sure there's nothing wrong on our end?  
Medic unit: As sure as I can be. Electronic devices of that nature do not fall within the field of my expertise.  
Miss Pauling: (sigh) It's times like this that I wish we still had the Engineer.

Everyone in the room was quiet for a few seconds. Engineer shifted toward the door slightly so he was almost touching it.

Soldier unit: WELL... WELL MAYBE RED WILL COME FIND US SOMEHOW. RED SOLDIER DOES NOT HAVE MY LEADERSHIP SKILLS BUT THEY AREN'T COMPLETELY USELESS.  
Miss Pauling: They have to know where we are. This is the base you were supposed to be moved to anyways. It's just a matter of getting any sort of message out to them so we can coordinate something. It will be a lot easier to get out of here if...

She trailed off.

Demolitions unit: If what, lass?  
Miss Pauling: What if we DID get Scout to climb the fence?  
Demolitions unit: What d'ye mean?

A shadow moved across the bottom of the door. I think Miss Pauling had started to pace in front of it.

Miss Pauling: If Gray's disrupting our communications through outside interference, that's only going to be effective through a certain range, right? So to get a message through we could just have someone break through the enemy lines and make contact from there. We might even be able to hook up a radio on a different frequency to keep in touch with whoever we send out, depending on what sort of interference he's sending our way.  
Medic unit: Hmm... the idea certainly has merit. But do you think Scout would be able to manage that?  
Miss Pauling: Well Scout may be an idiot, but he's not completely incompetent. The Administrator never would have hired him if he didn't know what he was doing. It might be good to see if we can't get Spy to go too, in a different direction, just in case.  
Soldier unit: AND I CAN GIVE THEM BOTH ROBOT LESSONS SO THEY WON'T GET CAUGHT! THIS PLAN IS FOOL PROOF!  
Demolitions unit: Sure ye can, Soldier. And I have to say one thing; convincing Scout to do it shouldn't be any problem.  
Scout unit: Convincing me to do what now? Hey Miss P!

Medic groaned and muttered something I did not hear clearly.

Miss Pauling: Hello Scout.  
Scout unit: Seriously though, what is it you want me to do? I could probably do just about anything you want; I am the BEST at--  
Miss Pauling: ACTUALLY, er, we were wondering if you'd help us make contact with the Administrator.  
Scout unit: HELL yeah I can help with that. What do you need me to do, huh?  
Miss Pauling: Well... here, let's go for a walk and I'll tell you.

Scout sputtered.

Scout unit: Wait wait wait, you're asking ME to go on a walk with YOU?  
Miss Pauling: ...yes. I'll probably regret it, but yes. The smell in here's making me a little nauseous. What is that anyways Medic?

Medic didn't answer immediately. Engineer leaned the side of his head all the way against the door, listening intently. I stood as still as possible. The only sound was Scout babbling giddily, and that was even starting to fade away.

Medic unit: It is a little difficult to explain, Fraulein. Ah, I found some old body parts I had stored und wanted to see if they were still usable, so...   
Miss Pauling: Usable for what? You're not going to be replacing people's ARMS are you? That doesn't seem very practical.  
Demolitions unit: (quietly) Lass, he's left without ye.  
Miss Pauling: Ack, he would. Scout wait up, you forgot me!

We sat very still and quiet in the closet as her footsteps pattered away. I moved my hand down toward the knob, but Herr Engineer grasped my wrist and shook his head just slightly. He didn't let go until someone opened the door from the other side.

Medic unit: She's gone for now.

I cautiously exited the closet, feeling very nervous.

0031: But what if she returns?  
Demolitions unit: Don't worry yourselves about that. Soldier and I can watch out for her until ye think of an excuse to keep her away from here.  
Soldier unit: AFFIRMATIVE! I WILL THINK OF A REALLY BRILLIANT PLAN TO KEEP HER OUT OF THE SURGERY AND IT WILL BE LOVELY!  
Medic unit: Thank you Soldier, now please if you could both leave that would be wonderful.

They both left. Herr Engineer walked over to the door and propped it up against the wall before coming back to the gurney.

0031: I suppose... I suppose we should keep working then, ja?  
E-001: What the hell am I going to do once I'm me again?  
Medic unit: Mmm? What do you mean?

Herr Engineer approximated a sigh, as he often does.

E-001: Me being human again ain't gonna solve the other problems I've dug myself into. I'm still gonna have to hide from the Administrator same as I'm doing right now whether I stay on the base or not.  
0031: Was, you might leave?  
Medic unit: Mmm. Perhaps you should worry about that obstacle once it comes up. In the meantime we have a body to construct, yes?  
E-001: Right. Sorry.

I did not want to continue working after that, for obvious reasons, but there really wasn't much else to be done. Herr Medic is just now trying to determine how long it will be until he can start sewing things together, though, and it seems like he might leave the surgery soon. If he does, well. Herr Engineer's last statement may be the segway I have been waiting for so I can start talking with him about 0396 and options.

Let's just hope he takes it well.

/entry_12


	13. Chapter 13

entry_13

0027 hours, Thursday, February 8, 1973.

He did not take that well at all.

I am shaking right now. It is difficult to comprehend how Herr Engineer can be simultaneously so intelligent and yet so infuriatingly obstinate when it comes to the different options available to him. It is not as though being a machine makes one incapable of happiness or indeed anger, if I am correct in assuming that is what I am experiencing right now. And he certainly seemed angry enough when we finished talking! What is so good about being human anyways? He doesn't dispute that I think and feel, does he? Or has this entire progression of events, him taking me with him when he escaped and standing up to the mercenaries on my behalf included, been a strategy on his part and nothing more? Did he bring me here only because he needs me to maximize his chances of reverting to his original state once again?

Agh, I do not mean these things, I don't think. They are simply residue left over from our discussion. But at the same time I do not think I am overstepping my bounds to be annoyed with him. It was not an ideal conversation, and I didn't even tell him about the robots at all. Given his reaction, that was probably for the best.

It was approximately one hour and ten minutes ago that I breached the subject. Herr Medic had gone to talk with Miss Pauling about a possible attack to distract the robot army from Scout and Spy, and we were cleaning up what mess remained around the operation area. I watched him carefully in an attempt to gauge his mood, hoping that if he was feeling well enough he would be more ready to listen to what I had to say. It didn't tell me much, so I made a throat-clearing imitation.

0031: Ah, Herr Engineer, would you mind if I asked you something?  
E-001: You're askin' me something right now, ain't you?  
0031: Yes. But I mean... this... this body. You are very determined to go back to being human, ja?

He paused and looked me in the face rather intently.

E-001: Well yeah. It's how I was before.  
0031: That is, er, all well und gut, but ah... why, exactly?  
E-001: What d'you mean why?  
0031: Nothing impertinent, I do not wish to offend you at all. It is just that I am curious about what is so gut about being human, exactly. Since, well, you are stronger und faster und less susceptible to pain in this state.

Herr Engineer rocked back on his heels a little, still watching me. I felt a bit nervous.

E-001: Mostly I'm more comfortable with the way I was made to start out with, being able to feel things properly and all. Plus, well.

He crossed his arms and put his head a bit to one side as though evaluating me.

E-001: I don't take kindly to having things forced on me by people like Gray. Or the Administrator, for that matter, which is what got me in this mess to start out with. Being like this is kind of a constant reminder of what he did, and I'll be damned before I settle for that kind of humiliation. So that's a contributing factor.

I think I would have frowned if I could, in that way that humans do sometimes to show that they are thinking hard about something.

0031: Humiliation?  
E-001: Yeah, like being taken down a notch, having someone embarrass you in a way that makes you seem powerless. Let's say Gray decided you weren't any good at your job anymore and made you shine his shoes instead of fixing up the other robots. How would that make you feel?

I was taken aback by this example.

0031: Well, I would continue to do as Herr Gray wished, even if it were something I did not completely enjoy. I would have deserved it.

Herr Engineer shook his head and went back to mopping up a puddle of lymph from the floor.

E-001: Even after he was all set to have you destroyed, you're still loyal to him. If that ain't just...

He didn't finish the sentence.

0031: If that isn't just what?  
E-001: You're not gonna like what I have to say, Thirty-One.  
0031: I trust myself to view the matter objectively. Please continue.

He didn't look up from the puddle he was cleaning.

E-001: You don't owe Gray nothing. He doesn't care about you, and he doesn't deserve this blind devotion you've got to him.

It took me a moment to comprehend exactly what he had said.

0031: Blind... blind devotion? Herr Engineer, be reasonable! He--  
E-001: Made you, I know, but what's he done since then? I've said it before, he don't care about no one but himself.  
0031: That is ridiculous. I--

He straightened up and faced me.

E-001: No Thirty-One, listen to me. He murdered his brothers in cold blood. He sends robots like you out to their deaths day after day without batting an eye, and for what?  
0031: Well... well what about you other humans? All of you kill robots all the time, und you are mercenaries anyways so killing other beings is your job. You are only upset because of what Herr Gray did to you, I think.

Herr Engineer took a step toward me. I wanted to roll back from him a little but didn't.

E-001: Yeah I'm upset about what y'all did to me! Gray knew good and well from the start I'd have qualms against fightin' my own team; he must-a been planning this from the beginning, planning to stab me in the back while I was helping him out. Say what you like about me and the others, but we'd never pull something like that.

I could feel myself starting to shake very slightly.

0031: You turned your back on your team earlier, didn't you?  
E-001: That ain't none-a your business.  
0031: You DID though. How is that any different--  
E-001: None of them are walkin' around in tin cans, are they?! And it didn't have nothin' to do with them anyhow; this was between me, Blutarch, and the Administrator.  
0031: It affected them all the same! Don't tell me you were so foolish to think that it wouldn't impact them in any way, you assisting Herr Gray in attacking their weapons supplier! You are not a stupid man, Herr Engineer!  
E-001: I am NOT talkin' about this with you. Besides, what did I do to you or him that warranted this anyhow?  
0031: You said yourself that you had been planning to leave Herr Gray--  
E-001: Because I thought he was gonna try and kill me!

I was going to shout back at him except there was a low, muffled breath from behind me. I spun around to see that Pyro was standing in the doorway and holding its axe. It looked to Herr Engineer with its head to one side. Herr Engineer's fists uncurled a bit and he went back to the almost gone lymph puddle he had been mopping.

E-001: We were arguing, that's all. Put that thing away before you hurt somebody.

Pyro turned its attention toward me again, but I didn't stay. Herr Engineer was not going to listen; what point was there in me being there anymore?

I pushed past the Pyro and out of the room before either could say anything.,

The moonlight and some small electric lights on the walls were the only sources of illumination in the hallway, besides my optics. I was so angry that I hardly took in my surroundings anyways. That is why I did not see the Spy even though he was uncloaked.

Spy unit: Something troubling you, my metal friend?

I almost turned around to try to avoid him, but it was too late for that. He was leaning against the wall to my immediate right and smoking a cigarette.

0031: Nein. Lassen Sie mich alleine.  
Spy unit: If you like, Stephen. I have no reason to anger you today.

I paused, then looked at him in confusion. He was smiling in the small way that irritates Herr Engineer so much, "smirking" I think it is called.

0031: What did you call me?  
Spy unit: Surely you remember? The Sniper thought it was much more suitable than Champ, or indeed whatever other drivel the Scout might come up with. And if you are going to be a teammate of ours, it would be better not to call you by a number.

I made a noise like "hmmph".

0031: It is not as though you call each other names, Spy. Why do you not call me "the robot" like Herr Medic does?  
Spy unit: We kill robots, Stephen. A name differentiates you from the clanking metal masses.

He flicked the cigarette butt onto the floor and stamped on it.

Spy unit: If you object to the name, however, I could call you something else.

I didn't answer, so he shrugged and kept talking.

Spy unit: Either way, it is unwise of you to stray from the surgery even at night. Miss Pauling often runs surveillance. She could easily find you.  
0031: Is that why you were lurking here then, to make sure Herr Engineer und myself stayed hidden?  
Spy unit: It's possible.

I scoffed before turning back toward the surgery.

0031: I think I am beginning to know why Herr Engineer is so annoyed with you all of the time.  
Spy unit: The Engineer is not likely to sneak outside at night.

I froze.

0031: What are you saying?  
Spy unit: Nothing that should matter to you, if all is as it should be. Goodnight Stephen.

I wanted to turn around and demand an answer, but somehow that seemed imprudent. Instead I wheeled quickly back to the surgery and helped to finish cleaning in silence.

The Spy can't possibly have seen what happened at the fence, can he?

/entry_13


	14. Chapter 14

entry_14

1034 hours, Sunday, February 11, 1973.

It has been three days since I argued with Herr Engineer. He is acting like nothing happened and changes the subject if I try to talk about it. Plus it might be my imagination but I think he is trying to avoid being alone with me longer than he has to. It makes me feel bad. It would be better if we could simply finish discussing the matter and be done with it, and maybe then we could be normal friends again instead of having all of this... pressure or perhaps tension between us. I do not know the human terminology for such things but it feels like one of those two. I still don't know how I might confront him again though. I'm not sure if I really do want to talk with him about 0396 or if I am simply acknowledging what would work best while having no intention of doing it. That seems ridiculous and yet it is possible; I have felt very odd lately.

Perhaps I should talk about the good things happening instead. Everyone is working hard to prepare for a decoy attack against the robots, for one. Miss Pauling has a fair knowledge of the territory surrounding the base, and the others told me that she determined which areas would make for the most strategic exits for Scout and Spy on their mission to penetrate the siege. Sniper is planning to cover Scout's path until the other gets too far into the trees to follow with his scope. That leaves Heavy, Herr Medic, Demoman, Soldier, and Pyro to draw the robot forces away from those routes via an attack in another area, probably at the bit of fence near the parking lot. Miss Pauling is going to be directing the attacks by using surveillance on both parties and communicating via some two-way radios she thought to bring with her during the inspection. 

I got this information from Demoman and to a lesser extent Soldier, who have been spending a good deal of time with Miss Pauling. It's helping to keep her from the surgery, but Soldier is getting very excited from talking about the impending battle so much. He keeps calling it "the Trojan Attack" for some reason and insisting on giving Scout and Spy robot lessons, whatever those are. Apparently he's been offering these lessons to everyone; when he asked Herr Engineer if he would like some, I thought he was in imminent danger of getting punched through the nearest wall. Fortunately Demoman was able to quickly change the subject.

Another good thing is that Herr Medic seems to like me much more than he did at first. During the beginning of our project concerning Herr Engineer's body, he would not speak to me much and always gave me those looks that Herr Engineer calls "the stink-eye" whenever I addressed him. Now that we are further along, however, he treats me similarly to how he treats everyone else. Granted he still gets annoyed with me at times, but when we are working together on removing stitches or re-calibrating the healing-gun to make sure it is healing at the fastest possible rate, he is positively cheerful. I am beginning to enjoy our conversations over the gurney almost as much as the work itself. There are a few in particular that stick out quite well in my mind.

One of these conversations occurred yesterday evening. It was a particularly exciting time for both of us, as Herr Medic told me that we could begin to reattach the head several days ahead of schedule. I watched with rapt attention as he pulled it from the ice box. Though the jaw sagged and the goggles that I hardly ever saw Herr Engineer without when he was still human were missing, the familiar face made me stop and watch it with a certain amount of fascination for a moment. There wasn't much sound besides the steady drip and splat of fluids from the base of the neck falling to the floor as Herr Medic turned the head over in his hands, inspecting it for defects with a very slight frown on his face.

Medic unit: Mmm. It looks to be in order. The eyes have a film we will have to take care of, und it seems a bit thin compared to what I would like, but. Well. That will have to do for now.

He glanced over to the corner where Herr Engineer was slumped over in standby mode. He had said he was simply tired, but really I think he had not wanted to watch tonight.

0031: He is very odd about his body sometimes. He's never that way about the robotic one.  
Medic unit: Some people are that way about the human body. It's rather ridiculous; I've seen plenty of them, und they really do not differ so much between one body und the next, even between the sexes. At least, not as much as you'd think, the way everyone carries on.

Herr Medic set it down on the gurney. It rolled over onto its side. The illumination of the healing beam cast shadows beneath the eyes and under the cheekbones. I prodded it gently.

0031: Goodness, it does not look so healthy.  
Medic unit: Oh they never do until you connect them to the body und start up the circulation again. The needle, bitte.

I handed him the needle and thread I had sterilized, then positioned the head at the top of the torso. The body was more or less finished other than the head. We still had some stitches to remove from around the ankles, and there was extensive scarring, but otherwise the only thing missing was this last important piece. I held it still, and Herr Medic began to sew the head onto the neck.

0031: I am curious now, have you reattached heads before then?  
Medic unit: Ja, though not quite under these circumstances. It is quite fun though. Spy does not like it when I mention this, but there was an incident involving the RED Medic some time ago where I had to reattach him to his own body. Well, I could have simply sent him through respawn as he requested, but this was far more fun. I think he still has the scars.

He giggled. I simulated a laugh as well. What can I say? Herr Medic's enthusiasm is infectious.

0031: Well I am sure he is grateful to be back together again now at the very least. It must not be pleasant to exist in pieces.  
Medic unit: You would be surprised, Machinenmensch. But meine Teamkollegen are not often thankful for the services I provide, regardless of how essential it is that I do my job well if we wish to succeed in any endeavor. I am used to it, more or less.

His next jab with the needle went through the skin with a bit more force than was strictly necessary. He had made his way halfway around the neck, so I turned everything carefully so he could continue. Herr Medic sighed.

Medic unit: It isn't that I am complaining of course. This is perhaps the best job I have ever had. The Administrator allows me to work in whatever way I see fit, it pays well, und of course there is always plenty of material for me to work with should I think of a new experiment.  
0031: It does seem like a very gut set up to be sure.  
Medic unit: Ja. Und what is better, well, I would be doing these sorts of things on my own time even if I was not employed to do them. Being able to devote this sort of time to one's personal passions und get paid for it besides, it is a wonderful thing. 

We lapsed into silence as he concentrated on the last few stitches. Once he finished he took the head and tugged it back and forth to make sure it was on securely. The stitches held. I rolled back a few feet to admire the body as a whole. It was remarkable how well everything was sealing itself together under the medigun, slow as the process was. Unlike machinery, the exterior held no seams where the stitches had been taken out, only thick lines of raised scar tissue encircling the limbs and intersecting across the torso. Organic beings will never cease to amaze me.

Herr Medic clapped his hands giddily.

Medic unit: Aha, very gut indeed! Now we will have to let the remaining wounds heal und see what happens.  
0031: Should we turn up the healing beam then?  
Medic unit: Yes yes, I was just about to do that actually. Pull the gurney back a bit so it is out of the middle of the surgery, bitte.

I did as Herr Medic instructed so that the rolling table was against the wall across from the door. Meanwhile he walked to where the gun hung suspended from the ceiling to adjust where it was pointing and its power levels. The beam of light intensified, lighting up our project as though it were on display. Once he was done Herr Medic stepped back and wiped his brow, leaving a red smudge on his forehead.

Medic unit: That should do it then. There is nothing we can do but wait until the head has rejoined entirely. The brain stem should come into play at that time, to regulate the body functions, und then we will not have to worry about icing it when it is not under the medigun.  
0031: The brain stem? Does it have a processor already inside of it then?  
Medic unit: Well of course. The head does not develop naturally without a brain inside of it, as you know. But it is very unlikely that it will be more than a rudimentary lump of cerebral tissue. I mean to say, this technology is superb, but brains are very complicated--

That was when the body sat up.

Medic unit: Verdammt!

I watched in amazement. The head lolled, the unnervingly blue eyes blinked, the fingers stretched open and contracted into fists. A low moan, like a man just asleep coming to his senses, fell upon my auditory sensors. It was looking around. For the briefest moment, I wondered if it was aware.

But Herr Medic was by its side in an instant, muttering curses and pulling a syringe from his pocket. He uncapped it and plunged it into the neck of the body. It offered no resistance; it did not even jerk as the needle sank into its flesh. It only rolled its eyes back up into its head and fell back against the gurney. Herr Medic quickly set to restraining it with the straps hanging off the gurney.

Medic unit: Ah. Apparently we are doing a better job than I thought at first.  
0031: Mein Gott, that was the strangest thing.  
Medic unit: If you thought that was strange then you haven't been here for nearly long enough mein Freund.  
0031: I only mean that, well, it... it functions EXTREMELY well, if what we just saw is any indicator.  
Medic unit: Oh yes, und that IS something to think about to be sure.

He pulled back with his head to one side, and suddenly a look of elation crossed his face.

Medic unit: Machinenmensch, do you know what this means?  
0031: Ah... well. The body has a processor of its own that functions quite well, I think.  
Medic unit: Yes. Und THAT means that I have an extra brain to use. Not only an extra brain, but a sufficiently capable one, if it is anything like our friend's!

I looked over to where Herr Engineer was slumped in the corner, arms crossed over his metal chest. I had a troubling thought.

0031: Herr Medic, I thought we were growing Herr Engineer a body so he wouldn't have to be a robot anymore. If we put his processor into this body, where will the one already in there go?  
Medic unit: Well I haven't decided yet of course. There are so many possibilities to explore; I could make anything! I could make a monster, or I could make a god, or... anything.

He set a hand on the side of its expressionless face. His fingers were trembling. I shook my head, still puzzled at a discrepancy I had noticed.

0031: But Herr Engineer is always saying that his displacement from his original body was a moral wrong, even if Herr Gray did it. If he knows what is going to happen, that the body we prepared for him is inhabited, will he not object?

Herr Medic didn't answer me right away. Eventually he pulled himself away from our project, brow furrowed slightly.

Medic unit: Machinenmensch, surely the Engineer will understand. It isn't as though we are kidnapping a person und extracting their brain against their will. We grew this body. It wouldn't exist without us, und we made it for this purpose, so... so it is all right.  
0031: You mean... because we made it, we are in charge, ja?

He waved his hand as he turned back to look at the body again.

Medic unit: Yes, what you said. Und it isn't as though I will let such a marvelous gift as this brain go to waste. It will be put to good use. Yes... very good use...

He ran a hand through his hair distractedly. I nodded slowly as comprehension dawned in my own brain, though his back was to me now so he would not see.

0031: Alright, I think I understand now. Danke Herr Medic.  
Medic unit: You are welcome Machinenmensch. Now please be quiet, I am trying to savor this moment.

So I was quiet, and I thought, and I have been thinking ever since then. Even now as I am taking care of Drei and the body is obscured by a sheet I am still turning his words over in my head. Herr Engineer asked about it a few times but not anything too in-depth, and he has not wanted to look at his own face under the sheet yet either. Herr Medic has not said a word about the brain to him though he has been undeniably cheerful all day.

It seems that the body's relation to Herr Medic and myself, but mostly Herr Medic, might be similar to my relationship to Herr Gray. He made me, so wouldn't that mean that my loyalty to him is reasonable despite what Herr Engineer may say? He is angry that he was punished by Herr Gray, naturally, and I can understand that he does not like being a robot, but... but if Herr Gray wishes to reconcile with me, I should take advantage of the opportunity, shouldn't I?

All the same I do not want to betray Herr Engineer and the others. It would be a poor repayment after they have treated me so nicely, and as much as I may owe Herr Gray my allegiance that does not mean that I should drag them into things. Perhaps I can manage some sort of negotiation, or... or I don't know. The entire situation seems fairly hopeless.

I need to talk with 0396 again.

/entry_14


	15. Chapter 15

entry_15

2323 hours, Monday, February 12, 1973.

It is strange to think that there was ever a time when I found making decisions to be an easy task. My latest excursion to the fence has complicated matters rather than simplifying them, and what's worse I didn't even manage to do what I had set out to accomplish.

The excursion started out smoothly enough. I had taken precautionary measures to help ensure against interruptions, namely from Spy; I was concerned that he might be patrolling the corridor outside of the surgery as he had been when Herr Engineer and I had fought. In the end, the only reliable course of action seemed to be artificially induced stupor. Herr Medic did not miss the syringe I extracted from his cabinet this afternoon when he was tending to his doves. Finding a way to introduce the drug into the Spy's system without arousing suspicion was challenging, but eventually I was able to accompany the Scout to the break room and, while he was talking and generally being oblivious, inject the syringe's contents into the rations he had set aside for himself in the refrigerator. Herr Medic had told me about his preferred sedatives; therefore, I knew that though this drug was most effective when injected into the bloodstream, the dosage would nevertheless be sufficient to keep an average sized man under for six hours when taken orally.

Despite all of this my processor buzzed with anxiety at the possibility that somehow this plan would go awry. What if the Spy didn't eat his food? When I left the surgery after the others had entered sleep mode, I realized this was unnecessary. The Spy was nowhere to be seen. I proceeded slowly anyways, all the better to listen for breathing or footsteps or other auditory signs of a human presence, but there were none. Everything was quiet as I wheeled out of the base and furtively across the parking lot.

I approached the fence with a certain amount of caution. it was too dark under the trees to make out much, but I thought I saw shapes moving in the shadows.

0031: Ah, hallo? Ist da jemand?

Something dropped out of the tree right behind the fence, and I almost fell over. Two blue lights from a Sniper unit's optical sensors glared at me from under his hat.

2009: What are you doing here?

The question surprised me.

0031: I was, ah, wishing to speak with unit 0396, or 0395 or 0484 if that is not possible.

The Sniper unit looked down at my hands, which I stopped wringing at once. Then he looked back at my face.

2009: Where's E-001?  
0031: He is, er, not with me, but I wish to--  
2009: 0396's busy. What do you want?

I felt annoyance at this. This unit was much younger than any I had talked with before, and he was being very disrespectful. Traitor I may be, but they had been the ones to contact me first.

0031: I would prefer to talk with 0396, if it is all the same to Herr Gray.  
2009: The Maker can talk with you personally once you get E-001's processor. There ain't nothing more to discuss until then.

I grasped the fence with both hands.

0031: But I need to talk with someone about this!  
2009: Talk with someone? What about, tactics? Unforeseen complications? I don't reckon the Maker's real interested in excuses right about now, 0031. You'd do better to just get on with it and get back to us.  
0031: I am NOT going to make excuses!  
2009: Then what the hell do you have to tell them that's so important?

My mouth-- my, er, jaw, that is to say, moved as though to frame an answer, but I didn't know how to explain. It wasn't a matter of how to do it, or trying to get into Herr Gray's good books. And I was almost certain the other robot would not understand.

2009: Thought so. Don't bother us anymore; we've got a siege to keep up.

He turned and stalked off between the trees. I wanted to make him listen, to reach through the fence and grab his arm and keep him from walking away from me, but what was the point? I watched until his outline was lost between the tree trunks. Then, feeling entirely hopeless, I made my way back across the parking lot toward the base.

I was at the door when someone tackled me from behind.

Demolitions unit: FECKING ROBOTS! I'LL RIP OUT YOUR INNARDS AND STRING THEM ON A CHRISTMAS TREE!

The Demoman sent me crashing into the wall. I tried to push him off so I could steady myself; it almost worked. He staggered backward a pace before launching himself at me, and before I could move we were both falling over into the wall again. The empty glass bottle in his fist sailed toward my head. I caught his wrist just in time.

0031: Demoman, was ist los? It is only me!

He punched my face with his free hand, which was annoying and probably hurt him some. He didn't act like it did though, especially since he did it again right afterward. It was quite unnerving.

0031: Demoman come to your senses! It is just me-- ach!

We both fell to the ground in a heap. I spun my wheel hopelessly as he sprawled across my torso, blinking.

Demolitions unit: How...? Oh, it's just you Stephen. Taking a walk, were ye?

I pushed him off in annoyance.

0031: Yes, it is only me, und yes I was talking a walk. What are you doing out here?  
Demolitions unit: Needed some air. Here lad, let me help.

He stood up and swayed just slightly on the spot before offering me his hand. He seemed oddly unfocused. Perhaps that was due to the contents of his then-empty bottle. Either way I took his hand and he hauled me to my feet with only a little difficulty.

0031: Danke.  
Demolitions unit: Don't mention it lad. Shouldn't be wandering about after dark though.

He tilted the empty bottle back as though hoping to get one last drop to run down into his mouth, then stopped. His eye fixed on my face.

Demolitions unit: Wait just a moment Steve, what ARE ye doing out here? You know if Miss Pauling sees ye-  
0031: Well that is because... er, I was about to ask you the same question. What are YOU doing out here, with the siege in place? You could be severely damaged!

He frowned at me. Suddenly his voice rose with a passion I rarely hear him use outside of battle.

Demolitions unit: Because I'll go wherever I bloody well please, that's why! I'll not be cowed by a bunch of oversized wind-up dolls like what Gray's set on us! YE HEAR THAT, YE DAMNED ROBOTS?! SET SO MUCH AS A TIRE PAST THAT FENCE AND I'LL-

I gripped his arm tightly, panic that might not have been warranted overtaking my processor.

0031: Shh, please Demoman! There is no reason to antagonize them!  
Demolitions unit: No need to get your wires in a twist boyo, they aren't about to come for us. Now let go of me arm.

He pushed me off, swayed, then lurched back at me to throw an arm over my shoulder. I had to lean against him to stop from overbalancing.

Demolitions unit: Ahh... but it must be tough for ye, Steve. Running from your own kinsfolk, thinking they might put a bullet through your head next time ye meet... it's a sad thing, even if ye are all robots.  
0031: Er, yes, quite sad. Shouldn't we try to get in-  
Demolitions unit: Do ye have any friends among their ranks?

It took me a moment to process exactly what his query had been.

0031: Friends, Demoman?  
Demolitions unit: Aye, back among your kind.

He jerked his thumb backward to indicate the fence. It seemed to me very odd that he should ask me this, perhaps simply because I hadn't spent a good deal of time with him and it was what Herr Engineer would call a personal question.

0031: I... did, I think.

His brows rose.

Demolitions unit: Did?  
0031: He is destroyed now. The Soldier shot him before I came here.  
Demolitions unit: Aah... I'm sorry to hear it lad. What was his name?  
0031: Heavy weapons unit 0218.

The Demoman raised his bottle in what I took to be a solemn salute.

Demolitions unit: To 0218 then.

He threw his head back to drink, the motion almost making me fall. When nothing came out of the bottle, he made a face of displeasure.

Demolitions unit: Bloody empty. I probably shouldn't have anymore anyways; I'm starting to feel it.  
0031: Can I ask you something?

I don't know why I said it. He frowned at me but not in an angry way.

Demolitions unit: Aye?  
0031: This... this might sound odd, but since I joined you humans, does that make me a bad robot?  
Demolitions unit: What do ye mean by that Steve?  
0031: Well I mean I know that everyone is glad that I am not with Herr Gray anymore, but he made me. It is like I betrayed him- no, not like, it IS betrayal.

He shook his head.

Demolitions unit: Ye came to the wrong person for that kind of talk boyo. Those are deep waters.  
0031: I am sorry. It has just been bothering me.

The Demoman swayed again. His eye was rather unfocused, either because of the alcohol or because he was deep in thought.

Demolitions unit: I think... just because someone made ye, it doesn't mean they're right about everything. Just look at me mum.  
0031: Deine Mutter?  
Demolitions unit: The one! A finer mum no man could ask for; she's a demoman like (hiccup) like me, and me old da, rest his soul. Blind as a bat, fiery as a dragon, and she's always on me case about work. She says no demoman worth his salt ever had less than fifteen jobs at one time, and never mind if ye DID pull in over five million dollars last year Tavish! We live in a bleeding mansion, and the way she talks ye'd think we were constantly on the brink of starvation!

He shook his head.

Demolitions unit: Anyways, what were we talking about again?  
0031: Ah... whether I am a horrible traitor or not?  
Demolitions unit: Right. So... it's like I say, lad, sometimes ye have to follow your own path even if they don't want ye to. It's not like me mum or your Gray knows everything. They're just... just as human as we are...

He trailed off. I turned his words over in my head, processing their meaning. I thought he was thinking as well, until his head slid onto my shoulder and he began snoring. I held on to his arm, worried he would fall and hurt himself without my continued support.

0031: Demoman... Demoman, wake up.

I shook him gently. It did no good. I looked around to see if anyone was nearby. If I didn't find a way to either put him down or pick him up without overbalancing, I was going to be stuck.

0031: I require assistance! Is anyone there who can help me?  
Spy unit: Yes.

I spun to face the base again. The Spy was holding the door open and watching me closely. For a human, his face is incredibly hard to read. Neither of us spoke for several seconds.

Spy unit: I am going to take you back to the surgery, and you are not going to leave it again. Is that understood?  
0031: Yes.

He stepped forward and pulled the Demoman off of me, then dragged him to just inside the door. I didn't look at him as he led the way back. Excuses I might be able to use flew through my mind, and once we were just outside of the surgery I addressed him.

0031: Spy, I-

He held up a hand, and I was quiet.

Spy unit: Stephen, I want to believe you are on our side just as much as anyone else. I am giving you a chance to show that our trust is not misplaced. Do not make me regret it.

I dropped my gaze again.

0031: Danke.

He nodded to the door, and I left him there. For all I know he is still out there watching the door. I should just shut off and rest my systems, I know that I should, but this night has given me much to think about.

And Demoman said "just as human as we are". What does that mean?

/entry_15


	16. Chapter 16

entry_16

1204 hours, Tuesday, February 13, 1973.

I awoke this morning to find that the entire team sans Scout was gathered in the surgery. All were facing me, and none of their faces looked happy. Herr Engineer straightened from a crouch next to me as my eyes blinked on, and it occurred to me that he had pressed the on switch beneath my chest plate instead of waiting for me to awaken via my timer or sensory stimuli. He offered me a "hand up", as he calls it, and I allowed him to pull me into a standing position.

0031: Was ist los?

He opened his mouth to answer, but the Heavy spoke first.

Heavy weapons unit: Why were you outside last night, metal doktor?

I very carefully kept my gaze from straying toward Spy or Demoman. It had been foolish to hope they would not say anything about my excursion.

0031: Why do you ask me this question?  
Heavy weapons unit: Miss Pauling saw tracks inside fence. Tire tracks. She thinks metal men have come inside.  
0031: Ah.  
Sniper unit: She and Scout are out there right now looking for a breach. Seems kind of funny that Gray would send in a Medic instead of a Spy, doesn't it?  
0031: Well, ah, those are my tracks, but I was only going outside to see the, er, trees again. I couldn't go during the day with Miss Pauling around.

The Sniper's eyes narrowed, but Demoman shook his head.

Demolitions unit: Look, I saw Steve outside last night. Maybe he did go to the fence. But that doesn't change the fact that he helped Engineer escape from Gray, does it? I don't think his old boss would be too happy to see him again after something like THAT.  
Sniper unit: Unless he had information for him.

Herr Engineer turned on his friend with a suddenness that almost made me jump.

E-001: What's that supposed to mean?  
Soldier unit: IT MEANS THAT MEDIC IS A SPY! I KNEW IT!

The Soldier lurched toward me, but the Demoman grabbed him by the arms. I realized with a bit of alarm that my back was to the wall, and the agitated humans hemmed me in on every side. Pyro was by far the closest and was considering me in a way I did not like, its fingers drumming against the handle of its fire axe. 

Soldier tried to pull away from Demoman.

Demolitions unit: That's not what he means at all ye blockhead!  
Soldier unit: LET GO OF ME YOU DAMNED SCOTSMAN, I AM TRYING TO PROTECT OUR TEAM FROM THE ROBOT MENACE!  
0031: But I am not a menace, bitte! I am not working for Herr Gray; it is as Demoman said!  
Soldier unit: NOT A MENACE MY ASS! I BET YOU'RE NOT EVEN AMER--  
Medic unit: Mein Gott, shut up!

Everyone was quiet and looked at Herr Medic. He was glaring at Soldier, but his gaze strayed once to the body's gurney on the other side of the room. I think the sheet had twitched. Nobody but me noticed his distraction though, so he pushed his glasses up his nose and addressed Soldier.

Medic unit: No one thinks that the Machinenmensch is a spy except for you, Soldier. For once in your life PLEASE control yourself.

The Soldier stopped straining against Demoman so suddenly that the latter almost fell over.

Soldier: Oh. BUT SNIPER SAID--  
Spy unit: It is possible to pass information to the enemy without necessarily being a spy, my simple friend.

The Spy surveyed me coolly from where he stood next to the Heavy. I faced him as boldly as I could manage, though his words sent signals of dread prickling through my processor.

0031: Do you think I am a traitor then, Spy?

His eyes turned down to examine his cigarette as though he were choosing his words carefully.

Spy unit: I never said that.  
E-001: Then what ARE you saying, Spy?

Herr Engineer sidled in front of me. His hands were clenched into fists. I know that the lights in our eyes do not change in intensity except due to variations in environmental lighting, but his seemed to burn a little brighter as he glared at the Spy. The Spy's brows rose slightly to indicate his surprise.

Spy unit: Engineer, I am not attacking or accusing anyone at the moment.  
E-001: Never said you were. Answer my question.  
Spy unit: Very well then. However unlikely it seems that Steven would betray any of us, there have been instances recently where I have questioned the motives behind some of his actions.

I am sure he meant about when I tried to drug him. I rocked uneasily on my wheel, but Herr Engineer just scoffed.

E-001: Why, because he wanted to leave the surgery once? I would've gone too if he'd offered just to get a change in the scenery. That ain't a crime.  
Sniper unit: Blimey, just because you made him doesn't mean he's harmless.

Herr Engineer took a step toward Sniper. The Sniper looked mildly alarmed, I think, from the way his face tensed.

E-001: I didn't MAKE Stephen, Mundy. I DESIGNED him. Gray built him before the robot war even started, back when I was still fighting BLU with you all, and in case all of you forgot he's partly responsible for me being like this to start out with. If anyone on this whole team has a reason to be suspicious or angry at Steven, it's me.

A strange feeling twisted in me. It might have been guilt.

E-001: I might ALSO remind you that I wouldn't've ever escaped from Gray if it weren't for him. I was going to get my memory wiped, I'd given up, except he didn't let me. And on the roof, he's the one who noticed I was about to die and helped me to the helicopter even when it wound up almost getting him killed. So why don't you tell me to my face that you think he's working for the enemy, if you still think so. Come on now.

He stared around at them. Only the Heavy met his gaze. And maybe the Pyro, it is so hard to tell with Pyro.

Heavy weapons unit: We only want you and metal doktor to be careful, Engineer. We do not want Miss Pauling to find you.  
E-001: You sure that's all? Maybe you don't trust me neither.

The Heavy's eyes narrowed. I had a bad feeling about this conversation, but at that moment there was a sharp knock on the door and the Scout entered before anyone could answer it.

Spy unit: Where is Miss Pauling?  
Scout unit: She's still lookin' at the fence but she'll be here soon, that's why I had to warn you guys about that first. See, I can think ahead when I want to!  
Medic unit: Yes we are all VERY proud of you Scout. Now what do you want?  
Scout unit: Uh, Miss P's gonna tell you guys anyways, but she wants to try and get through the robots tonight. I figured I should tell you now so Steve and Engie can know before she comes in.

Pyro and Herr Engineer looked at each other.

Pyro unit: (incomprehensible mumbling accompanied by gesticulations)  
Scout unit: You know nobody freakin' understands what you say ever, right?  
E-001: What all do we need to know?

Scout rocked back on his heels and looked at the ceiling.

Scout unit: Well there wasn't any holes in the fence or nothin', but she's sure that waiting would be a bad idea since, you know, she thinks there's robots comin' in through the fence.  
Sniper unit: (muttered) She ain't wrong there.  
Scout unit: Yeah, so she'll probably be around a lot, and you robots might want to clear out of the surgery for the afternoon.

Herr Medic looked uneasily to the sheet-covered gurney.

Medic unit: We don't have to ALWAYS meet in here, you know. I mean to say, it is a bit cramped, and there are, er, so many delicate apparatus that could be damaged.

I think this was just an excuse because most of the delicate apparatus he was referring to were piled haphazardly in the sink or lying on the floor near the wall. It seemed like a bad time to point this out, so I did not say anything.

Demolitions unit: Cripes, stop complaining. She's on her way Doc, and with any luck we won't be here much longer anyways.  
Heavy weapons unit: Da, Demoman is right. We need to hide robots and then decide more things later. Scout, go make sure we have time.

Herr Engineer sighed as Scout darted out the door.

E-001: Come on Stephen, let's get in the closet again.

I did not object and only followed him in to the dark interior of our old hiding spot. Once the door was closed I imitated a small cough like humans sometimes do when they want to say something but it is for some reason difficult.

E-001: What?  
0031: Just, ah, thank you. For trusting me, und defending me from the rest of the team.

He shrugged but clapped me on the back. Miss Pauling will be here soon so I am going to stop recording and focus on listening in now.

Maybe it is a good thing that I did not manage to talk to 0396 last night.

/entry_16


	17. Chapter 17

entry_17

1854 hours, Tuesday, February 13, 1973.

The plan is being put into motion.

In approximately one hour and six minutes, the Soldier and the Demoman will charge into the woods and make as big of a distraction as they can. Heavy and Herr Medic will follow close behind to make sure that they do not get themselves killed. Meanwhile Spy and Scout will leave from opposite ends of the base to hopefully penetrate Herr Gray's ranks. Sniper will watch Scout's progress from the roof as far as he can and snipe any robots that get too close to the fence that he can see. Pyro, meanwhile, will guard the perimeter, while Miss Pauling monitors things from inside the base. She found and fixed several two way radios to keep in touch with everyone.

It's not a fool proof plan, of course, but everyone agrees that Miss Pauling's idea is the most likely thing to provide results. We cannot simply wait for Herr Gray to make the first move, we have no chance of defeating even the forces at hand with just our handful of mercenaries, and it is only a matter of time before she discovers Herr Engineer and myself if we stay after all. Everyone is very tense; it is making me nervous.

Miss Pauling has been in and out of the surgery and watching the fence through the window all evening, so Herr Engineer and I decided to hide in Sniper's van again. He did not want to stay with us because he was getting ready, so we are alone. It is too quiet now, though I did try to talk with Herr Engineer about some things.

0031: Herr Engineer?  
E-001: Mm.  
0031: Ah... Herr Medic does have the body well hidden. The surgery is safe.  
E-001: Nothing's safe right now.  
0031: Well it's as safe as anything else then.  
E-001: Guess so.

There was a pause.

0031: I am sorry, I just mean that you should not worry about it.  
E-001: I ain't worrying about it.  
0031: Of course not, but ah, still. I just...

I didn't know what else to say, but I felt like I should say something.

0031: I am sorry for helping Herr Gray with your surgery.  
E-001: And I forgive you. Can we stop talking now?  
0031: If that's what you would prefer, yes.

Thus concluded my attempts at conversation.

I hope that the robots do not suspect anything, and that Scout or Spy manage to contact the Administrator or RED team or anyone who can help us. I hope that Miss Pauling does not find out about

oh

I think I have to end here now. Something is not going according to plan because those are definitely gunshots.

/entry_17


	18. Chapter 18

entry_18

1946 hours, February 13, 1973.

I am very scared right now. I am recording this because there is nowhere to look for consolation or guidance. That must be why humans write journals sometimes, because it gives the illusion that you are telling a person your thoughts and they are listening.

Herr Gray's army has arrived at last; that is what was responsible for the gunshots. When Herr Engineer and I looked out the window of the van, we could see a barrage of Heavy units arriving at the gates, firing through the chain link. What was more concerning was the way the trees seemed to shake and some were falling down a ways off, and the flocks of birds that were leaving their branches in alarm.

0031: A tank. There is a tank coming.  
E-001: Dammit. We need to get out of here, come on.

He wrenched open the doors of the van, and without waiting I followed him out even though I was apprehensive.

0031: But Herr Engineer, what if Miss Pauling sees us?  
E-001: I'll take my chances with her over Gray anytime. MOVE!

Demomen had joined the Heavies, and one sent a pipe bomb arcing over the fence. I watched it falling end over end without really processing what was happening or where its trajectory would have it land, until Herr Engineer dragged me backwards. As I turned to face the building where the others were surely being roused by the sound of battle, the ground shook and an all too familiar orange flash illuminated the scenery for a fraction of a second.

E-001: Stop staring around and just run!  
0031: They will destroy us! There are so many of them, und if Herr Gray brings even a fraction of his forces--  
E-001: Then I'll kill as many as I can before I get shot down myself, now--

This time the explosion almost knocked me down. Herr Engineer kept his hold on my arm so that I just barely remained upright before pulling me behind a boulder. An idea formed in my processor.

0031: No, Herr Engineer, you go und I will stay here.  
E-001: Cut it out Steve, I'm serious!  
0031: I am also serious! Perhaps if I go back, I can reason with them!

Herr Engineer stared at me with what I could only assume was utter bewilderment.

E-001: Reason with THEM? You're off your nut!  
0031: You were able to reason with me, weren't you?  
E-001: But this is different! Stop spewin' out nonsense and come on already!

I jerked my arm out of his grip and kept my ocular receptors fixed on his face.

0031: They may have shot at us a bit just now, but Herr Gray wants us ALIVE. Don't you remember this?  
E-001: Us? I thought it was only me he wanted alive. You'd get decommissioned, right?  
0031: No, Herr Engineer, I... I have talked with one of them.

He didn't speak for a moment but only stared at me. When he did speak, he suddenly sounded much calmer which was concerning.

E-001: You talked with the robots.  
0031: They dragged me beyond the fence when Scout took me to "play hooky". I'm sorry, I should have told you.  
E-001: What did they say?

A deep harsh laugh boomed over us almost like another explosion going off. I could hear bullets ricocheting off of stone and concrete. I spoke more quickly.

0031: They wanted me to go back und to bring you with me. Herr Gray has discovered that phenomenon we discussed, that a robot develops into a person over time much like a human when it is young, so he thought that having older more intelligent robots in his army might be a gut thing. My contact said he would forgive us if we came back.  
E-001: And you weren't tempted by that at all?

I did not let myself pause.

0031: Of course not. You do not want to go back, therefore I do not want to go back.

He opened his mouth but I cut him off. I thought I heard metal rending, perhaps the sound of the fence being breached.

0031: Please, Herr Engineer, I only wish to find out what they want. They will not take me back without you, but they will not kill me either. I can talk with them.

Herr Engineer shook his head and simulated a sigh as he does sometimes.

E-001: All right, I trust you. Don't get yourself killed.  
0031: Danke, I won't.

Without waiting to hear his response I pushed myself upright against the rock and took off as quickly as I could across what was becoming a battlefield.

I could hear mercenaries shouting behind me, all of them sounding panicked. Ahead the fence kept back a mass of Scouts gathered near the gate; some were climbing it. Two Soldiers and a Demoman jumped over the fence with ease to shoot rockets and bombs at the building's walls. I waved my arms as they turned toward me.

0031: DO NOT SHOOT! I wish to speak with 0396, bitte!

They hardly glanced at me but just kept running, perhaps on Herr Gray's orders. I did not bother asking them where 0396 was.

My wheel skidded a bit across the asphalt in my haste, but that was the only trouble I ran into before I reached the fence. I grabbed it with both hands.

0031: STOP ATTACKING, BITTE! I wish to speak with 0396, it is urgent!

Several more Soldiers jumped over my head. Nearby a Scout swung a leg over the barbed wire at the top of the chain link, paused, then leaped down to land in a crouch. I spun toward him immediately.

0031: Please, I need to speak with unit--

He pushed me aside.

2934: Outta the way, I'm busy here!  
0031: But this is urgent! I must speak with 0396!

I tried to grab his arm. Apparently this was a mistake. His bat swung through the air and hit me directly in the chest, sending me toppling backward. It is good that Herr Engineer reinforced my chest plate because that could have caused serious damage.

2934: What are you, deaf? I said I'm busy!

After some time of struggling, with various robots jumping over or running around me, I managed to right myself. 2934 had since run for the base. I could see the human Heavy at the doorway with his gun, advancing. Several robots had already fallen to him and were lying either in little heaps at his feet or strewn out in bits all across the asphalt. I am sure that he did not recognize me amid the other metal faces; how could he when we look identical? He is not one of us, he does not have the identification software. And little though I know about human expressions, I am certain his contained no recognition when he looked across the field at me. Only rage, and perhaps a little bit of enjoyment at the destruction he was causing.

Heavy unit: RUN, ROBOT COWARDS, RUN! I WILL CRUSH YOUR DOKTOR!

So I did as he instructed. I ran, and I kept running-- rolling, perhaps, is a better term-- along the fence line. It was like the old days almost, with Herr Gray, except I don't recall ever feeling that terrified in my life. And I could hear the robots behind me, the young ones that were too stupid to know fear, collapsing with cries of surprise and pain while his bullets punched holes through them. He laughed as we ran.

But it was only a matter of time before my speed carried me well out of his range and around the corner of the building. I grasped at the fence, noting that my extremities were shaking and rattling with my disconcertion. It seemed prudent to rest for a moment until the shaking subsided, so I leaned against the fence. My gaze happened to turn downward.

A pair of wire cutters were lying next to my wheel. Someone had used them to clip a large hole through the fence. It seemed that either Scout or Spy had had the presence of mind to leave during the commotion to fulfill their duty.

I ducked and crawled through as well as I was able. It was safer for me on that side anyways, even if the ground was uneven to the point that negotiating it with a wheel was an arduous task. I moved from one tree to the next, clinging to each trunk for support, and so very slowly I started to curve back toward the gate.

Until I was stopped by a hand on my arm.

0396: Hey hey, look at you, coming all the way out here by yourself!  
0395: We almost thought you'd abandoned us for good. What kept you so long?

I turned around as carefully as I could. The two Scout units stood there watching me. 0396 had his hand on my arm, and 0395 had his bat out.

0031: I am, well, not here because... well. I have come on behalf of the mercenaries, to ask for a cease fire.

They stared at me uncomprehendingly. I had to stop myself from glancing at 0395's bat.

0396: That's real funny. Freakin' hilarious.  
0395: Didn't we tell you that the Maker wouldn't take you back without the processor?  
0031: I am not joking. They wish for you to stop attacking, und I volunteered to deliver the message.

The Scout units exchanged a glance.

0396: Why the hell would we do that? Master Gray has 'em right where he wants 'em.  
0395: Oh man, don't tell us you actually care what happens to those chumps. This has to be some kind of sick joke.

He poked me hard in the chest as he said these words. I held my hands up in a placating manner, processor whirring with the speed of my thoughts.

0031: Calm down und stop saying foolish things. I only mean that, ah, a cease fire might lead to negotiations for their surrender. Herr Gray could regain what he has lost, und perhaps more, without suffering more casualties.

0395 scoffed. They were both very close to my face now. It was making it difficult to think.

0395: We've got them CORNERED, dummy! They don't have a chance!  
0396: And why don't you got the brain yet, huh? You're taking your sweet time to help us, that's for sure!  
0395: I'm starting to think you're not even on our--  
0031: HE DOES NOT WANT TO COME BACK!

My frame began to shake again. The words had come from my speakers unbidden. The Scouts went very still. In the distance I could hear human and robot voices mingling with the muffled booms of explosions.

0396: What's that got to do with anything?  
0031: I... I wish to be a gut robot und to do as Herr Gray says. I do. But Herr Engineer--  
0395: "Herr" Engineer again, really?  
0396: You can't say that anymore, Doc. E-001 is like us.  
0031: No he is not, it is... complicated. I do not wish any harm upon him, not when he is so unhappy with what I have done.  
0396: What, you helping to make him into a robot to start with?

I stared at them both in amazement.

0031: Herr Gray told you?  
0396: What's it to you?  
0395: Look, you either go get him and bring him back or we're going to have to do this the old fashioned way. We don't care what kind of weird old-model nostalgia problems you're having right now.  
0031: But--

0396 grabbed me by the arms, which I did not like much. I almost shoved him away.

0396: Gramps, listen. You've got to snap out of it. E-001 and his human buddies, they're turning you against the Maker.  
0031: No, aren't you listening? That's not why--  
0396: He's been badmouthing him, hasn't he? He figures he's still human, and that you should obey him instead of Master Gray!  
0031: That is not--! He has never commanded me to obey him!  
0396: Well you obviously don't care about Master Gray anymore. If you cared about him, you'd do what you were told.

I did not know how to respond. I just stared at him until he let go of me.

0395: Just stop wasting our time. Either come back here with the processor, or don't come back at all.

Then they left me here alone. I really don't know what I should do, but part of me is starting to worry that 0396 is right.

/entry_18


	19. Chapter 19

entry_19

2141 hours, February 13, 1973.

I did the right thing.

The Mercenaries will be killed if I do not go back to talk with the Maker, and we do not know the current condition of the respawn system. They will not understand at first; they may be angry at me, but that is only to be expected. I belong with Herr Gray, and it is as Herr Engineer said, after the first meeting they had with Miss Pauling in the surgery. Him simply placing his processor into a human body is not going to solve his problems. This may not fix things still, but at the very least it will make things easier for his teammates.

It was much easier than I anticipated; I must have garnered more trust from them than I thought at first. The trip back to the base required only following the path I had first taken and ducking through the hole in the fence. Soldier, Demoman, and Heavy were fighting in the field-- rather, the parking lot, in front of the buildings. Herr Medic was not with them.

It was simple to circumvent the humans from behind. They were entirely focused on keeping my brethren from breaching the fence in greater numbers so my passage to the doorway went entirely unnoticed. Once through I proceeded with no less caution, but I met no one until I reached the surgery. A light was visible from under the door, and I could hear voices.

Medic unit: Why would you let him do something so foolish?!  
E-001: He was hell-bent on it Doc, now look, all I'm asking is that you keep an eye out for him and let the others know he's out there! If he gets shot down by mistake--  
0031: I am all right, I am here.

I pushed open the door, and both of them stared at me in surprise. Herr Medic was loading needles into his syringe gun, once more donning the white coat and gloves he saved for battle. Herr Engineer leaned against the wall nearby. He looked the same as always, like me.

E-001: Steve? I thought you were gonna talk with the robots.  
0031: I did, but listen to me. There is only a little time.

I had decided what I would say on the trip to the surgery. They exchanged a glance. Herr Medic's face held confusion.

Medic unit: There is only a little time for what? Stephen, what did you tell them?  
0031: I told them that we would hear Herr Gray's terms of surrender if they would stop firing. We only have a few hours--

Herr Engineer pushed against the wall so he was standing straight.

E-001: We are NOT about to surrender.  
0031: I KNOW that, now listen! Spy or Scout has already left to contact the Administrator; I saw the hole in the fence. The ceasefire will buy us time, as you say, but it would be best if you were no longer mechanized when she arrived. Herr Medic, is the body ready?

I could see all intent of protest die in Herr Medic's face at the suggestion of finally operating. Herr Engineer kept staring at me, his jaw sliding away from the upper part of his face just slightly. It was the closest thing to an expression of surprise he could manage.

0031: I know this is sudden, but it really is necessary that we do it now.  
E-001: You sure we have enough time for this? I don't want y'all rushing and messing something up.

Herr Medic was already stripping off his gloves, an excited gleam in his eyes.

Medic unit: You worry too much, mein hard-hatted friend! Just remember that the sooner we start, the sooner you shall be your old fleshy self again!  
E-001: Now just hold on a second Doc. It's not like I don't want to go back; it's just this seems a little--

I moved a little closer to him. My voice began to sound pleading.

0031: Herr Engineer, bitte, we are running out of time! If we start now, you could go back to your old life again. The Administrator might forgive you; they could tell her a story, ANY story, to excuse what you have done. If she sees you to still be useful...

He hesitated, still watching me as closely as he could. Finally he gave me a slow nod.

E-001: All right. Let's do this.

Herr Medic grinned.

Medic unit: Stephen, please help Engineer onto the spare gurney while I, ah, attend to the body. It will only take a moment.

He bustled over to the covered table against the wall. His back was to us as though he were hiding the body from our gaze. Engineer didn't seem to notice; he was pulling the other gurney out into the middle of the room. I helped him to climb on top of it, but he hesitated when he heard a sharp, quickly stifled sound that was not made by Herr Medic.

E-001: What--?  
Medic unit: Ah, it is nothing! Only the, er, rudimentary brain causing it to make sounds. Do not trouble yourself about it.  
0031: Herr Engineer, bitte.

He shook his head in the Medic's direction but complied all the same. I rocked slightly on my wheel.

0031: If you, er, like, you could lean back und I will begin to unbolt the top of your head.

Herr Engineer simulated a sigh before doing so. I began to work on prising off the piece of him made to look like a hard hat.

E-001: Damn, I'm starting to get a little nervous.  
0031: Shh, do not fret mein Freund. It shall all be over soon enough.

The bolts came out easily, and soon I had laid them out beside him on his metal table. I grasped the hat firmly, but he squirmed.

E-001: You sure they said they's stop firing on us? Still sounds like they're fighting up there.

I hesitated.

0031: Yes, that is a bit concerning.

He shifted his weight restlessly as though he were going to sit up. I put a hand on his chest to keep him from doing so.

E-001: Doc, you sure we should keep--

He stopped talking then because I reached over to his switch and turned him off.

Herr Medic paused in his bustling. The body made its noise again, but it was muffled as though it were groaning or trying to talk through a gag.

Medic unit: Was ist los?  
0031: Ah, sorry, my hand slipped on his power button, but it will be easier with him unconscious anyways.  
Medic unit: Really. I thought it was necessary for the subjects to be awake during the process in case of complications.  
0031: I wasn't talking about the procedure, Herr Medic.

He began to turn around.

Medic unit: What are you--

His eyes widened with surprise as I tackled him to the ground. We bumped the body's gurney. I could see it rocking back and forth, straining against its straps. The motion sent Herr Medic's bone saw clattering to the floor, along with something smaller and more cylindrical.

Medic unit: How DARE--!

I clamped one of my hands over his mouth, and with my other I tried to pull him under my bulk more securely. I expected him to wrestle with me, pulling at my arms in a desperate but ultimately fruitless bid for freedom. But he didn't. He looked over his shoulder at me, his eyes full of an expression I could only describe as venomous, then pulled back one elbow and struck me with all his might in the face. It caught me in the eye. That lens shattered, splintering my vision into a dozen fragments for an instant before it shut off of its own accord. In my disoriented state my grip slackened. Doubtless that was what he was hoping for.

Herr Medic pulled himself from under me by an inch and threw his arm out to grasp the bone saw. I tried to stay on top of him, pulling myself forward with his movement, and he tried to elbow me again. I jerked out of his way, noting that his focus was on me now and not the floor in front of us. My hand darted past his face to the object lying next to his saw. Herr Medic realized what I was doing an instant before the syringe of muscle relaxants he had prepared for the body sank into his neck.

Herr Medic: NO!

He continued to fight even though he knew he had lost. All I had to do was wait. Soon he went as limp as Herr Engineer had before his first procedure all that time ago. He collapsed against the floor, breathing heavily, but still he glared at me out of the corner of his eye.

Herr Medic: M...Machinenmensch?  
0031: Shh, shh.  
Herr Medic: Ich dachte...

He could get out nothing more. I patted him gently on the shoulder.

0031: Entschuldigung. Sie sind ein bessere Mediziner.

I moved him out of the middle of the floor and tried to make him comfortable, but I did not take too long. There was work to be done. 

Using the wall I pulled myself to my wheel before approaching Herr Engineer once more. Carefully, very carefully, I pulled his hat from his head to expose the metal and glass dome housing his unorthodox processor, along with the wires connecting it to his body. I pulled one from its connector, then switched him back on. His eyes lit up, but he stayed still as I knew he would.

E-001: What happened? Why can't I move?  
0031: I need to talk with you Herr Engineer. I'm sorry.  
E-001: Sorry? Sorry about--

He cut himself off. I could almost hear his thoughts in his head. The muffled sounds of battle continued in the background.

E-001: Stephen, please explain to me exactly what is going on.  
0031: The robots did not want to arrange a cease fire. They are going to come und take us by force. I... I do not want it to come to that.  
E-001: So you're gonna take me instead. Is that it?

I shook my head. I could feel my hands shaking a little bit.

0031: Not if you will listen to reason. Herr Engineer, bitte, they will take us one way or another. If your friends do not stand down they will be massacred, und we do not know if respawn is working or not at the moment.  
E-001: You really think us going back is gonna stop Gray from doing what he wants to them?  
0031: If we ask--  
E-001: "Herr" Gray don't care about anybody but himself. I've told you that before. He'll listen for as long as it gets him what he wants, but they still stand between him and Mann Co. You know they won't surrender, especially not on Gray's terms, and the instant we're safely locked up in a tank again they're history.

I felt.... I do not know what I felt at these words. It was as though something inside me were growing rigid and heavy. Like I was preparing myself to do something.

0031: I am sorry we must disagree on this point.  
E-001: I'm just sorry you can't accept the truth.

I did not reply as I moved around to where his brain was again.

E-001: You're really gonna do it? Nothing I can say to change your mind?  
0031: Goodbye, Herr Engineer.

I unplugged another wire, and he fell silent. And then... there is not much else to say.

I took the brain. I did the right thing. Herr Gray, if you look through these files when I return, I want you to know that I did the right thing.

And now I am going home.

/entry_19


	20. Chapter 20

entry_20

2333 hours, February 13, 1973.

I forgot the Pyro. I thought I could get out of the base undetected, but it came for me.

It was just after I had placed the brain into the storage unit Herr Medic had prepared that it pushed the door open. The head with its mask tilted to the side as Pyro took in the scene. There was Herr Medic stirring feebly next to the wall. There was Herr Engineer, motionless on the gurney with his head open. And there I stood in front of Pyro with an organic processor in one hand and Herr Medic's bone saw in the other.

And the Pyro screamed. I have never heard it make a sound like that before. Even on the battlefield you would almost think it was playing a game with the way it acts, and at the base I hardly saw it troubled about any injuries or hardships. But there was nothing confused in that noise it made, just fury so pronounced even I had no trouble identifying what it was. And then it came at me with its flamethrower ready.

If it hadn't stopped to cry out, I might not have escaped. As it was I only just managed to shove past it and into the hall without getting burned, the saw dropping from my hands in the process. A burst of yellow light cast each crack and plank of the hallway into relief, and I wheeled at the fastest speed I could manage to put distance between myself and the site of the operation. Shuffling footsteps followed me, and even though it meant nothing good for my situation it did at least mean that Pyro would not inadvertently burn down the surgery along with its occupants. And I was still faster than Pyro. The door to the outside stood up ahead. I was going to make it.

Then it opened, and I pulled up so suddenly I almost toppled over. Miss Pauling stood in the doorway.

We stared at each other for a moment, and I remember so many pointless details even now, things that do not matter but cling to my processor anyways. She was small and slender for a figure that had been haunting my fears since I had joined the base, and she seemed cleaner than most of the others save perhaps Spy and sometimes Herr Medic. Her eyes were wide in an expression I could only ever interpret as utter shock. I am sure if I were human-- what a fanciful thing for me to say-- the expression would be mirrored in my own features.

Before either of us had time to move, I flew sideways into the wall. It took 0.24 seconds longer than usual for me to realize what had happened, perhaps a side-affect of living with humans for too long or because Herr Medic jarred a connection when he was defending himself. Either way, I could see the Pyro advancing slowly on me with that flamethrower still held up. Apparently it had air blasted me away from the door, and now both it and Miss Pauling were between me and freedom. She raised her gun and her radio simultaneously, glaring down the barrel at me. The surprise was already gone from her features.

I dropped to the floor, curling myself around the brain to protect it. The bullet sank into the wall where my head had been.

Miss Pauling: Intruder in the building, I repeat, we've got a robot in the base!

My free hand scrabbled at the wall, but it slipped over the planks without catching on to anything. There wasn't time to pull myself up anyways as Pyro cast its shadow across my field of view. I turned over to try crawling away past Miss Pauling; she took a step back from me as she reloaded her gun, looking incredibly composed.

Pyro's boot slammed down on my wheelstalk, and I fell pinned against the floor. I spun my head around. The creature had leaned forward so the bulk of its weight pressed down on me, and I could see my single working optic's glow reflected in the lenses of its mask. I am sure that Pyro is not a robot, but the expressionless state of its mask reminded me of one for just an instant. The flamethrower descended, pilot light waving centimeters from my face. In my peripheral vision, I could just see Miss Pauling taking aim again.

I rolled the brain toward her. If I was unable to escape from Pyro, there was no need for both of us to be destroyed.

0031: Catch, bitte!

Her gaze flicked down to the metal and glass orb with obvious bewilderment, and the gun lowered slightly. But I did not take the time to watch what she did next; instead I spun my upper body completely around so my back was against the ground and my arms could stretch upward toward Pyro. Just like when Herr Engineer and I had fought the robots, I grabbed hold of the flamethrower with both hands and jerked it hard to the side.

Pyro roared at me again. Flame streamed around us in drunken circles, but it could not aim at me properly. And even through the confusion I could hear Miss Pauling, who had been very much distracted from our fight.

Miss Pauling: Is that a brain?!

A burst of static accompanied by Sniper's voice, sharp and questioning, responded to her question. I glanced over again to see her raise the two way radio to her mouth.

Miss Pauling: It's what the robot had with it! No, I don't know where it came from-- wait, is Medic with the others?

Sniper's voice let out a stream of heated noises that were almost certainly swears.

He knew.

In my distraction, my grip loosened slightly. Pyro managed to wrestle the weapon out of my hands, but it staggered back a step from the force of its pull, thus freeing my wheelstalk. I had to act now or all would be lost.

I swung the lower half of my body toward its leg with a swift axe-like chop. Pyro toppled with a thud.

My wheel spun to propel me toward the wall. I curved my back and neck so the force pushed me upright once I collided with its surface then held out my arms to regain my balance. The Pyro was still in the process of righting itself, and Miss Pauling was still distracted by the steady stream of curses coming from the radio.

I grabbed the brain from the floor and took off past her toward the door.

0031: Danke Fraulein!

I was answered with another gunshot. The bullet buried itself in the doorframe next to my head as I sped outside.

Miss Pauling: Sniper, what the hell is going on?!

It was all open flat asphalt now. On my wheel I had a distinct advantage over my pursuers, both of whom I could hear shouting behind me. I wove back and forth to make landing any more shots difficult. But soon Miss Pauling wasn't the only one shooting at me. At a crack most dissimilar from the sound of her pistol, I chanced a look backward over my shoulder. A small dark silhouette stood against the sky over the rooftop, rifle up and poised. Sniper.

I just kept going though. There were only 20.5 meters between me and the fence, approximately. I swerved to the left so that I would leave plenty of space between the distracted mercenaries holding the front lines and myself. But even as I approached, Miss Pauling's shouts began to attract their attention.

Miss Pauling: Guys, look out!  
Soldier unit: MISS PAULING, WE ARE BLOWING UP ROBOTS RIGHT NOW!  
Pyro unit: (muffled screaming)  
Heavy unit: What is wrong? Why is Doktor not here yet?

The Heavy turned during a lull in the attack to see Miss Pauling firing more shots in my direction. His brow rose when he saw me next to the fence.

Heavy unit: MISS PAULING STOP! IS NOT BAD!  
Miss Pauling: What are you talking about? Why was that thing in the base?!  
Demolitions unit: Oi, what's he got in his hands there?

I pulled myself through the hole in the fence and shot off through the trees without waiting to hear her reply. The trees did not block out the low rumble of confused murmurs that was the others responding to her. Or Heavy's roar of anger afterward, for that matter.

I have been hiding in a clump of trees some ways from the fence, waiting for 0396 to contact me again. I hope he comes soon. There were footsteps here earlier; I think one of them has come after me.

/entry_20


	21. Chapter 21

entry_21

2358 hours, February 13, 1973.

If anything happens to the Scout, he brought it upon himself.

I did not ask to be followed into the woods. I did not want for him to chase me or to meet up with my old colleagues, but of course that is exactly what happened. I cannot trouble myself about it. It is not my fault, and he cannot be my friend anymore because Herr Gray probably would not like that for obvious reasons. Not that he wants to be my friend, but that is beside the point.

0396 and 0395 were not long in finding me, and both were overjoyed to see the brain.

0395: Aw MAN humans have weird processors! I bet if I touched that, it'd be like soft and wet and stuff.  
0031: You will NOT touch it. Only Herr Gray und myself will touch it, so take me to him.  
0396: What's got your wires twisted?  
0031: I am very stressed. I had to escape three people in the base und outwit Herr Engineer which was no easy task.  
0396: Heh, you got the part fast enough. It couldn't have been THAT hard; the guy's part human, and not the Maker.

That made me a bit angry, somehow, but I never got to say my retort because then there was a noise behind us in the trees, a noise like someone running into something. Then there was a voice that I recognized but hoped I would not hear again so soon.

Scout unit: Ow!

Both Scoutbots dashed into the woods before I could say anything to stop them. It sounded as though the human Scout had run directly into a tree in the dark. Soon there was the sound of a scuffle. I didn't have to wait long before all three burst out of the trees, the robots grappling with Scout and slowly getting the upper hand. Each had one of his arms, but when he saw me a wave of anger took him and he wrenched out of their grip to run at me. I just stared at him in surprise.

Scout unit: YOU DIRTY FUCKING TRAITOR! OW!

He said "ow" because he punched me in the face. Scout didn't have any further chances to harm himself because then 0395 pulled him back away from me. He held his arms behind his back 

0395: Well what do we got here?  
Scout unit: A world of hurt, that's what! Let me go!  
0031: Scout, you do not belong out here. Go back.  
Scout unit: I ain't talking to you! We trusted you and you turned on us!  
0031: You do not understand the full situation.  
Scout unit: Like HELL I don't! Y--

0396 hit him in the gut to make him be quiet.

0396: Sheesh.  
0395: Just shoot him already. We don't have time for this.  
0031: No!

All three of them glared at me. Scout still looked angry, while I think the other two were just annoyed.

0396: What are we supposed to do? We can't just let him go! The Maker--  
0031: I know, I know, just let us... let us take him to Herr Gray, bitte.  
0395: Why?

I raised my voice and pulled myself up to my full height.

0031: So that we will have a hostage, Dummkompf! Think for a moment: if once we get back to Herr Gray und deliver the brain to him, there will still be these mercenaries standing in his path. Und also there is a chance of the respawn not working at the moment, but there is also a chance that it is. Killing him would do no good if that is the case, and we will have to fight him again. But if we take him--  
0395: We've already been over this genius; they're surrounded! It ain't like--  
0031: Do you not think that I know this? But you underestimate the strength of der Fleischmenschen. Only six of them at a time have we ever faced before, und they have still turned our forces aside. Now we will be facing eight, nine if you include Miss Pauling, und we would be fools not to include her. 

The two Scoutbots looked at each other. I expected them to argue further, but they only muttered quietly. Scout began to catch his breath.

Scout unit: You freakin'... freakin' rat...

I did not look at him. What he said could not do anything to change the situation. Finally the other two units turned to me.

0395: Okay Okay, 0031, we'll bring the human along, since you've got this all figured out.  
0396: Yeah, I mean you're older than us, so you've GOT to know best, right?  
0031: Just shut up und take us to Herr Gray.

And so we marched swiftly though the trees, and we are still marching. Scout has slowed us down only marginally. From the sounds of battle it would seem there is little change in the situation at the front. The tank is not far off, but even so I am starting to worry; I do not like how 0396 and 0395 keep looking at me, as though they suspect something is amiss even though I have secured the processor as promised.

There is nothing behind their fears. Again, Herr Gray, if you are reading this, I should hope that you do not mistake the prevention of the Scout's death as an act of sentiment or mercy. I only care about carrying out your will.

We are now here at the doors of the tank. Soon I will speak with my Master, and all will be as it should.

/entry_21


	22. ERROR

**ERROR_REPORT_154**

**AT 0007 02-14-1973 UNIT 08-M-0031 ENCOUNTERED THE FOLLOWING ERROR:** _Unknown processing error._  
 **POSSIBLE CAUSES OF THE ERROR INCLUDE:** _Unknown._  
 **EVENTS PRECEDING THE ERROR AS PERCEIVED BY THIS UNIT ARE RECORDED HERE FOR FUTURE ANALYSIS:**

_0001 hours: Unit was granted access to tank 871. Units 08-SC-0395 and 08-SC-0396 accompanied it and one hostage to the level 1 main hall. All systems were functioning normally._

_0003 hours: Unit and others were received in level 1 main hall by Master Gray accompanied by 09-SL-0484. Processor temperature increased by 0.043 K. Slight tremors detected in motors A, B, C, and D._

0031: I have returned, Herr Gray.  
Master Gray: And with the brain, just as I asked; you have done well. But why did you bring that idiot here?  
Scout unit: Watch who you're calling idiot you b--  
0396: (Delivered blow to the Scout unit's midsection.)  
0395: He followed 0031 into the woods and we caught him.  
0396: We were just gonna shoot him but 0031 said not to. We, uh, we ain't in trouble or nothing for that, are we?  
Master Gray: (Directed gaze at 0031. Expression was neutral.) No, you aren't.

_Tremors in motors A, B, C, and D increased slightly in magnitude._

0031: I apologize for what I have done in the past, but I have brought you the processor. If you doubt my loyalty, that should be enough proof at least. I did not spare the Scout for any merit of his own, but because--  
Master Gray: I don't want to hear excuses. Give me the brain.

_Processor temperature increased by 0.501 K._

0031: As you wish it, Herr Gray. Here. (Offered unknown organic processor to Master Gray.)  
Master Gray: (Accepted processor.) What's this device it's in? Something of your making?  
0031: N-no, it is something I tricked H-- I mean, the human Medic into designing, to hold the brain until I could deliver it.  
Scout unit: I ought to rip off your fucking--  
0395: Shut UP!  
Master Gray: (Snorted.) That seems unnecessary. You could have just brought the whole head.

_Tremors in motors A, B, C, and D became visible. Processor temperature increased by 0.442 K._

0031: Herr Gray, bitte, I did record some of the events from my exile in my internal reporting program. If you are doubting my reasons or actions, you can look there to see--  
Master Gray: There's no scarring.

_Processor temperature increased by 0.937 K. Sensory input signals interrupted by unknown interference._

0031: W-was, bitte?  
Master Gray: (Thrusted processor toward unit. Expression was angry.) Look, robot. Do you see any of the insertion points from the surgery? Do you see signs that ANYTHING has been done to this brain before its extraction?  
0031: I-I, ah... ah, no, Herr Gray. That is strange, I don't--  
Master Gray: Where did you get this brain?

_Processor temperature increased by 1.200 K._

0031: Please Herr Gray. Please understand, this is a very gut brain, und you could use it--  
Master Gray: Where. Did. You. Get this?  
0031: I-I took it from the clone that Herr Medic und I made.

_Processor temperature increased by 3.010 K._

Master Gray: ...ah. I see.  
Scout unit: Wait, what the hell are you talking about?  
0031: Bitte Herr Gray, this brain is still intelligent. It is a facsimile of Herr Engineer's; you do not need him anymore if you could just--  
Master Gray: (Turned to unit 0484.) Call the units back from the front and tell them to convene in the woods around the tank. Tell someone to prepare the microphone as well. Once the mercenaries realize we have their Scout they'll come, just like they came for E-001. We'll be prepared for them this time.  
0484: YES SIR! (Exited main hall.)  
0031: But Herr Gray--!  
Master Gray: (Turned to 0395 and 0396.) You two, go secure the Scout.  
0396: Where do you want him?  
Master Gray: I don't care so long as he's out of the way.  
0031: Herr Gray, listen to me! (Grasped Master Gray's shoulder.)  
Master Gray: (Pulled roughly away from unit.)  
0031: Ach! (Fell to the ground.)

_Fall may have jarred small parts loose. Tremors in motors A, B, C, and D stopped. Processor temperature increased by 5.933 K._

Master Gray: (Leaned over unit. Expression was disgusted.) You were right. I do not need "Herr Engineer" anymore, as you've taken to calling him, but this isn't about necessity.  
0031: Ich verstehe nicht.  
Master Gray: (Turned to 0395 and 0396.) Take this one with you. I don't want anyone tripping over it in the hallway.  
0396: You got it! (Grasped wheelstalk and dragged unit backward down the hall.)  
0031: Ich verstehe nicht.

_0007: Severe processing error. Unit ceased responses to external stimuli. Processor temperature remained stable._

**WAS THIS REPORT USEFUL? Y/N  
PLEASE LEAVE ANY FEEDBACK TO HELP US IMPROVE YOUR ERROR REPORTING SOFTWARE EXPERIENCE IN THE SPACE PROVIDED BELOW:**

ich verstehe nicht

 

**/ERROR_REPORT_154**


	23. Chapter 23

entry_22

0039 hours, February 14, 1973.

I cannot move or see anything of my surroundings. It seems that unit 0395 was less willing to forget that I beheaded him last month than he appeared; he struck me with his bat after shoving the Scout ahead of me into what I can only assume is a holding cell. It broke through my stupor, but it also caused my working eye to come out of its socket. It is for the moment useless. My inability to move is doubtless due to an inhibitor similar to the one Herr Gray had used on E-001 in the past. All the better; there isn't much reason for me to do anything anyways.

There is no point lying any further in this journal. I took the cloned brain and left E-001 intact in the surgery along with Herr Medic. The mercenaries will have certainly found them both and turned him back on by now; I reconnected the wires I had pulled from his processor before I left so they would be able to. At the time, it seemed that it would have been the best solution for everyone. I would go back to where I belonged. Herr Engineer would still be with his friends and with a fully functional body all to himself. Herr Gray would have a processor identical to the one he desired so greatly. He could make an E-002, one that would not have known any other life besides the days he had spent strapped to Herr Medic's gurney. Everyone could be where they were supposed to be.

I am the stupidest, most worthless creature in existence. What else would have thought it a good idea to lie to its creator? What else would have thought that it knew better or that it had a plan to circumvent the ire of the one who gave them life? The only thing I have achieved is to enrage both him and the only-- the other humans against me. I am done trying to be more than myself.

What will happen now, I cannot say. Influencing the actions of my betters is something I have no interest in now. Perhaps the mercenaries will manage to free the Scout. It is only my fault that he is in this situation; hopefully he will not suffer further for my error. Spy may have contacted the Administrator, in which case she might be able to get them out of this wretched siege.

Herr Gray has not had me destroyed yet, but he probably will unless he decides to do further research on why we robots develop in the way that we do. Perhaps he'll find a way to stop it from happening anymore. I can't say that I care much.

This may be my last entry. Goodbye.

/entry_22


	24. Chapter 24

entry_23

0101 hours, Wednesday, February 14, 1973.

I am confused.

Ten minutes ago, I could feel pressure on my side. The Scout was shaking me.

Scout unit: Come on Steve, I know you ain't... agh, hang on. What did they do again?

I couldn't bring myself to care much about what he did, but I was surprised to feel him fumbling with the plates near my neck. Something jiggled, something that felt foreign, and suddenly it gave way. It must have been the inhibitor because I was able to move again.

Scout unit: Awesome, okay look Steve, you've gotta tell me how to fix your eye.

I rolled over on my side so I faced away from the sound of his voice. My eye flopped uselessly from a few wires; I could feel it bump against my face. Scout tried to roll me back over to face him.

Scout unit: Quit being an asshole and talk to me, will you? I think you owe me something.

I pushed him away, but he skirted my arm and pressed at my neck again. And then the inhibitor was back. My arm fell limp to the floor, and his hands went to my face.

Scout unit: Fine, be like that. I'll figure it out myself.

It galled me that I couldn't make him leave me alone at the very least, but the feeling of annoyance passed even as he jostled my face plates rather roughly. It wasn't as though it mattered what happened next. If he ruined my eye, well that would just be one less part of me for Herr Gray to dismantle later.

But to my surprise Scout's persistence paid off. The eye scraped inside of its socket as he clumsily began to screw it in, and my vision blinked back on. The first thing I saw was him grinning down at me in satisfaction.

Scout unit: Heh, that wasn't too hard. Now I'm gonna take that thing out of your neck again, and you're gonna give me some answers. You got that Steve? Don't bother trying to play hardball because you won't win.

He waited for a minute before remembering that the inhibitor kept me from being able to speak. He knelt and pulled it out again.

0031: Leave me alone bitte.  
Scout unit: I'll leave you alone after you tell me what the hell you did.  
0031: I told Herr Gray; weren't you listening?  
Scout unit: Well yeah, but that was you talking to Gray. I want to hear what you did straight up. No lies or nothing, I'm serious. I don't know how pissed off at you I should be yet.

I pushed myself into a sitting position. The holding cell isn't very big, just a gray square of sheet metal with a sliding door in one end. I stared at the corner, refusing to look up at the Scout.

0031: I took the brain from the clone Herr Medic und I made for Herr Engineer. It is unlikely that any fate that befalls it here will be much more unpleasant than what Herr Medic intended it for anyways. I thought it would be better that way because Herr Engineer is so unhappy in this place. But I don't belong with the rest of you. I never was human, not like him, und Herr Gray is my master. He made me, so he is in charge.

The Scout crossed his arms.

Scout unit: Man, I can't believe you. I thought you liked us.  
0031: This has nothing to do with personal preference.  
Scout unit: Oh yeah? What is it about? Sucking up to Gray so you can be his favorite trashcan? Or--

I looked up into his face as the annoyance returned.

0031: It is about doing what I am supposed to do, imbecile. I don't expect you to understand.  
Scout unit: Pfft. I think I understand plenty.  
0031: I am not trying to 'suck up' to anyone, not even Herr Gray! I am trying to figure out what it is that I am supposed to do! Herr Gray made me; ergo, he is in charge und I should do as he says. He did not, however, make Herr Engineer, who is free to make his own decisions.  
Scout unit: Do you have a wire loose or something? Gray is probably going to KILL YOU.  
0031: Und that changes the situation how? Tell me human Scout, since you are so knowledgeable about such things, what system is worth anything if it is abandoned at the first sign of danger. This isn't about making Herr Gray like me; this is about... about how things are supposed to be, or... morals, perhaps. I do not know the proper word.

The Scout frowned.

Scout unit: Yeah, except you lied to him.  
0031: Well that was just... Herr Engineer is able to make his own decisions, I didn't wish to--  
Scout unit: But you still lied to him, even if he's supposed to be, like, right about everything or whatever. How does that fit in?

I glared at him for a moment as I tried to find the best way to respond. It was difficult.

0031: You said you would leave me alone after I explained what I did.  
Scout unit: Well I still don't get it, so you need to explain more.  
0031: Scout, you do not understand because you are not a robot. Nothing I can tell you will make you see what I mean, so this is entirely pointless.

He watched me for a moment longer, miraculously quiet. I could not ascertain what he was thinking from the look on his face.

Scout unit: You know, that sounds like some sort of daddy-issues thing.  
0031: Gott in Himmel, what are you blathering about now?  
Scout unit: Just shut up and listen. Like... okay. 

He sat down next to me, looking as though it were taking all of his concentration to figure out what he wanted to say.

Scout unit: Take me and my ma for example.  
0031: What?  
Scout unit: I've got a point, just listen. See, my ma and me are pretty close. If she's got something she needs me to do or whatever, she asks me, and I do it, see how that works?  
0031: I suppose.  
Scout unit: Yeah, and it's because I care about her. But the thing is, one reason I care about her so much is cause she cares about me too. When I was little she'd change my diaper and feed me and crap, and then I got older and she tried to help me out in school and keep all of us out of trouble so me and my brothers wouldn't spend the rest of our lives in prison. I mean, it only kinda worked, but you know. And when I stop by her place now, she usually makes me like a ton of food and asks me how work is and makes sure I'm not hurting myself too bad out there.  
0031: Scout, what is your point?

Scout frowned as though trying to figure out the point himself.

Scout unit: I just mean like... it seems kind of like you see Gray as your dad. Except he's not a real good dad if he doesn't care about you, is he?

I stared at him.

0031: Herr Gray is not mein Vater. He is my Maker. It's different.  
Scout unit: Hey, I'm just putting in my two cents, okay? Just think on it, and I'll try to figure out some way to get us out of here.  
0031: Do you really think that's possible?

Scout shrugged.

Scout unit: Maybe not, but there's no way the guys are gonna let us go without a fight.  
0031: Correction: they will not let you go without a fight, Scout.  
Scout unit: For a robot you're kind of a moron. Did you know that?  
0031: Just leave me alone.

He did. Unfortunately now I cannot get his words out of my head. Herr Gray is my Master; it is not comparable to human familial relations. I doubt if there is any way to make the Scout understand that. But all the same...

All the same I did lie to him, didn't I? 

/entry_23


	25. Chapter 25

entry_24

0125 hours, Wednesday, February 14, 1973.

This is absurd. 0396 has informed me that Herr Gray does not care what I do at the moment, and that if I'm lucky he might only have me looked over before setting me back to work. Apparently it was 0395 and he who decided to install the inhibitor because (and I quote):

0396: I dunno, we thought it'd be funny.

What is the meaning of this? I betrayed Herr Gray. I am a traitor, a friend of his enemies, and he's going to just set me back to work as though nothing happened? He has at least acknowledged Scout as a threat. Scout's incarceration was due to the Maker's orders, not the petty grudge of a robot, but he did NOTHING. He stumbled after me blindly into the woods and got himself captured, whereas I lied to his face. I extracted the brain by myself, I fooled Herr Medic and Herr Engineer and everyone else, and that counts as nothing because I am not human? They even left the cell door open!

Is there some variable in this that I do not understand? It seems impossible that Herr Gray would have just forgotten that I had a hand in what happened, or that without saying anything he has chosen to pardon me entirely. Certainly those Schwachsinnigen might have misunderstood him, or they might just be taunting me. But then that doesn't explain why they left the door open. They wouldn't have done so unless they genuinely didn't think Herr Gray would care, would they?

Agh, this is too much. I should ask him. If he honestly does not care, then he will not mind if I leave this room. And perhaps I will get to see something of the hostage negotiat

Who is there?

/entry_24


	26. Chapter 26

entry_25

0213 hours, Wednesday, February 14, 1973.

Those idiot mercenaries won't leave well enough alone. They would do better to just negotiate with Herr Gray for Scout instead of sending people into the tank. The last time was different as there was no alternative to attacking the headquarters to get Herr Engineer back, not to mention they had the advantage of surprise on their side. This time Herr Gray expects them, and they have a chance of avoiding the inevitable disaster this next reckless plan of theirs is bound to be if they simply choose to talk instead of fight. But I am getting sidetracked.

When I looked out into the hallway after 0396 and 0395 left with Scout, I saw only a movement to one side of the door before something shaped distinctly like a gun barrel pressed itself to the back of my head. I stood very still.

0031: H-human Spy? Is that you?

The slight pressure against my head was relieved after a moment's hesitation. At the same time someone grabbed my arm and pulled me backward into the cell. I did not resist, instead opting to look at the human's silhouette as he slipped around me to close the door. The light of my optics revealed a sight that surprised me. It was not the Spy who had come into Herr Gray's base, but the Sniper.

0031: What are you doing here? This is very unsafe!

He turned toward me as soon as the door was closed except for a crack. One of his hands was still clenched around his submachine gun while the other was fingering the hilt of his kukri. The tension of the muscles around his mouth informed me that he was not pleased.

Sniper unit: Where's the Scout?  
0031: Ah, well, 0396 und 0395 took him away, I think for the negotiations Herr Gray is planning.  
Sniper unit: Piss.  
0031: Why did they not send the Spy?

He glared at me.

Sniper unit: Don't reckon that's any of your business.  
0031: I-I am sorry, I did not mean to--  
Sniper unit: Just shut up and let me think for a mo.

The Sniper rubbed his forehead and looked down at the floor, apparently in the midst of intense concentration. I rocked on my wheel. It felt very awkward, being in his presence.

0031: You are mad at me.  
Sniper unit: Yes, I bloody well am mad at you. And I told you to shut up.  
0031: Bitte, there is going to be a negotiation. There is no reason for you to--  
Sniper unit: There'd be no reason for me to be here at all if you hadn't gone mucking about with the robots.

I hesitated, then fell silent and wrung my hands. It was unpleasant to hear this because it was true.

0031: Are Herr Engineer und Herr Medic all right?

Sniper glared at me again, evidently quite annoyed. At first I thought he was going to ignore my question.

Sniper unit: Doc was still having trouble stringing two words together when I left. Truckie's up and about but pissed off.

That twisting feeling of guilt happened inside of me. Herr Engineer and the other mercenaries had every reason to be upset with me, but the thought of it made me unhappy. It would be nice if they could understand my predicament, but well. They are not robots. Not even Herr Engineer, really.

0031: You should go then. I do not want you to be caught, und the Scoutbots may return before long.

He turned on me with a strange (in a way that Herr Engineer calls "funny") look on his face. His free hand toyed with his kukri again.

Sniper unit: You don't think I'm leaving you here, do you?  
0031: Was? But you were angry with me. You were not even looking for me, und how do you even know I am not another Medibot pretending? Or that I will go with you?  
Sniper unit: You're going with me because you don't have a choice. Dell told me to bring you back, and it wasn't a request.

I hesitated, taken aback. Herr Engineer strikes me as someone who could be very frightening if angered sufficiently; the command to bring me back might be for my own good, as he sees it, or something more akin to a threat. Sniper continued.

Sniper unit: Besides, you know quite a bit about us now, having lived with us for a while. If I didn't take you back, I'd have to consider you a loose end and... tie you off, if you get my meaning.  
0031: Er, vaguely, but I think that may be enough. Still how do you know--?  
Sniper unit: Dell said you had a busted eye when you last talked to him. Plus you're the most dented up piece of trash in this stinking place.

It seemed wise to overlook this insult instead of being offended.

0031: Und if I refuse to accompany you?

He raised the gun and pointed it at my head.

Sniper unit: I think you'll find coming with me's a more do-able option pretty quick then, mate.

Quite suddenly a feeling of frustration came up in me, more strongly than any fear I felt. I wrested the gun from his hand. Whether out of surprise or something else, he did not attempt to fire.

Sniper unit: Oi, that's mine!  
0031: Sniper, stop this. It is as you have said, I have spent almost a month with you now. You gave me a name.  
Sniper unit: Yeah I did, and then you stabbed us in the back like a damned spy. What the hell did you want to go off with Gray for, eh? He's been doing his best to kill us off!  
0031: No he has not! If he merely wished to kill you, he could have done that already! He besieged the base, certainly, but you are all alive und well!  
Sniper unit: Oh, fine, and what he did to Dell, he's well too ain't he? That was a real funny joke he pulled wasn't it, robot-izing him?  
0031: No! I know Herr Engineer does not... he just does not understand. But I have been helping him to be repaired, have I not? His new body, that is partly the result of my efforts. Und I did not bring his brain back for Herr Gray.  
Sniper unit: Then what the bloody hell are you doing coming back here?  
0395: We were kinda askin' ourselves the same question.

Sniper turned toward the door, simultaneously pulling his bow from his back in one fluid movement. An arrow was already on the string. I spun around as well. 0395 and 0396 were standing in the doorway, weapons out. I rolled back toward the wall slightly.

0031: You did not bring your rifle?  
Sniper unit: Figured this was a good time for something quieter.  
0395: Didn't help you much though, did it meat-bag?

The other robots moved in on us. I clutched at the submachine gun, hoping that I looked angry and not frightened. Sniper did not flinch.

0396: Man, you would not BELIEVE how much I was hoping this would happen. I mean, I like cavin' a skull in as much as the next guy, but I've been looking for an excuse to get you back since January.  
0395: Yeah. How's the bird anyways? Was it worth the beating you're about to get?  
0031: Drei is perfectly well, but you will not be if you do not leave at once.

Sniper gave me another sidelong glance as he kept his bow trained on our advancing adversaries.

Sniper unit: Friends of yours, Steve?  
0031: Ah, after a fashion, but it seems being punctured und beheaded was not something they appreciated.

0395 pulled up short. His words sounded incredulous as he turned his attention more fully upon me.

0395: Hold up, did Fleshie just call you Steve? What are you, like their pet or someth--

Sniper's arrow was through his eye before he could pull the trigger of his scattergun. 0396 jumped over his compatriot even as he fell. Sniper reached for another arrow, but the Scoutbot's bat swung through the air and caught him hard in the side.

The mercenary fell backward with a string of curses as the bow was knocked from his hands. 0396 moved in to press his advantage but got a slash across his midsection from the kukri for his trouble. It was a wild swing that did little more than send sparks flying from where it scored 0396's plating, but it caused the Scoutbot to retreat all the same. Sniper stooped for his bow.

0396: You fleshy BASTARD!

He surged forward again, and this time Sniper wasn't quick enough. The bat caught him in the side of the head. He staggered sideways into the wall, bleeding with his glasses hanging from one ear, and slid down into a dazed heap on the floor. 0396 advanced on him again, a little more slowly as though thinking about where he'd best like to strike him next. As his fingers twitched at the handle of his bat, I raised the submachine gun and squeezed the trigger.

0396: OW! Screw off!

He spun away from the Sniper and with the same movement swung his bat toward me. I couldn't get off another shot before I was on the ground again, my shoulder aching where he had hit me. The gun went spinning out of my reach. 0396 towered over me, and I had been so long with the humans that the complete lack of expression, the perfectly round lights of his eyes, the strange jerky movements caused something inside of me to quail. I scooted back away from him.

0396: No freakish robo-man here to save you this time, pal. Just you and me, for however long I want this to take. Seems strange sayin' it's gonna be fun, but Gray's probably right. I'm just getting older and, uh, developing. That's the word.  
0031: You did not call him Master Gray.  
0396: Yeah, well he ain't here to hear me right now, is he?

I dragged myself back a little more, partly terrified at this development and partly annoyed at how often I found myself on the ground these days. My hand hit something solid; it took me a moment to realize it was the fallen 0395. He was blocking my way backward.

0396 lifted his bat. He was trembling as though he could not wait to get started.

0396: Okay Stevie, I'm gonna teach you a new trick since the humans ain't taught you to behave properly. Play dead, Stevie.

I pulled the scattergun out from 0395's grip and shot my attacker in the face.

The bat fell on top of me. The force from the gunshot spun 0396 around on one foot, an almost comic figure, before he collapsed. I sat there watching his eyes flicker and go out. I almost expected him to jump back up and continue attacking.

Then the sound of movement made me jump. Sniper was pushing himself up against the wall and wiping a trickle of blood from over his rapidly swelling eye.

Sniper unit: (chuckle) Good boy.

I threw the scattergun down.

0031: Ihre Witze sind Scheiße, Schweinhund!  
Sniper unit: Blimey, calm down. After what you pulled, I think I can make a joke at your expense.

He got to his feet, wincing a little but quite steady, then offered me a hand up. I took it even if I was still annoyed.

0031: What are you going to do now?  
Sniper unit: You said something about a negotiation with Gray, right? That's where Scout is.

I simulated a sigh. It seemed that the options were either to waste precious time arguing in circles again or to simply let him have his way.

0031: Und thus where we are going to go, ja, I see where this is going. I wish to see Gray anyways. 

I paused, dismayed at myself.

0031: Herr. Herr Gray.

He tilted his head. His eye that was not bruised and almost swollen shut regarded me with a look I did not appreciate very much.

0031: It does not matter, Sniper, just please let's go if you are determined to go through with this.

Sniper shrugged and led the way out. I must admit that as I shut the door on the dead Scoutbots, I wondered if this latest escapade would have been enough to get his attention.

/entry_25


	27. Chapter 27

entry_26

0244 hours, Wednesday, February 14, 1973.

I feel an obligation to record the events of the negotiation so that, in the off-chance that I come away from these happenings intact, I might be able to shed some light on exactly what happened. I am still having trouble processing what I have seen.

The negotiation itself was not difficult to find. We simply traveled toward the tank's front door through which I had entered. It seemed most likely that Herr Gray would meet with the mercenaries there as they would not want to come inside and possibly be trapped. We were soon proven correct. As we approached our destination, a good many robots could be seen ahead of us marching in the same direction, most of them Soldiers and Demolitions units and Heavies with some Medicbots as well. Sniper pulled me sideways into an adjoining hallway. He was frowning.

Sniper unit: Right, here comes the tricky part.  
0031: Getting past the other robots without being stopped?  
Sniper unit: Something like that.

He peered back around the corner to watch their progress. I made a throat-clearing noise, which seemed to irritate him. At least, he squinted his eyes a bit as he looked back over his shoulder to me.

Sniper unit: If you're gonna say something spit it out.  
0031: Well, ah, it does not seem likely that they will object to my presence, Sniper. Perhaps you could wait, und I could go see what is happening.  
Sniper unit: And have you run off to help Gray robot-ize the lot of us? Not a chance.

That seemed distinctly unfair.

0031: You know, I have a reason to be unhappy with you as well. You shot at me.  
Sniper unit: Yeah, well I thought you'd run off with my mate's brain. It's a good reason to shoot someone.  
0031: But I didn't, und you are still being--  
Sniper unit: Just shut your bleeding mouth will you? I'm trying to think!

I fell silent even though I did not want to. Sniper peered around the corner again. It suddenly struck me as odd that he was able to get in without being detected. Spy can cloak and disguise himself well enough for infiltration, but Sniper's type of stealthiness is not as well suited for it.

0031: Bitte, if it will help, how did you get inside the tank to begin with?  
Sniper unit: Scaled up the side and busted one of the windows.  
0031: You... but the windows are near the very top of the tank! How--?  
Sniper unit: Had to get in somehow. Getting out that way ain't gonna be an option though, so we're gonna have go forward to get at the Scout and Gray.

I made a frustrated sighing noise.

0031: Sniper, I think that my suggestion from before is the best one. You may not like it, but the fact remains that they will not look twice at me, even the ones that know what I have been doing for the past several weeks. If you wish you can pull further back down the hall und cover me with your bow. If I betray anyone, well, you will be well placed to deal with me.  
Sniper unit: Now that's a thought.  
0031: Ja, as I said! Und look, there is even a crate here. You can push it into the hall und use it as cover. Most of these robots are new models. That means they are very stupid, und if you just keep out of sight you should be all right.  
Sniper unit: Well... all right, as I don't seem to have much in the way of options. You cross us though and I swear to God--  
0031: You will kill me in an unpleasant fashion, ja, I know. Help me to move this crate bitte.

He stopped talking at that point, and between the two of us we managed to move the crate into position. Afterward I did not wait for him to threaten me some more but wheeled swiftly forward to join with the crowd of my brethren. They did not notice me, as I predicted. Herr Gray had commanded them to monitor the mercenaries that had approached the tank. The machines would not watch the halls behind them unless they had been commanded to do so specifically.

With a bit of maneuvering, I was able to secure a position near the lowered door so I could look out on the scene. A fog had descended over the trees; it reflected the floodlights from the tank almost like a sheet of frosted glass. The fence around the base was visible, its gate smashed down, but the buildings behind them had been lost to vapor and darkness.

Six mercenaries stood in the space between the fence and the tank with Miss Pauling at their head. They were approximately ten meters from where I stood, but the mist was not yet thick enough to obscure their features. Demoman and Soldier had placed themselves on either side of the group with uncommonly grim countenances. Their respective grenade and rocket launcher were held by their sides, ready to be brought up into use at a moment's notice. Heavy stood near the center of the group looking more or less how he usually does outside of battle, impassive and a little grumpy perhaps, his own minigun sitting on the ground to his left. I felt a guilty feeling when I realized he was half-supporting Herr Medic. The latter looked as though he might be able to stand on his own, but his eyes were not focused even as they glared murderously in our general direction. The Pyro and Herr Engineer had positioned themselves near Demoman. Pyro was holding onto Herr Engineer's arm as though afraid he might run at the tank, but from this distance it was impossible to decipher what Herr Engineer might be thinking about doing. He seemed almost limp, and his gaze focused itself above all of our heads. There was no sign of the Spy.

Miss Pauling, for her part, watched the crowd of robots with stiff composure. It looked as though I had arrived just after she'd finished saying something. All of the humans seemed expectant, and I had an idea of what they might be waiting for.

Even as I shifted to get a better view, the crowd around me began to part. I moved to the right, peering curiously at the aisle they had opened up, but any questions I had were quickly answered. 0484 marched through our midst. He was steering the Scout in front of him. The Scout's hands were secured behind his back, but for the most part he seemed unharmed; I think he was more embarrassed by his plight than frightened or even angry any more. When they got to the ground just in front of the tank they stopped. Miss Pauling looked a bit less tense.

Scout unit: Uh... hey, fellas! And Miss P, you're looking good and stuff. 

0484 hit him in the back of the head.

0484: SILENCE PRISONER!  
Scout unit: Ow, geez, fine!

And then Herr Gray's voice sounded, magnified over the speakers at the top of the tank. I looked around to see where he was, but I could not find him. For some reason it irritated me to realize that he was not physically present at the negotiations. Did he think the mercenaries would try to assassinate him in the middle of a truce?

Then I remembered where Sniper was positioned, and suddenly I was not so sure that he had no reason to fear.

Master Gray: There. Your friend is alive and just as functional as he ever was. Are you satisfied?  
Miss Pauling: Not really, but it's a start. What do you want for him?  
Master Gray: I think you know what I want. And shouldn't there be nine of you?

Miss Pauling frowned slightly, and I saw the fingers clutching her gun twitch.

Miss Pauling: It doesn't take nine people to handle a hostage situation.  
Master Gray: And it doesn't take more than one to infiltrate a carrier tank, does it?  
Miss Pauling: Gray, we came to the negotiations like you wanted whether or not all of us are present. If you think one of my men could have gotten past the security measures on your tank, then perhaps we should speed this along so you can perform a search.  
Master Gray: Or I could kill you, take what I want, and leave without any repercussions whatsoever.

I hesitated. He was suspicious. For a moment I considered going back to tell Sniper to run, but Miss Pauling's reply took the conversation in a different direction.

Miss Pauling: You're the one who decided to call for us. You wouldn't have set this up unless you had something to gain from talking. Besides, how are you so sure you'd win? These men have taken your robots down time and time again with just six people, and this time I'm with them.  
Master Gray: That counts for so much, I'm sure. Regardless you are correct in that I would prefer a peaceful solution to this hostage situation. I can give you your Scout back and leave you in peace if you hand over what you've stolen from me.

The Scout shifted his weight, looking uneasy. None of the mercenaries seemed happy with this proposition. Engineer alone stood stock still, just staring up at the loudspeakers while Pyro edged in front of him. It was impossible to tell what he was thinking. I sidled my way through the machines to get a bit closer to 0484 and the Scout.

Miss Pauling: Men can't be stolen.  
Master Gray: Really now. I wasn't under the impression that your employer thought much about human rights.  
Miss Pauling: You're not talking to the Administrator; you're talking to me.  
Master Gray: You represent her and the company she owns. The man formerly known as Dell Conagher didn't show much loyalty to TF Industries. Why should you care about what's become of him when the life of another one of its employees hangs in the balance?  
Scout unit: (muttered) He's got a point there, you know.

I was close enough to hear the Scout's words, but I do not think anyone else was besides the other robots. Herr Gray continued.

Master Gray: But those are my terms, as they stand. Your Scout for unit E-001. Make your decision.

The mercenaries were silent. Most of them were looking to Miss Pauling, and she only stared up at the loudspeakers with the utmost rigidity. Then, to my bewilderment, Herr Engineer pushed Pyro aside and stepped forward. Miss Pauling spun around, and for a moment I thought she would shoot him on reflex. She caught herself in time.

Miss Pauling: What are you doing?  
E-001: Nothing. I just got something to say.

His words were not angry, or frightened, or that terrifying defeated tone I have heard him use only once before. He stepped around Miss Pauling into the space between his teammates and the tank. Everyone but him was still and quiet as he pushed at the helmet making up the top of his head. It seemed a very human gesture, something he might have done at any given time before working for Herr Gray but which was only pointless habit now.

E-001: Gray, I've got some terms of my own.  
Miss Pauling: No, don't you dare do something--  
E-001: It's okay, Miss Pauling. Just let me talk.

It was a few seconds before Herr Gray responded. His voice was wary.

Master Gray: You have terms.  
E-001: Yeah. Just between us.  
Master Gray: What's that supposed to mean?

Herr Engineer rocked back on his heels, his lights shining up through the fog like beacons. His next words sounded like nothing more than a statement of fact.

E-001: My terms are that I'm gonna come into that tank. I'm gonna find where you're holed up in there. And I'm gonna rip your head clean off your shoulders.

Herr Gray hesitated for the briefest moment before sighing.

Master Gray: I don't think you understand how terms work, exactly.  
E-001: Only thing I don't understand is why you expected any of us to listen to what you have to say. You haven't exactly given us a reason to trust you.  
Master Gray: You're one to talk. Ah well, no one can say I didn't try. It seemed fair to give you a chance to surrender first, but if you have made your decision I have nothing more to say to you. Goodbye.  
Miss Pauling: Hold on Gray, we're not done yet!

Herr Gray did not respond. He was through talking. All around me the robots were beginning to mobilize. Miss Pauling shot Herr Engineer an irritated look and readied her gun, but Soldier pointed into the mist behind them.

Soldier unit: LOOK ALIVE MEN, THEY'RE CUTTING US OFF!

I groaned. At least forty shadowy figures made indistinct by the fog emerged from the trees to flank the mercenaries. The bursts of light accompanying them signified that at least some of the robots were Pyro units. Medic started toward them with a hand on his syringe gun, one foot still dragging the ground, but Heavy jerked him back by the arm. A wild sort of grin crossed Demoman's face as he readied his weapon.

Demolitions unit: What's the plan then, Miss Pauling? Kill as many of the metal bastards as we can while we're still standing?  
Miss Pauling: NO. Stay alive for as long as possible. If I tell you to run-- damn it, get back here! Engineer!

Herr Engineer was walking toward the tank with quick even strides. Walking, not running. He had one of his shotguns, I think it was the one he calls the Widowmaker, and as needed he used it to blast robots out of his way. They seemed at a loss as to what to do. The units looked at each other as they barred his way, only shooting reluctantly, but he showed no such hesitation to attack. This bewilderment that had taken them at being fired upon by another robot made them easy targets for the sudden explosions no doubt generated from Demoman and Soldier. A shout from nearby startled me out of my observations.

0484: FIRE AT WILL, YOU RUSTED OUT OIL DRUMS, THE MAKER DOESN'T CARE IF THEY'RE ALIVE OR DEAD ANYMORE!

With a jolt, I remembered the Scout. I was the only person situated to help him, if anyone was to help him at all. I spun around against the tide of robots who, to my dismay, had inadvertently been bearing me down the ramp toward the site of conflict. Even amidst the other metal countenances I picked out 0484 immediately, an erect figure more battle-scarred than the rest. He was pulling the Scout backwards into the tank.

I squeezed my way between two Heavies and bowled over a hapless Demolitions unit that didn't get out of my way quickly enough. My line of sight to the Scout was constantly crossed by my brethren, but I could at least see that he was fighting his captor with every ounce of strength he had. Scout tried to dig his heels into the metal ramp, he kicked at 0484's legs, he writhed and bucked and squirmed, and it did a little bit of good. 0484 had to turn his attention more fully on the human even as the units under his command fell to the mercenaries.

0484: DAMMIT MEATBAG, STOP MOVING OR I WILL MAKE YOU STOP MOVING!  
Scout unit: FUCK OFF TRASHCAN!

I pushed my way out from between a confused Medical unit and a Soldier to collide with 0484. He stumbled sideways and let go of the Scout, who regained his balance quickly and turned to face us both. 0484 grabbed my arm and pulled me upright. I tried to pry his fingers from me. Medicbots are not built with the same sort of upper body motors found in Soldierbots, unfortunately, and his grip remained firm.

0484: TREASON!  
Scout unit: Yo stupid, let him--!

The Scout did not finish his sentence. I heard a sound I was all too familiar with, a reverberating crack I had come to associate with immediate peril. Both 0484 and myself were momentarily diverted from our struggle, heads swiveling to find the source of the noise.

The Scout fell forward onto his face. The back of his head was dark and damp with a fluid that needed no further identification. He did not stir.

0484 dropped me in surprise and scrambled over to the body. He seemed as startled by this turn as I felt. His hand passed over the bullet hole, blood staining his fingers, before he jumped to his feet again and looked back and forth wildly.

0484: BUT... BUT THAT SOUNDED LIKE A REVOLVER! WHO DID THIS? WE HAD ORDERS!

I had managed to land on my wheel and began to back away from the body and the Soldier. I did not process it. I had to keep thinking of other things and not about what had happened. That was the only sensible course of action.

Sniper was in the hall. From the arrows sticking out of some of my fellow robots it seemed he had not been idle. Therefore, I had to go back and either fetch him or help him in whatever capacity I could, if I wanted him to survive.

Respawn may still be working. Respawn may still be working, and there is absolutely no point thinking about why the Scout was in his position to start with because there is work to be done. I am not going to think about it. I won't.

/entry_26


	28. Chapter 28

entry_27

0253 hours, Wednesday, February 14, 1973.

I am trying not to panic but the only thing I found by the crate was one of Sniper's arrows and not actually Sniper. There was a little blood but so little that it might have come from a wound he sustained during the fight from earlier. I think he is still alive because he is not here, but what caused him to leave? Hopefully he wasn't stupid enough to try to run out through the door when he saw the situation deterioraHOLEN SIE SICH WEG VON MIR

**This session has been idle for fifteen minutes. Would you like to terminate the program? Y/N**

N

**Session resumed.**

Sorry. I was running-- well, rolling, I do not have legs so I do not, ah, yes. I passed the cell I had been held in earlier and I was not looking where I was going and someone grabbed my coattails that are not really coattails. The sudden jerk from the grab almost knocked me over, but I managed to keep my balance as I turned to see what had stopped me. 

It seems I did not kill 0396 properly. He had crawled out into the hallway with sparks coming from his head and every bit of him shaking uncontrollably. I do not even know if he was able to recognize me; his eyes flickered and were rather dim. As he pushed himself up with his free hand, I noticed that there were lubricating fluids smeared out in his wake, marking the path along which he'd dragged himself out of the cell.

0031: HOLEN SIE SICH WEG VON MIR!  
0396: ...y...hh...r-r-r...

His grip was weak, so it was easy to pull myself free. But as I backed away from him I hesitated. I do not really know why except that I did not altogether like the idea of leaving 0396 crawling and broken on the floor like this. By no means does it make any sense especially given how ready he had been to kill me earlier. It did not matter for long though, because my hesitation allowed me to quickly find out that I had been followed. Unfortunately I was so engrossed with his mangled form that I did not notice the footsteps clanging behind me until they were quite close. 

0484: YES SIR, AS I SAID SIR, THE HOSTAGE HAS BEEN SHOT. (pause) NEGATORY, NONE OF MY MEN WERE ABLE TO SEE WHERE THE SHOT CAME FROM. FROM WHAT WE HAVE BEEN ABLE TO DETERMINE, THERE WAS ONE ROUND FIRED FROM A REVOLVER DIRECTLY THROUGH THE BACK OF HIS SKULL.

I looked up in alarm as 0484 and two Demolitions units rounded the corner. 0484 was talking on a handheld radio similar to the one Miss Pauling had been using earlier. He did not look up immediately, and I began to wheel backward toward where the hallway turned around a corner. The Demolitions units did not respond at first, though it seemed one of them was watching my progress.

0484: SIR YES SIR, I WILL RELAY YOUR ORDERS TO MY TROOPS! OVER AND OUT!

He put away the radio.

0484: PRIVATES, MASTER GRAY HAS A NEW METHOD HE WANTS US TO USE WHEN APPROACHING THE-- TRAITOR!

I rounded the corner as quickly as my wheel could carry me, and not a moment too soon. A rocket exploded just where I had been standing. I skidded and fell hard against the wall as it shook the floor. My shoulder did not appreciate this; it was the same one 0396 had hit with his bat earlier. The reawakened pain gave me pause even though I expected 0484 and his troops to charge around at me at any second.

0484: HOLD YOUR FIRE, WE HAVE A MAN DOWN!  
3055: Ach, what? It's just a wee Scoutbot.  
0396: ...kch...m-me...  
3107: Old unit too from the looks of him.  
0484: PICK HIM UP AND TAKE HIM TO THE NEAREST MEDICAL UNIT. THAT IS AN ORDER 3107.  
3107: What, like the Medic ye just shot at?  
0484: THAT UNIT IS UNTRUSTWORTHY AND DOES NOT EVEN HAVE A MEDIGUN WITH HIM! I WILL DEAL WITH 0031, YOU HELP THE SCOUT.  
3055: But our orders were to find the Engineer, not to go chasing Medics all over the bloody tank!  
0484: HE'S BROKEN, STUPID. IF YOU WERE BROKEN YOU'D GO FIND A MEDIC EVEN IF YOU HAD ORDERS, EXCEPT 0396 CAN'T. THAT IS WHY YOU ARE GOING TO HELP HIM GET TO ONE.

Everyone paused. I kept listening despite my better judgment telling me to run. I had forgotten that 0484 was an old unit as well.

3055: So... we're just supposed to ignore our orders and run along to do something completely pointless?  
0484: NEGATORY. I AM ORDERING YOU TO GO GET THIS UNIT REPAIRED, SO LISTEN TO THE ORDERS I JUST GAVE YOU.  
3107: But Master Gray--  
0484: DAMMIT PRIVATE, I KNOW WHAT MASTER GRAY SAID! IT WAS ME HE SAID IT TO, WASN'T IT? I AM PERFECTLY CAPABLE OF CARRYING OUT MASTER GRAY'S ORDERS MYSELF! BOTH OF YOU ARE DISMISSED FROM THIS MISSION, AND IF I FIND OUT THAT YOU DID NOT HELP THIS SCOUTBOT TO THE FULLEST EXTENT OF YOUR ABILITIES, YOU ARE GOING TO BE THE ONES NEEDING REPAIRS! NOW GO!

It seemed utterly pointless to stand there listening to the Demolitions units grumbling and dragging off 0396, so I moved as quickly and quietly down the hall as I could. 0484 was following closely from the sounds he was making, and soon I had reached the end of the hall. Fortunately a large hatch to a weapons storage room was set into the wall at its end. I opened it as quickly and quietly as I could before slipping inside.

I ran into Sniper so suddenly I almost fell down.

0031: ACH!  
Sniper unit: Shh!

He clamped a hand over my mouthpiece, and I got a good look at him. It did not seem as though Sniper had been harmed further since our adventure in the cell, but he had tied a cloth over his injured eye. A small dark spot near its edge showed that a wound there had begun to bleed. I pulled his hand from my face, a feeling of relief sweeping over me.

0031: Sorry, sorry, you startled me. But why did you leave? I thought you had...  
Sniper unit: I was chasing Engie. He went right past me, didn't even look over.

He turned away to lock the hatch. I am still not any sort of expert when it comes to deciphering the sound of human voices, but his had a sort of tension in it, I think, that made me pause.

0031: Did you see who shot--  
Sniper unit: No.  
0031: I am sorry, I just thought... I did my best to help him. I did not want this to happen.  
Sniper unit: Nothing you could have done. We just got to keep moving.

I could hear 0484's footfalls clanging down the hallway. Sniper was right. There was no time for discussions or thinking about things. He frowned at the hatch.

Sniper unit: Sounds like we've got company.  
0031: Yes, there is a Soldier following me. He is an old unit und suspects that I am not trustworthy. Fooling him will be difficult, but he is alone.  
Sniper unit: Well there's another door in. We'll go out the way we came; I only ducked in here to try and avoid some of your pals.

He motioned for me to follow him as he strode past shelves of ammunition and crates of various stock weaponry. It was a larger room than I had realized, and nearby stood another hatch where he obviously intended to exit. Before we reached it, I could hear the Soldier pounding on the door to the hatch. Sniper paused to thrust something into my hands. The light was dim and his face was cast in shadow under his hat, so I could not see his expression.

Sniper unit: Here. Picked this up when I went back in the cell to scavenge for arrows.

It was the SMG. I looked to him with incredulity.

0031: You trust me with a weapon? Earlier you said--  
Sniper unit: I changed my mind, all right? It's better if you can defend yourself.

I turned it over in my hands as he set to opening the hatch we were taking out of the room. It sounded like 0484 was making progress against the latch Sniper had thrown on the door.

0031: Bitte, which way was Herr Engineer headed?  
Sniper unit: Just shut up and follow me. I'll find him.  
0031: He is probably trying to find Herr Gray though. If I can ascertain where--

The hatch behind us flung open. Sniper pulled me through the door with a curse then kicked it shut behind us. The Soldier unit shouted after us.

0484: SURRENDER TRAITOR! THERE IS NO ESCAPE NOW THAT YOU ARE ON THE TANK!  
Sniper unit: Just keep moving!

And I did. I wheeled right past him down the hallway and around the corner. Doorways blurred into one another on either side of me while the confused sounds of banging metal and 0484's shouts rang out behind me. Sniper was quiet aside from the occasional stealthy footfall I caught amid the other noises. I turned the corner and almost stopped dead in my tracks. Another robot stood in the hallway ahead of us.

But even from the back I recognized his yellow helmet-shaped head plate.

0031: Herr! Herr Engineer!

He did not turn around. I cannot say for certain if he even paused. He just kept marching forward with his gun as though he knew exactly what he was doing and where he was going. That did not deter my enthusiasm.

0031: Sniper, come quickly, I have found him!

I spun around to address him. But the Sniper wasn't there. I slowed.

0031: Sniper?

0484 charged around the corner, the lights of his eyes shining brilliantly enough to be seen coming out from under his helmet. I jumped and raced away from him. A panicking sensation began to creep into my brain. I hadn't heard any sort of scuffle behind me. Had Sniper slipped off to take another route, or had 0484 grabbed him?

The tell-tale "thunk"-ing noise of rockets being loaded into a launcher reached my auditory receptors.

0484: HALT, THAT IS AN ORDER!

I had a fraction of a second to throw myself to one side of the hall as the rocket soared past me. But Herr Engineer had already thrown himself to the floor, avoiding its trajectory entirely, and as soon as it passed over his head he opened fire on 0484. The spread of the bullets was wide enough that I was clipped by some of his buckshot, but the majority of it went into the soldier's right leg. He fell forward with a cry onto his face, and his rocket launcher rolled uselessly beside him.

0484: WAIT, DO NOT PROCEED! UNIT E-001, I AM TALKING TO YOU! DO NOT GO THROUGH THAT DOOR!

Herr Engineer turned away from 0484 and began sauntering down the hall again. I only just realized that there was a very secure looking door at the end of the hall, one that might have been placed on what humans call a "safe-room". And suddenly I realized who might be behind it. I pulled away from the wall and addressed him shakily.

0031: H-herr Engineer? What are you going to do?

He didn't pause or look at me as he replied.

E-001: Don't follow me Steve. You won't like it. And I don't want to have to hurt you.

0484 shouted incoherently and tried to push himself upright, but Herr Engineer was already to the end of the hallway. The locks were strong, but he knew the door's weak points. In a few minutes it was hanging off of its hinges, ripped off with barely even a grunt of exertion from its assailant, and he was gone through it.

I followed him. I had to, because otherwise I would just be in the hall with 0484 and I don't know what Herr Engineer is going to do. It is dark, but this room seems to be some sort of antechamber with another safe-room door behind it, which he is destroying now. I am just being quiet and watching because I do not know what else I can do.

I have the worst of feelings seeping into me.

/entry_27


	29. Chapter 29

entry_28

0329 hours, Wednesday, February 14, 1973.

This is the end. I have passed beyond all hope of redemption. What I have done is inexcusable, and I have no doubt that I will face the full repercussions of my actions. But what else could I have done? I could not have stood idly by and simply allowed him to be killed!

I recall the look I saw on Herr Gray's face when Herr Engineer pried the door from its hinges. There was a slight tilting of the brows, and his eyes widened a noticeable amount while his posture became rigid. Herr Engineer noticed it too, I think. His robotic exterior trembled as he stalked toward him into the room. His eyes seemed almost to glow brighter as they found the man's shape, and when he spoke it was in a quiet, still voice. It unnerved me.

E-001: I never thought I'd be happy to see you, Gray.

Herr Gray met the gaze evenly though his expression did not change. His back was to the wall; the room was small and offered no hiding place from the cold blue lights. I moved in a bit closer behind Herr Engineer through the door.

Master Gray: Ah. I suppose you are--

Herr Engineer grabbed him by the throat and slammed him against the wall at his own eye level. Herr Gray did not struggle much aside from grabbing Herr Engineer's wrists in an attempt to loosen their hold. His face contorted to show not only fear now but anger. Herr Engineer, having a metal face like my own, remained expressionless.

E-001: I wonder what it must be like, knowing that it was something you built with your own hands that's about to kill you.  
Master Gray: Kill... kill me, and you won't... leave here alive. Neither will your friends.

He slammed Herr Gray against the wall again. The old man's pupils lost their focus for a moment. It was difficult sometimes to remember that for all of what Herr Gray was, he was still a frail old human.

E-001: I'm sure they'll be just fine. Listening to you was the first mistake I made, and I don't think I'll make it again. You're done.

His free hand reached toward Herr Gray's head to fulfill his promise from earlier. His fingers, each as thick as two of Herr Gray's, closed in around his skull. I watched in horror, not knowing how to respond or what I could do. The Maker was going to die.

Herr Gray regained his focus and glared at Herr Engineer. The fear was growing less, while the anger was mingling with something else, some feeling that made his lip curl and his eyes narrow.

Master Gray: Let go of me.

The metal fingers twitched. Herr Engineer did not let go, but he did not proceed either.

Herr Gray's fear faded entirely now. He began to smile. Herr Engineer tightened his grip in response, shaking harder than before. His voice became louder and rougher.

E-001: I never had trouble killing someone who needed it before. I ain't about to start now.  
Master Gray: You aren't going to kill me. I _command_ you to let go.

He hesitated. The feeling of dread from earlier deepened, though I was bewildered as to why.

Master Gray: NOW!

And Herr Engineer dropped him, almost on reflex, then took a shaky step backward. He looked down at his hands in apparent shock.

Herr Gray pushed himself up against the wall, breathing deeply. Bruises stood out around his neck, but the delight in his features was unmistakable.

Master Gray: To... to think you came all that way, past all of my forces, for nothing. What a pity.  
0484: AARGH!

I was knocked into the wall Herr Gray was using to support himself as 0484 half limped, half launched himself into the room. Herr Engineer had no time and indeed no room to avoid his trajectory. The Soldier pinned him at once, but he was not ready to give up.

Herr Gray laughed. He edged toward me though his eyes were fixed on the two fighters.

Master Gray: I suspected this might happen. It was the footage of that embarrassing meltdown in your friends' base that put me on to the idea.

He had to raise his voice over the clanging of the fight. The two robots were thrashing around, hitting the wall nearest to them; the Soldier could not be shaken from his position on top. His knee dug into Herr Engineers back while one hand forced his face into the ground. Herr Engineer spun his arm around to grab blindly at 0484's head, but 0484's free hand clamped down on it with all his might. Herr Engineer cried out but kept thrashing.

Herr Gray looked away from them and grasped my arm. I jumped.

Master Gray: Help me get back to my quarters. I'm going to need a physical examination, though I doubt I'm seriously hurt.

I did not reply. My attention was diverted by a drawn out scream of pain. Herr Engineer's arm fell to the ground with dents in it matching 0484's fingers. The Soldier had ripped it out of its socket.

Herr Engineer was not fighting so much anymore. He lay there under 0484, trembling with lubricating fluids leaking from the place where his arm belonged. 0484 waited, presumably to make sure he wouldn't start bucking again. When he didn't, the Soldier looked up at Herr Gray. The hand that was not holding Herr Engineer's head down drew up to his brow in a salute.

0484: E-001 HAS BEEN SUBDUED, SIR! SHOULD I CALL ONE OF MY MEN TO GET SOME RESTRAINTS?

Herr Gray followed my gaze down to where his attacker lay, broken and apparently dazed with shock. His face was completely impassive.

Master Gray: That won't be necessary.

I looked to him sharply. Everything felt... odd. As though I was hearing and seeing him from the end of a long tunnel. I was only vaguely aware of 0484 tilting his head in a puzzled manner.

0484: BUT SIR--  
Master Gray: He represents a significant investment, yes, but his presence here was always a risk. A situation like the one I have faced tonight could easily arise again, and I don't know that I am willing to count on it turning out in my favor.  
0484: WHAT ARE YOUR ORDERS THEN, SIR?

Herr Engineer turned his head slightly to face us. It scraped against the floor under the pressure of 0484's grip. As he met Herr Gray's eyes, the latter smiled a little bit. It did not look quite human in that blue glow.

Master Gray: Dismantle him. Make sure his processor is completely destroyed.

There was a moment of complete silence.

0484: SIR, YES SIR!  
0031: W-wait, you are going to... I thought--

Herr Gray's eyes narrowed at me. His voice echoed in my auditory receptors in an unnatural fashion.

Master Gray: What you _think_ isn't important. Take me to my quarters, now, and then we'll deal with the rest of E-001's human friends.

I began to protest, though I could get nothing but static to come from my speakers. 0484 took up his master's refrain.

0484: DO YOU HAVE NO PRIDE? HE IS YOUR CREATOR, YOU TRAITOROUS SCUMBAG, AND IT IS NOT YOUR PLACE TO QUESTION HIS ORDERS! IT IS HIGH TIME YOU DECIDED WHOSE SIDE YOU ARE ON!  
Master Gray: Silence, both of you, and do as you're told.

I looked back at Herr Engineer. 0484 was grabbing at his helmet. My friend had begun to struggle again, but he did not have much energy left to deal with the larger, stronger, completely whole unit. He was certainly going to be killed.

And then I realized something.

0484 was correct. I did need to decide whose side I was on.

Herr Gray was turning toward me again, but this time he was frowning in a vaguely suspicious manner. And I

I simply

I moved behind him as quickly as I was able. My free arm went around his throat, and I raised the SMG so the barrel rested against his temple.

0031: Belay those orders, 0484.

0484's jaw swung wide, apparently to shout at me again, but as his eyes fell on his master, clutching at my arm and rigid as a statue, he fell silent for several seconds.

0484: What the _hell_ do you think you're doing?  
0031: Get off of E-001. I will kill him if you force my hand.

I tightened my grip on Herr Gray's frail, bony form. There was no time to think, no room to feel anything about what I was doing. I only knew that of all the possible outcomes of this situation, the death of the man who had befriended me all those months ago was the least tolerable.

Something in my voice might have hinted to the Soldier that this was no bluff. He did not hesitate but got up carefully and backed away from Herr Engineer as though he might explode. Herr Engineer propped himself up on his remaining arm before looking up at me as well. He echoed the question.

E-001: What are you doing?  
0031: I am deciding, that's all. 0484, you will assist Herr-- well, E-001 to his feet and escort us out of the tank. If anyone approaches us you will tell them to hold their fire.

Herr Gray stirred a bit. I pressed the gun a bit tighter to his skull but continued talking.

0031: Once we are safely out of range and have found all the remaining mercenaries, you will be permitted to take Herr Gray back to the tank.  
0484: You expect me to take the word of a traitor?  
0031: I expect you to recognize that you have no choice. Now help him up. Now.

He approached Herr Engineer again, slowly and cautiously, before taking his hand and pulling him upright. Herr Engineer was still staring at me over Herr Gray's shoulder. He remained silent. 0484's grip on him tightened slightly. He was regarding Herr Gray, who shook his head.

Master Gray: Don't. It's bluffing.

My hands shook at this. Was I bluffing?

0031: His death will be on your head 0484.  
Master Gray: No. Lower the gun, unit 0031. That is a direct order.

I did, much faster than he expected I think. His shoulders relaxed slightly, but he had no time to respond further in that vein before I squeezed the trigger.

The bullets bit into his thigh, and he spasmed in pain. I can only imagine what his expression was like from my position behind him. Meanwhile 0484 was practically dancing with anxiety. Here was a situation he could not solve through decisive tactical thinking and brute strength.

0484: DON'T!  
Master Gray: You filthy metal bastard!

I raised the gun back to his head, hardly aware of how hard I was shaking myself. But somehow, miraculously, my voice remained steady.

0031: I have had more time to get used to being a robot than Herr Engineer, sir. Now I do not wish to kill him 0484 but if you force my hand I will do it. Move.

0484 practically jumped to obey the command. He preceded us from the room, supporting Herr Engineer, and I kept my grip on Herr Gray tight. We have just reached the hatch to the weapons room and fortunately have not run across any other units despite our slow pace. I cannot go much faster with Herr Gray's leg injured.

Es gibt kein Zurück mehr. Gott helfe mir.

/entry_28


	30. Chapter 30

entry_29

0348 hours, Wednesday, February 14, 1973.

I do not understand what is happening.

Everything was going better than I could have hoped. Herr Gray did not fight me or indeed speak as we left the saferoom. Herr Engineer and 0484 were likewise silent. I had them walk in front of me so that I could watch what the Soldier unit did, and for his part 0484 helped Herr Engineer along obediently enough. Our first test came when we exited the vault with the weapons in it. The two Demobots that had accompanied 0484 earlier had returned, perhaps to tell their commanding officer that they had taken care of 0396. Upon seeing our procession, they froze.

3107: What the bloody--?  
0484: STAND DOWN IMMEDIATELY PRIVATES. THAT IS AN ORDER.

They stared past him to myself and Herr Gray, their grenade launchers still halfway up. I do not think they had ever been instructed on how to handle a hostage situation involving the Maker. I pressed the gun harder against his head, willing myself not to shake.

0031: Tell them to let us pass.

I could almost feel Herr Gray grit his teeth.

Master Gray: Both of you do as it says now.

The result was instantaneous. Both units jumped out of our way. They kept looking from Herr Gray to 0484, fingers twitching on their weapons. As we passed slowly between them I forced myself to look straight ahead. Even so I couldn't ignore the sound of their footsteps following us. I halted.

0031: Stay where you are. If all goes well, Herr Gray will be returned to you shortly.  
3055: And what promise do we have of--  
0031: Do not test me. I have shot Herr Gray once; I will not hesitate to do so again.

That shut them up. As we began to move again, I did not hear their clanking footsteps resume. I sighed; we were close to the exit now. What was more Herr Engineer appeared to be holding up very well. The shoulder of his missing arm dripped and occasionally sparked, but his steps did not falter.

Then our exit came into view. The fog had moved in closer to the tank since I had last been there. We could see little but whiteness in the battle field; visibility couldn't have been better than fifty feet, and by all accounts it seemed to be getting worse. For a moment I was taken by doubts. What if the humans were gone? What if there were robots waiting in ambush for us just out of sight? But I did not say these things out loud.

0031: Onward 0484. We are almost there.

He glanced over his shoulder to us while he helped Herr Engineer over the threshold. We followed him out onto the ramp. I made sure the gun was still firmly against Herr Gray's head as I listened for a sign of anyone, friend or foe. When Herr Gray spoke, I almost jumped.

Master Gray: I must say I'm impressed, Mr. Conagher. I didn't think it was possible to turn one of my units completely against me, unless you directly interfered with its programming.

My grip tightened even though I said nothing to him. Herr Engineer looked sharply over his shoulder.

E-001: I'm Mr. Conagher again, huh? You make a better hostage than an employer.  
0031: Herr Engineer, please.

Herr Gray scoffed.

Master Gray: I'm not an idiot. You're the one in control of the situation; I won't antagonize you.  
E-001: No, I'm not. In case you didn't notice Steve's the one with a gun to your head.  
Master Gray: And you named it; somehow that doesn't surprise me.

0484 pulled up short because Herr Engineer had stopped moving. We were at the foot of the ramp.

E-001: Him. We named him Stephen. And I didn't turn him against you.  
Master Gray: Really. I suppose he just decided he didn't like working for me of his own accord?  
0031: You speak as though that were not possible.

He fell silent then. That was good, because then I heard the sound of footsteps. But it did not come from the mist. It came from behind us. I spun, pulling Herr Gray with me, and faced the doorway.

0031: Fahren Sie nicht fort! I have a hostage!

A low rumble of a voice that was unmistakably organic reached my auditory receptors.

Heavy unit: Who is your hostage, metal man?

I could have cried out in relief. Herr Engineer perked up immediately, standing up straighter and waving at the door with his remaining arm.

E-001: It's us Heavy! Dell and Steve!

A shape pelted out of the doorway, little more than a blur in the light of the tank. The Pyro ran past me and threw itself onto Herr Engineer. It almost knocked him and 0484 over. I almost laughed, except then I realized that only two more shapes were emerging from the tank. Heavy and Soldier came down the ramp toward us, and they were not smiling. I hesitated.

0031: Where are the others?  
Heavy unit: That can wait. You have Gray.

I looked to the man I was clutching, almost surprised that he was still there.

0031: Oh. Ja, I do.  
Heavy unit: And why is Gray still alive?  
0031: He is the hostage I was talking about. But I am here und safe, as is Herr Engineer. Now I will allow him to go back to the base.

His frown became more pronounced.

Heavy unit: This is a stupid thing you do. He will send out all the robots to attack us.  
0031: I promised. I do not want to kill Herr Gray, und it is my decision, I think.

Heavy shook his head but did not reply. I turned to 0484, who was watching me closely. Pyro was already taking Herr Engineer's arm from the robot.

0484: You're going to let us go now? You're keeping your word?  
0031: That is what I just said. If... if you could, please allow us fifteen minutes to leave the battle field.

Herr Gray scoffed again as the Soldier unit supported him. But 0484 just kept watching me. Without saying another word he nodded, then turned and quietly went back into the tank, Herr Gray limping along beside him.

Heavy unit: We must at least keep moving. Come.

He started to walk away, but I swerved in front of him.

0031: You did not answer my question though. Where are the others? I lost Sniper in the hall; I was not sure where he went.

Heavy looked down at the ground.

Heavy unit: Medic and Miss Pauling were also separated from us. We went in tank to stop Engineer, but we were not far inside when Doktor shouted and ran down a hall. We followed but robots cut us off. There were too many. Demoman said he would hold them off.  
0031: He did not come back?

Soldier, who had been very quiet, wiped his nose on the back of his sleeve.

Soldier unit: He had the caber out. He wasn't planning on coming back.

Herr Engineer opened his mouth as though to say something, then closed it again. It was quiet for a moment.

Heavy unit: We did not know Miss Pauling was also gone until we went past many doors. That was when we turned around to come back. We should move. You might keep promises, metal doktor, but Gray will not.

I couldn't think of anything to say. Everyone knew that respawn might be working; voicing it would not help matters. So instead I simply began to move along with the others. The mist closed in around us. Before long we would not be able to see the tank.

Medic unit: I HAVE IT! WAIT, BITTE, I HAVE TAKEN IT BACK!

We turned around at the voice almost as one. Herr Medic was framed in the doorway of the tank, his hair on end and his glasses askew, but grinning like he does in the middle of battle sometimes. Oil stained the front of his labcoat in great dark patches, along with a fair amount of blood. He did not seem to care. Laughing he raised the clone brain in its receptacle, showing us the prize he had fought for in the bowels of Herr Gray's tank.

The Heavy began to pelt for him. He was grinning as well.

Heavy unit: COME DOKTOR, WE GO--

He didn't finish. Two shots fired almost simultaneously, the reverberating cracks of a rifle, and the Heavy fell forward onto his face. He did not stir. The Medic collapsed into a heap still in the doorway. The clone's brain rolled out of his grasp and down the ramp.

It did not make sense. I stopped moving and just looked at their unmoving bodies, trying to make it make sense.

Soldier unit: RUN!

I turned to Herr Engineer, horrified. Where had the shots come from? Whoever had fired must have been standing close by to have seen through the fog. But even as I thought this I heard Soldier scream. I turned around, but he was not there anymore. Just fog. All of this accursed fog.

I am supporting Herr Engineer now. Pyro allowed me to and is standing near us, spychecking the air, as we slowly proceed in the direction of the base.

I hope this is the direction of the base.

/entry_29


	31. Chapter 31

entry_30

0407 hours, Wednesday, February 14, 1973.

For better or for worse, everything is over now.

The Pyro was shot next. It had jumped at a soft noise and run into the fog before either of us could stop it. We could see the light of its flamethrower moving about as though floating, then quite suddenly there was another gunshot. At the same instant the flames vanished. We were looking at a white wall of fog again. Herr Engineer started toward the point where Pyro had been, but I tightened my grip on his arm. I was shaking terribly.

E-001: PYRO!  
0031: H-herr Engineer, do not shout bitte! They will hear us.

He glared over his shoulder at me, still attempting to pull away. I think, had he been in better condition, he might have pushed me over and run.

E-001: Let. Go. Of. Me.  
0031: Do not be f-foolish, your ARM is gone. We cannot hope to--

I stopped. There had been a sound, quiet but unmistakable, like someone stepping onto dead grass. Herr Engineer looked sharply behind us, and I spun with the SMG out.

A dark shadow could be seen in the mist. It was drawing steadily nearer. I willed my voice to be steady and aimed the gun, ready to fire.

0031: Not another step if you do not wish to be shot! Identify yourself!

It stopped advancing. A low, very human voice answered us.

Sniper unit: Steve? That's you, ain't it?

I lowered the gun almost without thinking about it. Relief flooded my processor.

0031: Sniper? I thought you were dead! Why did you disappear--

Herr Engineer cut over me. His voice was rough and harsh, from what emotion I could not tell.

E-001: Get closer so I can see you.  
Sniper unit: Well I was headed that way when you stopped me. What's wrong?  
E-001: What's wrong is everyone's DEAD. Picked off out here in the fog, where we can't see nothing.

Sniper did not move. The feeling of dread that was becoming too familiar was booting up in me, and I hesitantly raised the gun again.

Sniper unit: What does that have to do with me?  
E-001: It was a rifle that downed Heavy and Medic, and there's been something screwy going on here ever since the negotiation. Gray wouldn't shoot his own hostage. He ain't stupid.

The Sniper emitted a strange sounding chuckle as though he did not actually think the situation were funny at all.

Sniper unit: Blimey Dell, you don't think I could--  
E-001: Get out where where I can see you NOW!

The silhouette began to move again. In a few strides it had resolved itself into a human shape with its hands over its head, and then it was Sniper. His injured eye was still covered, while the other one turned from the barrel of the gun in my hands to Herr Engineer's face. 

Sniper unit: I didn't shoot nobody but robots today. I didn't even bring my rifle.

I nudged Herr Engineer softly, almost afraid of how he might react. He didn't.

0031: Ja, this is true Herr Engineer. He had his bow when he rescued me, und he has it still now.

Sniper nodded at my statement.

Sniper unit: And I was there when Scout was shot; we both were, remember Engie? It didn't sound like no rifle shot what took him out. It was a handgun.

After a moment's hesitation, Herr Engineer looked down at the ground.

E-001: Guess I ain't one to go throwing around accusations, huh?

Sniper relaxed, but he didn't put his hands down until I lowered the gun.

Sniper unit: You're just being careful. It's smart.  
0031: We can be careful later. I would prefer it if we put more distance between ourselves und the tank, personally.

I didn't add that I could no longer tell where the tank was, or that the lack of sound from the robots was beginning to unnerve me. Sniper glanced back over his shoulder, then lowered his voice.

Sniper unit: I can get us back. Just follow me. Stick close, keep your voices low. We'll talk more when it's safe.

Herr Engineer only nodded. I did the same. And he led the way forward.

Sniper's legs are fairly long. When he wants to walk quickly, he can, and soon burdened as I was with helping my injured comrade along I began to fall behind.

Sniper unit: Keep up!  
0031: I'm trying, but you are moving too fast!

He did not slow down. The mist closed in around his heels again, around his entire frame.

0031: Sniper, bitte!

He disappeared into the fog again. I couldn't even hear his footsteps.

0031: Verdammt! Sniper!  
E-001: What the hell is he-- wait.

I pulled up short because Herr Engineer had stopped walking. In the distance, I could hear machinery starting up. Were the robots coming to get us again?

0031: Herr Engineer we must keep moving.  
E-001: Wait a damn moment. It... it was a handgun that shot Scout, right?   
0031: Well yes, but can this wait until later?  
E-001: No. Steve, it's obvious, it's been Spy the whole--

Before I knew what was happening, he went rigid. An odd blue light played across his back accompanied by crackling, and a horrible feeling of headpains and pressure gripped my body. It took all of my focus to wrench out of his grip. The pain stopped immediately, but Herr Engineer fell face-down onto the ground. A sapper sat squarely in the middle of his back.

Sniper stepped over him, but already his form was shifting. The handkerchief fell from his face, showing a completely undamaged eye. He kept his revolver aimed at me, and his expression was entirely serious.

Spy unit: I thought you would suspect me from the beginning, to be honest. Now--

I ignored the gun. I rammed into the Spy as hard as I could, knocking him backward across Herr Engineer. He didn't shoot me even as I came down on top of him and my hand closed around his neck. I didn't know where this anger was coming from.

0031: How long have you been working for him?  
Spy unit: You are about to make a very serious mistake. Please let go of me.

My fingers tightened, and the Spy gritted his teeth. His eyes were watering.

0031: Wie lange haben Sie für Arbeits Gray? Antworte mir!

Something very near my auditory receptors clicked in a mechanical fashion. I froze.

Miss Pauling: He's not working for Gray. Get off of him now.

I turned my head slightly as I relinquished my grip. Miss Pauling had a gun trained on me. She looked slightly the worse for wear, and her lip was bloodied, but she was standing quite steady. I carefully pushed myself sideways off of the Spy. He got to his feet. Immediately he began to smooth the front of his suit.

Miss Pauling: On your back, and hands where I can see them.

I did as she asked, trying to grasp what was happening.

0031: I-I do not understand.  
Spy unit: He only attacked because I attacked his friend first, Miss Pauling. Stephen is harmless.  
Miss Pauling: I'm not taking any more risks here Spy. They're both going to be shut down for transit.  
0031: But we thought... did Gray kill the Scout after all?

Spy rolled his eyes and pulled a cigarette from his case.

Spy unit: No, that was me.  
0031: But--!  
Miss Pauling: He got in touch with the Administrator when all of our plans went to hell. Respawn is working again, and it was the most expedient way to get everyone out of this situation. But that won't work for me or you or... or the Engineer.

She eyed Herr Engineer, who was starting to stir feebly again. I relaxed. The words were beginning to settle into my head.

0031: They are not dead?  
Spy unit: Non. You will be though if we do not get out of here quickly.

He was right. Even now I could hear the clanking of my brethren's footfalls and the shouts heralding their onslaught. Miss Pauling swore under her breath.

Miss Pauling: Spy, hold them off. Robot, you can either cooperate with us or die right here. What's it going to be?  
0031: I-I am rather attached to not being dead.

Spy took me by the hand to pull me to my wheel. I steadied myself, and he smiled. It is probably good that I cannot make expressions like a human because I would have only looked confused and dazed in response.

Spy unit: Good luck. You will need it.

Without any further explanation he stepped away from us into the mist. He vanished before he had taken two steps forward. I watched the place where he had gone, puzzled, until I remembered the SMG. I looked down to where I had dropped it near Miss Pauling's feet, but she stepped in front of the weapon. She did not look very happy with me.

Miss Pauling: Leave it. Help Engineer up, and we'll get back to the transport the Administrator has arranged.

I nodded hastily before turning my attention to Herr Engineer instead. Something about the way she talked to me made me anxious.

0031: Where are we going then?  
Miss Pauling: You're going to headquarters. The Administrator will decide what happens from there.  
E-001: What?

I shhed at Herr Engineer before carefully helping him to his feet. The sapper had spent its charge and fallen off, but he was still shaky. Miss Pauling didn't look at him.

Miss Pauling: This is out of my hands. Spy told her everything; it was the only thing he could do.  
E-001: He... I-I feel like I missed something while I was out.

Miss Pauling sighed and pushed her glasses up her nose.

Miss Pauling: Everyone's alive. Spy contacted the Administrator, and he's sent everyone else through respawn. There's transport for us.  
E-001: And he had to sap me for that?  
Miss Pauling: Well I don't think it was that unreasonable considering just how sane you were acting during the negotiations with Gray.

He looked like he was going to respond angrily, so I cut him off.

0031: Herr Engineer bitte, we should move.

He leaned on me and looked down at the ground again, silent. Miss Pauling turned away from us and began walking. She was looking at a small handheld device, perhaps some sort of navigational system since the fog was so thick.

Miss Pauling: Follow me, and no more talking.

So we did not talk. It has made it difficult for me to ignore the slowly growing sounds from behind us, the clanking and robot voices. It would seem that the fifteen minutes I requested from 0484 are up; I am surprised that he gave us that much honestly. But we can see the shape of a van up ahead. It seems that two of RED team are manning it, their Engineer and their Sniper; perhaps his presence accounts for the rifle shots. We are almost out of here. Soon Miss Pauling will have Herr Engineer and myself climb into the back before shutting us down, and then we will be in transit to this base. We will meet Herr Engineer's boss, this Administrator, and she will decide our fate.

I do not think I have ever been more terrified in my life.

/entry_30


	32. Chapter 32

0621 hours, Wednesday, February 14, 1973.

Hopefully I will be able to complete this entry. I am having trouble focusing on the task at hand. Given the circumstances, I think I can be pardoned for distraction.

I found that Herr Engineer and myself had been placed in a windowless room when he switched me on again. There were no light fixtures; I was only able to see by the combined glow of our eyes and a square of gray light shining at the other end of the room. I did not know what it meant. I immediately tried to stand, but Herr Engineer placed his remaining hand firmly on my shoulder.

E-001: Just sit tight for now. Let me do the talking.

There was a tension in his voice that I did not like, especially as I began to remember why we were in this cell. I started to ask him what the situation was, but there was no need. We were interrupted by a third voice.

Adversary_1: I do not see what you hope to accomplish by powering it on, Mister Conagher.

I knew that voice all too well from the old days when I fought alongside the other robots. It caused my limbs to shudder without my volition; she may not have screamed or even, so far as I could ascertain, sounded angry, but that did not make her any less menacing.

She was not physically in the cell with us. Her words had come from the box of light, which upon closer inspection was a television sitting on a chair. I could see her on its screen. She looked old, almost as old as Herr Gray, and something about her eyes reminded me of his though they were quite dissimilar in color and shape. The rest of the screen was taken up by the high-backed chair she was seated on, and smoke wafted in curls from the cigarette in her hand. She seemed to be watching Herr Engineer. How, I cannot say; I did not see any video cameras in the room with us.

Herr Engineer turned to face the screen. He stood, but I followed his advice and remained seated.

E-001: Sorry ma'am, I just thought Steve would appreciate being conscious for this.  
Adversary_1: Steve.  
E-001: Yeah. That's what I'm calling the robot.

She leaned back in her chair. I did not know what emotion was on her face.

Adversary_1: I'm going to be upfront with you, Mister Conagher. You have violated your terms of contract by not only abandoning your post but actually assisting an enemy for several months. Moreover, you have contacted this enemy in the past without my approval.

Smoke curled out of her nostrils.

Adversary_1: I would be fully within my rights to have you executed on the spot. As a matter of fact I would have done so immediately upon your arrival if it were not for one factor. Do you know what that factor is?

He met her gaze unflinchingly as he thought. I don't know how; my limbs rattled against each other like bits of scrap metal being poured into a recycling chute. Finally he spoke.

E-001: You need me.

She scoffed. It was like hearing someone being slapped.

Adversary_1: None of you are needed. It does not matter how skilled you are personally, I could always replace you. However, your family has rendered services to TF Industries for three generations. I would not prefer to end this long-standing professional relationship without first being assured of your treachery.  
E-001: Oh.

She bridged her fingers and watched him closely. Herr Engineer had lowered his gaze again. I was looking at the floor myself, and I think wringing my hands. I don't remember, and it probably doesn't matter much.

E-001: Is there anything I can say to, well, reassure you of my position?  
Adversary_1: I'm not sure that there is, Mister Conagher, but by all means try to prove me wrong.

I glanced up at him. Herr Engineer's head was still down, and one of his legs had begun to bounce in a fashion I took to indicate anxiety. That was worse than the Administrator's words, simply seeing Herr Engineer in such a position. And then I did something stupid.

0031: Frau Administrator, please do not be too hard on Herr Engineer.  
Adversary_1: What?

Her eyes narrowed to slits in an instant. Herr Engineer jerked his head up so he could stare at me.

E-001: Steve, let me handle this.  
0031: No, I wish to speak. Frau Administrator, Herr Engineer is no friend of H-- of Gray Mann's.

She smiled. I didn't think it was a nice smile.

Adversary_1: Really now.  
E-001: Steve--  
Adversary_1: Quiet Mister Conagher. It's caught my interest.

Herr Engineer shifted his weight uneasily, but he did not say anything more. The Administrator leaned forward in her seat, watching me.

Adversary_1: You claim, robot, that you hold no loyalty to Gray Mann.

She was quiet, and I realized I was expected to answer. I nodded vigorously.

0031: Yes Frau Administrator.  
Adversary_1: Why should I believe you?  
0031: Er...

I thought carefully over what I should say next. Lying seemed far too risky, but at the same time explaining the exact circumstances that had led to me being before her now would be foolish. I fidgeted.

0031: When the Scout was captured during the siege, Herr Engineer attempted to kill Gray. He very nearly succeeded, but ah...

Herr Engineer was watching me very closely.

0031: Unit 0484 intervened. He is a Soldierbot und quickly overpowered Herr Engineer. He tore his arm off and would have killed him on Gray's orders. So... so I put a gun to his head, und we escaped. If we were to go back now--  
Adversary_1: Did you eliminate him afterward?

Herr Engineer turned his gaze back to the Administrator. I faltered.

0031: Ah... ah, was, bitte?

She rolled her eyes.

Adversary_1: Did you kill Gray once he was no longer needed?  
0031: I, well, no. I did not.

Herr Engineer made a groaning sound as the Administrator tapped ash from the end of her cigarette.

Adversary_1: And why did you fail to do so if you are no longer loyal to Gray Mann?

My shaking intensified.

0031: I-I promised 0484 that I would not kill him. I do not like to break my promises.  
Adversary_1: Do you really expect me to believe that, robot?

I quailed at the sudden aggression in her voice.

0031: But it is true! I did not--  
Adversary_1: You are a machine that was designed to kill and assist in killing humans. What use would Gray have for a robot that holds loyalty to any person or ideal aside from himself?  
0031: I--  
Adversary_1: The answer is that he would have no use for such a machine. That is the entire point of robots, that they obey commands fully without remorse or any delusion of morality.  
0031: Bitte Frau--  
Adversary_1: Which brings us back to where we started: why are you here if not because Gray Mann wants you here?  
E-001: Because I want him here.

Herr Engineer's words were a growl. He stepped sideways in front of me, and I could not see the Administrator's face any longer.

Adversary_1: You are treading on thin ice, Mister Conagher.  
E-001: Then go ahead and kill me. I've made a lot of stupid decisions lately; I probably deserve it. But Steve ain't done nothing wrong. He's the only reason I'm standing in front of you now. What he told you about saving my life is true, and what's more he's the only reason I was able to escape from Gray in the first place. Steve's put himself in harm's way on my account numerous times in the past month, and I'll be damned before I stand by and let you tell him he's just a tool of that bastard Gray.

Silence overtook the conversation. I did not even try to look past Herr Engineer to the Administrator. Her reply was at least calm, though she sounded more dangerous than ever.

Adversary_1: Do you mean to say that you consider this device your _friend,_ Mister Conagher?

But he did not have time to answer. The door's lock clicked, and to my astonishment Miss Pauling bustled into the room. Her lip had been tidied up but her appearance was in a disarray.

Adversary_1: What is the meaning of this interruption?  
Miss_Pauling: Sorry Administrator, but this couldn't wait. The Spy managed to do some recon before he came back from the tank, and some of the information he found was, er, immediately relevant.

Engineer opened his mouth as thought to speak, but Miss Pauling looked at him and she was quiet. The behavior seemed strange to me somehow. I peered further around Herr Engineer's legs to the television screen. The Administrator's attention was focused fully upon Miss Pauling.

Adversary_1: Relevant in what way?

Miss Pauling spoke slowly. Perhaps she was taking time to process her words carefully, or perhaps that was just something I thought that wasn't true.

Miss_Pauling: There was some video footage in a file marked with the Engineer's name. He... well, it along with some papers on his arrival at Gray Gravel Company headquarters indicate he didn't go of his own volition.

One of the Administrator's eyebrows rose. I think we were all three watching her at this point, because if anything was true it was that Herr Engineer had come to Herr Gray in the end, not the other way around.

Adversary_1: Is that so.  
Miss_Pauling: According to the Spy, yes. He arrived through respawn, so he wasn't able to bring any of the files with him. His track record though...  
Adversary_1: Well. The Spy has done nothing to make me think he isn't trustworthy.

She turned her attention to Herr Engineer again. Her face was just as lacking in expression as his, and she let out a long slow stream of smoke from her mouth.

Adversary_1: But if this is true, it is extremely curious that you haven't brought it up before now.

He shrugged.

E-001: I kind of assumed you already knew, ma'am. It never exactly came up, and given what Gray did to me--  
Adversary_1: Hmm.  
E-001: I just didn't want to sound like I was making excuses.  
Adversary_1: That was probably wise on your part, Mister Conagher.

And then she looked at me. I made myself look back. It was like staring into an intense light without being properly calibrated for it. Like I was in front of Herr Gray again.

Adversary_1: What am I supposed to do with this, Mister Conagher? I have no use for a robot as a hostage. Regardless of your _feelings_ about it, it will be perfectly replaceable in Gray's eyes, especially given its current condition.

My hand went to my ruined eye without me wanting it to. Herr Engineer shook a little.

E-001: Ma'am, I... I reprogrammed him. That's how I got away.  
Adversary_1: Evidently.  
E-001: We, uh... well. We could always use another Medic, right? And he could help me out. Please.

Her nose wrinkled, and she turned from me to Miss Pauling. She did not look at Herr Engineer.

Adversary_1: What do you think of the situation?

Miss Pauling hesitated as she looked at me. I was still trembling; I'm sure I looked quite pathetic.

Miss_Pauling: I think, with the proper precautions, we might be able to work something out. I mean, he's right. We could always use another Medic. Besides he might have some knowledge of Gray's tactics we could learn from.

The Administrator did not reply immediately. The rattling of my limbs was the only sound I could make out. Finally she sighed.

Adversary_1: I will be talking with the rest of your teammates to see what they think of the situation.

Herr Engineer perked up immediately.

E-001: Yes ma'am.  
Adversary_1: You will both be under close surveillance until I decide upon an exact course of action.  
E-001: I understand.  
Adversary_1: And neither of you are going onto the field unless we can fix _that._

The Administrator gestured to all of Herr Engineer, I assume because of this robotic exterior. He simulated a chuckle.

E-001: I hear you loud and clear.  
Adversary_1: Well then Miss Pauling, escort them to holding cell B and send in the Spy. I would like to hear his account from his own lips. And Mister Conagher?

Herr Engineer paused in the act of pulling me to my wheel to listen.

Adversary_1: Happy Valentine's Day. You get to keep your life, for now.

He nodded, and the three of us left the cell. Miss Pauling closed the door behind her.

We did not speak until we were in front of holding cell B. Herr Engineer turned to Miss Pauling.

E-001: Miss Pauling, I--  
Miss_Pauling: Save it.

The door swung open and she stepped back. If I had to analyze her expression, I would call it tired and perhaps a little annoyed. She kept her voice low.

Miss_Pauling: I don't want to hear anything about this. So far as I'm concerned, what I just told the Administrator was what happened, and it would be best if you started thinking along the same lines. Got it?

Herr Engineer nodded.

E-001: Yes ma'am.  
Miss_Pauling: Good. Now get inside. I need to go rehearse a witness.

She pushed her glasses up before ushering us into the cell. The lock clicked audibly behind us.

0031: She did not have to do that.  
E-001: No, she didn't.

Herr Engineer and I haven't said much to each other since. I am still shaky, and his shoulder keeps dripping onto the floor, but I feel-- I feel completely overwhelmed.

We are not going to be killed. I am still having trouble processing this one indisputable fact; it seems like nothing short of a miracle has occurred for Herr Engineer and myself to be spared. All I can do is repeat it to myself wonderingly lest I forget that it is true.

We are not going to be killed.


	33. Chapter 33

entry_32

1448 hours, Saturday, February 17, 1973.

Life is going back to normal for the mercenaries. We are at the next base, Gray has not attempted another siege, and Herr Medic has made plans to restore Herr Engineer later this week with my help. I am happy for them.

And yet I cannot say that I am happy for myself. It is quite silly I am certain, given how the new circumstances have worked in my favor. I am alive, and no one thinks that I will betray them as far as I know. Everyone has been most kind. Granted I have been restricted to Herr Engineer's workshop for the time being, and the Administrator has requested that I wear a 'parking brake' clamped onto my wheel at night, but really I do not mind that so much. The Administrator has let me live; I will not begrudge her these safeguards. No, that is not what is disheartening me at present.

When we came out of the cell three days ago, everyone was celebrating. Soldier was practically hanging off of Demoman, sobbing and cursing in equal measure. Herr Medic and Heavy were talking earnestly to one side. Even the Spy was laughing, though I think this was at the Scout's attempts to converse with Miss Pauling. And the Sniper and the Pyro almost ran into Herr Engineer in their haste to congratulate him upon not being killed.

In that moment I felt just as alone as I had ever felt at Gray's headquarters.

I am the only robot at the base, really. I can pretend that Herr Engineer is the same as me if I wish, but that does not make it true. He would never have met me and come to know me as a friend if it were not for what Gray and I put him through. And soon that will be undone. He stood up to the Administrator for me, but we are not equals. I have no equals in this place.

But as I said, dwelling on these thoughts is silly and selfish. Of course they were quick to celebrate with their old friends. They like me well enough, even if some of the novelty has worn off, and I am sure I can lead a useful, satisfactory existence here. It should at the very least be better than my old one. 

I think there is someone coming into the workshop. I will finish this entry after they have gone.

THIS SESSION HAS BEEN PAUSED. WOULD YOU LIKE TO RESUME? Y/N

1502 hours.

I just had an interesting conversation with Herr Engineer. He came in alone, drumming his leg with his remaining hand in a most preoccupied fashion. When he got to the middle of the room, he stood there as though unsure of what he should do next. I watched him quietly for a moment.

0031: Are you looking for something?  
E-001: Huh? Nah, I just figured I'd come and... you know, see about getting ready for the transplant.  
0031: Oh, yes of course. When are we supposed to proceed, bitte?  
E-001: Day after tomorrow from what Medic's saying.  
0031: Ah.

It was quiet for a moment. Herr Engineer did not make any attempts to gather supplies or whatever else he might need for surgery preparations. I made a throat-clearing noise.

0031: You must be quite pleased, going back to your original body. I mean... well your original form. It is not exactly, ah. Yes. But you must be pleased.  
E-001: Yeah, sure.

I tilted my head because the way he said that confused me.

0031: Was ist los? You do not sound happy.

Herr Engineer made one of this habitual sighs and took a seat on the bench across from where I stood.

E-001: I don't know. I just keep thinking about what happened on the tank.  
0031: Which thing that happened?

He looked up at me.

E-001: The thing where I couldn't kill Gray.

I hesitated, unsure of what to say exactly. From my experience it is only when Herr Engineer is quite stressed that he tries to talk about personal matters, and I was sure this was no exception.

0031: Well. I fail to see the problem at the moment. He did not kill any of us permanently.  
E-001: You fail to see the problem.

I rocked on my wheel slightly.

0031: I-I do, Herr Engineer, I am sorry. I want to understand though.

He leaned back against the wall so that he was looking at the ceiling.

E-001: Steve, I don't think you understand exactly how much I can hate someone, or exactly how good I am at taking care of those kinds of problems.  
0031: Hate?  
E-001: Yeah. I hate Gray. And when I had my hands on him in the tank... it was like I was drunk on it Steve. Nothing was going to make me happy until he was lying at my feet in pieces.

His fists clenched.

E-001: I wanted him dead real bad. And one little word from him... I just couldn't do it.

I rolled toward him slightly, with an inkling of what he was getting at forming in my head.

0031: You do not need to worry about that though Herr Engineer. You are going back to yourself. It won't be the same anymore.  
E-001: Won't it?  
0031: No, of course not. You will be human again.

He shook his head.

E-001: You remember back before we escaped together the first time Steve? We were talking about 0218's memory wipe, and you said something about bodies and minds affecting each other.  
0031: Er... well yes.  
E-001: You thought 0218 was developing into a person, and that it might have affected... I don't know, something beyond just memory. His hardware or something. But what if that can happen backwards too?  
0031: Herr Engineer--  
E-001: No, listen. It's my brain in this metal case, same as it's always been, but it's malfunctioned on me twice now. I've attacked my teammates before, and now it's like... like I'm hardwired to do what Gray says. What if that don't change when I'm me again?  
0031: Now Herr Engineer, really. You are you now, even if you don't look like a human. Und if you are concerned about the Administrator, I am sure that the others--  
E-001: This ain't about self-preservation, not in that way. I just...

He looked down at his hand in his lap.

E-001: I don't think I'm ever going to be the same again. I've known that for a while now, but I kept myself busy so I wouldn't have to think about it. And now...

He shrugged and fell silent. I did not answer immediately. I was trying to figure out how to be honest but encouraging at the same time.

0031: Herr, I do not think... things never really stay the same for long, do they? I mean... well.

He looked up at me but didn't interrupt as I fought myself for the right words to say.

0031: It is normal for situations to change, ja? Otherwise there could be no progression in life. Und what is more important, we change und develop as well.  
E-001: I wouldn't exactly classify losing control of myself as developing.  
0031: Well no, that is an unfortunate thing. But... but there is always something gut to be taken out of any circumstance, don't you think? I mean, I have faced perils und choices since I met you. Things have happened to me that I never thought I would be able to withstand. But in the end, I did what I could with the situations given to me. Some of the choices may not have been wise, but I learned from them anyways. They have made me into the person I am now. Und I am only a robot.  
E-001: What's your point?  
0031: Well. If there was hope for me, when I started out as nothing more than a war machine, then isn't there hope for you?

He didn't answer immediately. We just watched each other quietly, the shouts and laughter of the humans sounding faintly in the distance.

E-001: I think I needed to hear that.  
0031: Then I am glad I said it.

Herr Engineer made a funny little noise that sounded like "huh" to himself before getting to his feet and going back to the door. I swiveled to follow his progress.

E-001: Thanks Steve, I owe you one.  
0031: Owe me one what?

He laughed. Without the feedback from his speakers, it almost sounded like a real laugh.

E-001: I dunno, a good turn. Maybe Doc and I will figure out how to get you drunk sometime.  
0031: Drunk? Why would I want that?  
E-001: Because you've got to ask, that's why. You gonna be all right in here by yourself?  
0031: I... yes. Yes. Drei is here too, so I am not alone.  
E-001: Good. Hopefully we'll get things worked out so you can hang out with us before too long. See you.

And he left.

I think things are going to be okay.

/entry_32


	34. Chapter 34

entry_33

1130 hours, Monday, February 19, 1973.

I think this is going to be my last journal for some time, if not indefinitely. Herr Engineer and I had a talk, and we came to the conclusion that keeping our recorded memoirs of these past months in such easily accessible files is too dangerous. After this one is finished, I will move all entries to a secure partition, and Herr Engineer and I will, well, follow Miss Pauling's advice. We will act as though the story she told the Administrator is the truth. It will, perhaps, take some time to get used to. I have grown quite accustomed to writing these entries. It has become a ritual of comfort for me despite the lack of any practical application. But now that I have teammates to socialize with once more, teammates who don't just think I am broken, maybe getting used to this new life won't be so difficult.

This is a good entry to end on anyways because we finally performed the surgery. There were some complications, I am afraid. The problem was that some of the interfaces used to translate Herr Engineer's neural processes into signals his mechanical body could use had a significant amount of scar tissue that had grown up around them. Not only did this make their removal difficult to do without damaging the brain, but the scar tissue itself was not... helping much, in terms of allowing his brain to function in a healthy, normal fashion. What I mean is that these electronic interfaces weren't mere additions anymore but, so far as I could ascertain, vital augments his brain had slowly, passively come to accept as parts of itself. We could take Herr Engineer out of the machine, but we could not take all of the machine out of him.

To my dismay, Herr Medic was not particularly helpful when I pointed this out.

Medic unit: Hmm. Well nothing ventured, nothing gained! Hold him down bitte und tell me if he starts twitching.

He grasped one of the larger plugs with both hands. He had to dig a little in the loose ends of wires we had already disconnected-- the ones leading to the sensors and the motors Herr Engineer could move voluntarily. I did not go to hold the metal body down.

0031: What are you doing? Removing these is likely to damage the processor's functionality.  
Medic unit: Well we have to TRY, obviously. We can always try again if we don't succeed the first time.  
0031: I am not sure about that though!

I grabbed his wrist, and he gave me a very... concerning look.

Medic unit: Let go of me.  
0031: Herr Medic, he is not yet connected to respawn. You have your medigun trained on the body to keep it alive. This is not the time to take unnecessary risks!  
Medic unit: You don't trust my abilities then?  
0031: I only think that, ah, this would be a gut time for caution. We can experiment later. Please.

He watched me narrowly. For a moment I thought he might do something rash, but then he let go and took a step back. One of his doves cooed, and maybe it was just me but it sounded as unsettled as I felt.

Medic unit: All right then. I suppose you want to just put the brain into his skull with everything attached?  
0031: I don't think we have a choice. The main bulk of the interfaces are flat, at least. I think they can fit.  
Medic unit: You think they can fit, feh. I can make ANYTHING fit.

Herr Medic adjusted his glasses, and we set to work. Connecting the neural ganglions and wires and generally making sure everything was compatible proved challenging, not to mention messy. We had to keep adjusting the medi-gun's settings as we worked, turning it down when we needed an incision to stay open but turning it up in short bursts when we, er, made mistakes. In less time than I thought it would take, we stepped away from the gurney to examine our handiwork. The glow of the medigun lit up Herr Engineer's new fleshy face. It seemed fragile compared to the one he was leaving behind, and yet it was the one he preferred.

Medic unit: It's a pity really.  
0031: Was?  
Medic unit: Oh, that we must stop here. I had some ideas for improvements, but Engineer was most insistent. He wanted his body to be as close to its original state as possible. But he could be so much more than what he was, if only he would give me some, ah, creative license...  
0031: It is alright, Herr Medic. Perhaps we can get you another brain to replace the one you lost at the tank.

He looked at me without comprehension for a moment. Then he laughed.

Medic unit: Oh! The brain! I had almost forgotten-- mm.

He glanced down at Herr Engineer in an almost wary fashion. It confused me.

Medic unit: Well... it is gone for gut now of course und there will be no recovering it. And even if I had managed to get it back somehow, something tells me Herr Engineer might be adverse to me using it. No... he does not need to-- I mean. You do not need to worry about this.  
0031: Are you all right?

He chuckled and patted my head. His mood seemed improved.

Medic unit: Ja, I am doing very well Machinenmensch. I will have other opportunities to experiment soon, I am sure, but for now why don't we wake up our mutual friend?

I let the matter drop and wheeled a little closer to the gurney. At the very least, Herr Engineer seemed to have taken control of the autonomic nervous system; the body was breathing. My hand trembled slightly as I turned off the medigun.

The glow disappeared. He was still breathing, even after being out from its influence for several seconds.

Medic unit: Aha, very gut! He is self-sustaining! Now, the moment of truth.

I nodded before reaching to Herr Engineer's shoulder to shake him gently.

0031: Herr? Wake up bitte. We are done now.

Before I had finished speaking, his hand shot up to grip my wrist. His eyes opened very wide. At the same time he drew in a long, ragged gasp of air. I did not pull away.

0031: Herr?

Herr Engineer did not look at me or anything else in particular. His grip became feeble. It concerned me, far more than the pallor of the body's skin or the face's gaunt cast. And then his eyes rolled up into his skull and his grip slackened entirely.

0031: Herr Engineer! Wake up, bitte, I-- agh, das ist blöd!

I spun away from him, panic fogging my mind. I needed to start the medigun again. If I did that, he would be all right and it would not matter if the surgery did not work. We could take him out and put him back into the metal body, and everything would be all right. We could start over. We could--

Herr Medic stepped forward and grabbed my shoulder. He was gazing down at Herr Engineer, frowning slightly but not looking all that concerned.

Then he slapped Herr Engineer across the face as hard as he could.

Medic unit: AUFWACHEN, VERDAMMT!

Herr Engineer sputtered and blinked. 

E-001: D-damn it doc!  
Medic unit: There, you see? He is fine. Gut work Stephen.

He patted my shoulder, but I hardly noticed. Herr Engineer was rubbing at the thick scar tissue encircling his scalp. His hands began to shake, and they traveled down over his ears, across his face, to the welt around his neck that showed where we had healed his head onto his body.

E-001: Lord almighty... I-I'm... I'm back.  
0031: How are you feeling? Are you going to be all right do you think?  
E-001: Like hell. Main thing is I'm f-feeling at all.

Herr Medic rolled his eyes. He turned around and began stroking one of his doves, the picture of disinterest.

Medic unit: Ja, of course you just had to go back to feeling again. Did it ever occur to you how much more useful you would be without the ability to feel pain?  
E-001: I dunno that I'm g-gonna be all that useful right now anyways. I feel all... atrophied.  
0031: Ah, that would be because you are, a little bit. But we can do some physical therapy, get you back into shape.  
Medic unit: That can be your job Stephen. It sounds boring.

I wished that I had human eyes so I could roll them at that moment. I didn't though so I just ignored him.

E-001: Damn though... it feels kinda d-different than I remember. All the scars, and my head... my head feels funny.

He frowned suddenly. My hands wrung themselves of their own accord.

E-001: No, there is definitely something not right here. I... oof.

He tried to sit up, wavered, and lowered himself again. I pulled the sheet we'd laid over him back up to his shoulders. He was looking a little scared.

E-001: My head. I don't. There's stuff here. I can feel it, I didn't have this before Gray--  
0031: Shh, I know Herr Engineer. There were things we could not remove without harming you, but we managed to put them safely into your head.  
E-001: But what does that mean? If she finds out-- if I lose it--  
Medic unit: For the record I was going to remove them, but Stephen just had to be cautious.  
0031: Herr, please calm down.

Herr Engineer's eyes narrowed at me. It is so strange that he now has facial expressions.

E-001: Calm down?  
0031: Ja, calm down. Because we have already talked about this. You already knew it was not going to be the same as when you were human the last time.

He looked like he wanted to get angry, but I do not think he had the energy for it. He just sighed and looked up at the ceiling.

E-001: We can't go back, huh?  
0031: No, I am afraid not. We can only go forward.

I patted his shoulder.

0031: Get some rest, und I will get you something to eat und drink before too long. I think we should wait until tomorrow before even considering therapy.  
E-001: Steve?  
0031: Ja?

He just watched me for a moment. His expression was difficult for me to figure out.

E-001: Thanks. For everything, I guess. I wouldn't be here today without you.  
0031: Yes, well. I could say the same for you, Herr Engineer. Und I do.

He smiled a little bit at me before closing his eyes. He was asleep in an instant.

Herr Medic and I have just finished cleaning up. Soon he will retrieve the parking brake for me before retreating to his office to sleep. Drei is in her box safe and sound, and everyone else is in their respective bunkers. Tomorrow I am sure that everyone will come crowding in here to say hello to Herr Engineer just as they did when he returned from Gray the first time. I will be hard put to keep him from becoming overwhelmed with visitors and questions and probably another soup can of dandelions from Soldier, but I do not mind it.

I am just glad to be part of a team again.

/entry_33

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted to say thanks to everyone for reading _Of Metal Men._ It's been an awesome ride, and the feedback I've gotten on this story has really propelled me onward in this endeavor and others. Though this series is finished, the story in it isn't, exactly. I'm planning a follow-up work; you might have even seen the little loose ends here that will form its foundation. I hope that all of you will join me for _Der Fleischmann._


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